Worst of the Worst: The Official Razzie Recap

Last night’s Oscar show may have captured the attention of the vast majority of the Earth’s population, but not all.

 Some of us prefer adjectives like “cheese” and “corn” to “glitz” and “glamor.” We’re a stalwart lot who root around in tinsel town’s leavings as deftly as Lauren Dern through Triceratops poo.  For us, our Super Bowl actually came on Saturday when the 31^st Annual Golden Raspberry Awards were held.

                The Razzies “celebrate” (read: skewer) the worst Hollywood has to offer. A few weeks back, I made my predictions as to who would claim… ehem…victory. I think I did pretty well for myself overall. Let’s recap:

                Worst Picture

                                I Predicted: The Last Airbender

                                And the Razzie goes too… The Last Airbender

                                Thoughts: M. Night didn’t disappoint! The one time Oscar nominee continued his whiplash-inducing decline and took home five spray-painted trophies.

                Worst Actor

       I Predicted: Robert Pattinson, Eclipse and Remember Me

       And the Razzie goes to… Ashton Kutcher, Valentine’s Day and Killers

       Thoughts: Kutcher was a real surprise winner. Who even remembers “Killers” or the fact that Kutch was in “Valentine’s Day?” I thought Pattinson’s teeny-bobber appeal would put a huge target on his back, but Kutch came out of nowhere to take the prize.

                Worst Actress

                                I Predicted: The Cast of Sex and the City 2

                                And the Razzie goes to… The Cast of Sex and the City 2

                                Thoughts: The gals drew a lot of criticism for being too old and for spending money too carelessly in these tough times. I can’t comment on either of those things, but the Razzies like to play outside the box and splitting an award four ways is pretty outside the box.

                Worst Director

                                I Predicted: M. Night Shyamalan

                                And the Razzie goes to… M. Night Shyamalan

                                Thoughts: I’m paraphrasing, but Razzie founder John Wilson noted that the cartoon version of “Airbender” was far more realistic than Shyamalan’s live action version. Can we just officially replace the phrase “punching bag” with “Shyamalan” already?

                Worst Supporting Actor

                                I Predicted: Billy Ray Cyrus, The Spy Next Door

                                And the Razzie goes to… Jackson Rathbone, Eclipse AND The Last Airbender

                                Thoughts: I was hoping that Billy Ray’s recent public criticism of his daughter, Miley, would win him the ire of Razzie voters. That or the fact that he rode a preteen back into the lime light like some kind of fame-addicted parasite. I guess Rathbone starring in two of the worst films of the year is pretty impressive.

Worst Supporting Actress

                   I Predicted: Jessica Alba, The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete and Valentine’s Day

                   And the Razzie goes to... Jessica Alba, The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete and Valentine’s Day

                   Thoughts: She was nominated for FOUR separate movies. If the Razzies website were better constructed, I would look to see if that was some kind of record. Sadly… the site is a mess. Certainly it seems like a lot.

                Worst On-Screen Couple

                                I Predicted: The Cast of Sex and the City 2

                                And the Razzie goes to… The Cast of Sex and the City 2

                                Thoughts: I figured if they could pull down a joint Worst Actress trophy, then this category should be no problem. All told, the gals took home three awards.       

                Not bad at all. I’ll take 5 for 7. That’s a solid extra innings day at the plate. Figured I’d work in a little baseball analogy since spring training is upon us once again.

 Also, I snarkily mentioned yesterday that “The King’s Speech” would take home the top honors at last night’s Oscar ceremonies, further proving how out of touch Hollywood is. And lo and behold look who came out on top. So you can go ahead and tack that one on to my total if you’re so inclined.

And I am.

6 for 8. That would make Pete Rose proud. In both the baseball and the gambling sense.

Bumblebee tuna.   

Worst of the Worst: The Official Razzie Recap

Last night’s Oscar show may have captured the attention of the vast majority of the Earth’s population, but not all.

 Some of us prefer adjectives like “cheese” and “corn” to “glitz” and “glamor.” We’re a stalwart lot who root around in tinsel town’s leavings as deftly as Lauren Dern through Triceratops poo.  For us, our Super Bowl actually came on Saturday when the 31^st Annual Golden Raspberry Awards were held.

                The Razzies “celebrate” (read: skewer) the worst Hollywood has to offer. A few weeks back, I made my predictions as to who would claim… ehem…victory. I think I did pretty well for myself overall. Let’s recap:

                Worst Picture

                                I Predicted: The Last Airbender

                                And the Razzie goes too… The Last Airbender

                                Thoughts: M. Night didn’t disappoint! The one time Oscar nominee continued his whiplash-inducing decline and took home five spray-painted trophies.

                Worst Actor

       I Predicted: Robert Pattinson, Eclipse and Remember Me

       And the Razzie goes to… Ashton Kutcher, Valentine’s Day and Killers

       Thoughts: Kutcher was a real surprise winner. Who even remembers “Killers” or the fact that Kutch was in “Valentine’s Day?” I thought Pattinson’s teeny-bobber appeal would put a huge target on his back, but Kutch came out of nowhere to take the prize.

                Worst Actress

                                I Predicted: The Cast of Sex and the City 2

                                And the Razzie goes to… The Cast of Sex and the City 2

                                Thoughts: The gals drew a lot of criticism for being too old and for spending money too carelessly in these tough times. I can’t comment on either of those things, but the Razzies like to play outside the box and splitting an award four ways is pretty outside the box.

                Worst Director

                                I Predicted: M. Night Shyamalan

                                And the Razzie goes to… M. Night Shyamalan

                                Thoughts: I’m paraphrasing, but Razzie founder John Wilson noted that the cartoon version of “Airbender” was far more realistic than Shyamalan’s live action version. Can we just officially replace the phrase “punching bag” with “Shyamalan” already?

                Worst Supporting Actor

                                I Predicted: Billy Ray Cyrus, The Spy Next Door

                                And the Razzie goes to… Jackson Rathbone, Eclipse AND The Last Airbender

                                Thoughts: I was hoping that Billy Ray’s recent public criticism of his daughter, Miley, would win him the ire of Razzie voters. That or the fact that he rode a preteen back into the lime light like some kind of fame-addicted parasite. I guess Rathbone starring in two of the worst films of the year is pretty impressive.

Worst Supporting Actress

                   I Predicted: Jessica Alba, The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete and Valentine’s Day

                   And the Razzie goes to... Jessica Alba, The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete and Valentine’s Day

                   Thoughts: She was nominated for FOUR separate movies. If the Razzies website were better constructed, I would look to see if that was some kind of record. Sadly… the site is a mess. Certainly it seems like a lot.

                Worst On-Screen Couple

                                I Predicted: The Cast of Sex and the City 2

                                And the Razzie goes to… The Cast of Sex and the City 2

                                Thoughts: I figured if they could pull down a joint Worst Actress trophy, then this category should be no problem. All told, the gals took home three awards.       

                Not bad at all. I’ll take 5 for 7. That’s a solid extra innings day at the plate. Figured I’d work in a little baseball analogy since spring training is upon us once again.

 Also, I snarkily mentioned yesterday that “The King’s Speech” would take home the top honors at last night’s Oscar ceremonies, further proving how out of touch Hollywood is. And lo and behold look who came out on top. So you can go ahead and tack that one on to my total if you’re so inclined.

And I am.

6 for 8. That would make Pete Rose proud. In both the baseball and the gambling sense.

Bumblebee tuna.   

The nominees for the 31st Annual Razzie Awards are...

What would a celebration of Hollywood’s best be without mercilessly raking its worst over the coals a few times for laughs?

The nominations for the 31^st Annual Golden Raspberry Awards, aka the Razzies, were announced yesterday, celebrating the absolute worst abominations to crawl their way out of the Hollywood sewer under the cover of darkness this past year.   

Hey, it’s all in good fun and best of all no one gets hurt. This year’s ceremony is being dedicated to Judd Apatow’s sense of humor which sadly passed away this year at the tender age of 43. His sense of humor leaves behind a funny bone that no longer serves any purpose other than to get bashed against things and really, really hurt.

Actually I made that up, but just because it’s made up doesn’t make it not true. Or something like that. Team Ricky! Wooo!

M. Night Shyamlan’s latest debacle “The Last Airbender” and the most recent “Twilight” movie, “Eclipse” each scored nine nominations to lead the pack. All Time Razzie King Sly Stallone picked up his world record 31^st nomination for his work directing “The Expendables.” For those keeping score at home, Stallone has more than twice as many nominations as his nearest competitor, Kevin Costner.  

   Here’s a rundown of the nominees in some of the year’s biggest categories with my predicted… umm… “winners” underlined.

Worst Picture

·         The Bounty Hunter

·         The Last Airbender

·         Sex and the City 2

·         Eclipse

·         Vampires Suck

Worst Actor

·         Jack Black Gulliver’s Travels

·         Gerard Butler The Bounty Hunter

·         Ashton Kutcher Killers and Valentine’s Day

·         Taylor Lautner Eclipse and Valentine’s Day

·         Robert Pattinson Remember Me and Eclipse

Worst Actress

·         Jennifer Aniston The Bounty Hunter and The Switch

·         Miley Cyrus The Last Song

·         The Four Gal Pals Sex and the City 2

·         Megan Fox Jonah Hex

·         Kristen Stewart Eclipse

Worst Supporting Actor

·         Billy Ray Cyrus The Spy Next Door

·         George Lopez Marmaduke, The Spy Next Door and Valentine’s Day

·         Dev Patel The Last Airbender

·         Jackson Rathbone The Last Airbender and Eclipse

·         Rob Schneider Grown Ups

Worst Supporting Actress

·         Jessica Alba The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete and Valentine’s Day

·         Cher Burlesque

·         Liza Minnelli Sex and the City 2

·         Nicola Peltz The Last Airbender

·         Barbra Streisand Little Fockers

Worst Screen Couple/ Ensemble

·         Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler The Bounty Hunter

·         Josh Brolin’s Face and Megan Fox’s accent Jonah Hex

·         Cast of The Last Airbender

·         Cast of Sex and the City 2

·         Cast of Eclipse

Worst Director

·         Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer Vampires Suck

·         Michael Patrick King Sex and the City 2

·         M. Night Shyamalan The Last Airbender

·         David Slade Eclipse

·         Sly Stallone The Expendables

For a full list of all of this year’s nominees, click here.

The 31^st Annual Golden Raspberry Awards will be held on February 26, 2011, at the Barnsdall Gallery Theatre in Hollywood, California. As per Razzies tradition, the nomination ceremony and the awards ceremony each precede their Academy Awards counterpart by one day.

                Bumblebee tuna.

The nominees for the 31st Annual Razzie Awards are...

What would a celebration of Hollywood’s best be without mercilessly raking its worst over the coals a few times for laughs?

The nominations for the 31^st Annual Golden Raspberry Awards, aka the Razzies, were announced yesterday, celebrating the absolute worst abominations to crawl their way out of the Hollywood sewer under the cover of darkness this past year.   

Hey, it’s all in good fun and best of all no one gets hurt. This year’s ceremony is being dedicated to Judd Apatow’s sense of humor which sadly passed away this year at the tender age of 43. His sense of humor leaves behind a funny bone that no longer serves any purpose other than to get bashed against things and really, really hurt.

Actually I made that up, but just because it’s made up doesn’t make it not true. Or something like that. Team Ricky! Wooo!

M. Night Shyamlan’s latest debacle “The Last Airbender” and the most recent “Twilight” movie, “Eclipse” each scored nine nominations to lead the pack. All Time Razzie King Sly Stallone picked up his world record 31^st nomination for his work directing “The Expendables.” For those keeping score at home, Stallone has more than twice as many nominations as his nearest competitor, Kevin Costner.  

   Here’s a rundown of the nominees in some of the year’s biggest categories with my predicted… umm… “winners” underlined.

Worst Picture

·         The Bounty Hunter

·         The Last Airbender

·         Sex and the City 2

·         Eclipse

·         Vampires Suck

Worst Actor

·         Jack Black Gulliver’s Travels

·         Gerard Butler The Bounty Hunter

·         Ashton Kutcher Killers and Valentine’s Day

·         Taylor Lautner Eclipse and Valentine’s Day

·         Robert Pattinson Remember Me and Eclipse

Worst Actress

·         Jennifer Aniston The Bounty Hunter and The Switch

·         Miley Cyrus The Last Song

·         The Four Gal Pals Sex and the City 2

·         Megan Fox Jonah Hex

·         Kristen Stewart Eclipse

Worst Supporting Actor

·         Billy Ray Cyrus The Spy Next Door

·         George Lopez Marmaduke, The Spy Next Door and Valentine’s Day

·         Dev Patel The Last Airbender

·         Jackson Rathbone The Last Airbender and Eclipse

·         Rob Schneider Grown Ups

Worst Supporting Actress

·         Jessica Alba The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete and Valentine’s Day

·         Cher Burlesque

·         Liza Minnelli Sex and the City 2

·         Nicola Peltz The Last Airbender

·         Barbra Streisand Little Fockers

Worst Screen Couple/ Ensemble

·         Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler The Bounty Hunter

·         Josh Brolin’s Face and Megan Fox’s accent Jonah Hex

·         Cast of The Last Airbender

·         Cast of Sex and the City 2

·         Cast of Eclipse

Worst Director

·         Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer Vampires Suck

·         Michael Patrick King Sex and the City 2

·         M. Night Shyamalan The Last Airbender

·         David Slade Eclipse

·         Sly Stallone The Expendables

For a full list of all of this year’s nominees, click here.

The 31^st Annual Golden Raspberry Awards will be held on February 26, 2011, at the Barnsdall Gallery Theatre in Hollywood, California. As per Razzies tradition, the nomination ceremony and the awards ceremony each precede their Academy Awards counterpart by one day.

                Bumblebee tuna.