Thursday, February 15, 2007

the "man"... or rather the "state"

okay just when i thought everyone was over the "incident", and not mad at me anymore, i thought wrong...

it turns out that the new zealand conservation department had an alterior motive for driving me personally to my destination in the south... turns out we were making a stop at the otago bureau of the department...



i've never really understood the phrase "signing my life away"... that is till now...

so for me to live here in new zealand a whole new category of immigrant status had to be invented. as of 12:04 i'm now officially a

"Landed Extracontinential Organism"


(sounds kinda like an alien invasion movie title or something!).

the reason for this weird and scary sounding title, is that in the old days when people were moving here from overseas they brought a bunch of animals over that weren't supposed to live here, and they've caused quite a mess with the local environment...

what my new status is saying is that i'm an allowed foriegn species of animal, BUT that they'll be watching me closely (i'm kinda scarred... i've seen that movie 1984. they watched people in that all the time too, and bad stuff happened!!!... hopefully 23 years later those problems have gone away...) to make sure that i behave... in an ecologically friendly sense of the word behave...

because i'm the only member of my species living in new zealand there's a bunch of other stuff i have to do as well... apparently because there's only one of me (a tyrannosaurus rex traumadorius) i'm a nationally critical animal on their endangered species list. ie. i'm as endangered an animal as they come around here!


so because i'm so "threatened" the people in the department of conservation have given me a TON of that i must follow at ALL times from here on in...

Any individaul or population of tyrannasaurus rex traumadorius:

  • A. May not engage in any behaviour or activity that might threaten individual's or population's well being or survivial

  • B. May not engage in any behaviour or activity that will alter or disrupt New Zealand natural habitats, species, or ecosystems

  • C. Must report to the DOC (Department of Conservation) any change in habitat, territory, or ecosystem within 24 hours of change

  • D. May not breed within New Zealand without permission from the D.O.C.

  • E. Must report any and all predation of native species to the D.O.C. (with a possibility of violation of clause B.)

  • F. Must assist in research efforts at better understanding species biologic and conservation needs and issues

  • G. Must cooperate with D.O.C. agents and officers in any capacity or function they deem necessary to protect New Zealand's environment

where's the fun in any of that?!? now i have to follow a bunch of directives like a stupid robot!!!

even worse due to my being considered "intelligent"...

at first i might add i was very happy they said i was intellegent! that is till i found out it lead to bad things! they decided due to my almost being smart that i wasn't just an endangered species, but also an immigrant.

as of such i have the following criteria from the department of immigration, and i have to meet them before march 31!!! AHHHHHHHH

  • A permenant place of residence
  • Stable employment
  • At least 3 signed referals or endorsement

oh man... no pressure or anything, but if i don't get these 3 things by mar. 31 st their going to ship me back to canada!!!

well people of the web wide world i'm needing to go. things to do and all that... oh boy oh boy

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