Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Family Advocates

I got to meet with and orient a new Family Advocate in my work with TriState Habitat for Humanity today. Family Advocates are volunteers who work with our Partner Families from the time that they are approved as Partner Families until a year after they close on their homes. This is a huge commitment and we are blessed to have so many dedicated volunteers who agree to journey with our Partner Families in this way.
One of the things that I talk about with new Family Advocates is that advocacy is really about "doing with" the Partner Family rather than "doing for" the Partner Family. The most effective Advocates come alongside Partner Families and both hold them accountable to the expectations of Habitat partnership and encourage them. Advocates are the people our Partner Families can lean on for encouragement when they are struggling with balancing their work schedules, family schedules, and trying to complete their 500 hours of sweat equity. However, Advocates are not supposed to do the hours for their assigned families. Sometimes they have to use "tough love" and remind their assigned families of the agreements they made when they signed their letters of intent to partner with Habitat.
Being a Family Advocate is both a great joy and a lot of hard work. It involves a lot of paper work, regular contact with the Partner Family, and commitment to the mission of Habitat for Humanity to give families a hand up rather than a hand out. Advocacy requires a lot of patience, good listening skills, and a passion for working with the poor.
I give God thanks and praise that we have so many wonderful volunteers who feel called to serve as Family Advocates. I am grateful for the help that they give to our Partner Families and for their willingness to be the face of Jesus to them.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

NBA Finals 2011: Can the Mavericks Slow Down LeBron James


http://www.espnstar.com/home/football/
This will be the most difficult situation. Shawn Marion did a great job on Kevin Durant, but Durant—although he plays the same position as LeBron—doesn’t play the same way at all.

LeBron gets to the rim and has much more physicality than Durant. LeBron is also showing his three-point shot is a threat too, so Marion can’t give him too much space.

The issue created here is LeBron will be on the floor 44 minutes a night. The Mavericks can not afford to have Peja Stojakovic guard him. LeBron will blow by Stojakovic every time with ease, get to the rim, and put Dallas’ bigs in foul trouble.

If you look at the Dallas-OKC series, by the end, Shawn Marion was playing about 40 minutes a night. Marion, who often led the league in minutes played, is athletic enough to do this, but it puts pressure on him to also score since Peja’s minutes are now down to single digits. Peja’s point totals in the last three games: 7, 4, 3.
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Before, when Marion would play about 28 minutes and Peja would get 20, Marion could score 16, Peja would get 14 and the Mavs were getting 30 points out of the small forward position. Now, when Peja can only be expected to chip in 4 or 5, Marion has to do what he did in Game 5 against OKC and chip in 25.

Problems here?

Foul Trouble- If Marion gets into foul trouble, that means more Peja on LeBron.

Marion’s Offense- Yes, Marion scored 26 points in the last game, but he also had a 9 point and 7 point outing during the OKC series. Against L.A., when Artest was on him—LeBron’s defense these playoffs has been near Artest levels—Marion scored a grand total of 30 points in four games.

Other Options? With Dwyane Wade, they can throw Stevenson, Kidd, Brewer and Terry at him and have a good chance of slowing him down. With LeBron, after Marion they really don’t have any options defensively.
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I don’t see the Mavericks being able to take LeBron out of games the way they were able to with Kevin Durant. One strategy could be to have LeBron play the role of facilitator and trust their defense on the other four players. The other strategy is realize LeBron’s going to get 30 a game, but try and get a matching 30 or at least 25 from the Marion/Peja pairing.

In 2006, Wade was the Heat’s most dangerous weapon, in 2011 it’s LeBron.

Mega Blocks Review with Thomas the train

My kids are in love with blocks, Lego's anything they can build with but its hard for the littler ones because I get nervous with the small Lego's. With Mega Blocks I don't have to worry. They are like Lego's just bigger. The Perfect size for my 3 and 4 year old and even my 6 year old. I also love that Mega Bloks has character themes that my kids love. My 4 year old love Thomas the Train. She has all kinds of Thomas toys but her favorite ones are her Mega Bloks Thomas sets. So when we got the chance to try out one of their newest sets the Thomas the Train Busy day at the Quarry we were all excited.


When we got it my three youngest were so excited to set it up and play with it. I sat there and helped them set up the track and they played with it for hours. They absolutely adored it. They wanted to leave it set up forever lol but we had to eventually take it down to clean up and told them they could put it back together another day to play more with it again. The very next day they had it back up and was playing with it again for hours. Me and my kids loved this set and I love Mega Bloks and will continue to buy them and recommend them to all my friends and family. They are awesome! If you haven't checked them out yet you definitely should your little ones will love them too! 


Enter the world of Thomas and Friends with this great buildable play set from Mega Bloks! 


 "Help Thomas and his friend Mavis transport rocks from the quarry to the dock. Use real-working crane! Build and rebuild the quarry to make each day a different busy day at the quarry! Ideal for Children ages 3 and up.

Features:

  • Includes Thomas and Mavis, crane, coal, coal chute, building blocks and ramps.
  • Use the storage bucket to climb and race Thomas and Mavis down the ramps.
  • Real-working crane!
  • Builds up to 4 feet long!
  • Build and rebuild for hours of endless play!
  • Combine with Thomas at Sodor Fair (10515) or other Thomas playsets to further build your Mega Bloks Thomas universe."


You can buy this playset for just $29.99!  You can also follow Mega Brands on Facebook and Twitter- you don't want to miss out on all the cool stuff. Also Make sure you sign up for the Mega Bloks Family Club


Members receive: 
 * A PRINTABLE COUPON for $5 off any $30 or more Mega Bloks purchase
 Other exclusive OFFERS, CONTESTS, SWEEPSTAKES and PROMOTIONS on Mega Bloks toys
* Information on NEW Mega Bloks toys for kids ages 1 to 6
 An EDUCATIONAL and INFORMATIVE BLOG by a leading panel of mom bloggers with articles on the benefits of construction toys, product reviews, pictures and more
* A FREE EMAIL NEWSLETTER with great new building ideas, toys for kids ages 1 and up and other helpful information
* To sign up, visit: http://familyclub.megabloks.com

Tasty Tuesday Recipe

Layered Coconut Cream Cheesecake Bars


Ingredients:

84  NILLA Wafers, divided

6 Tbsp. butter, melted

1 pkg. (8 oz.) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened

2 Tbsp. sugar

1 tub (8 oz.) COOL WHIP Whipped Topping, thawed, divided

2 pkg. (3.4 oz. each) JELL-O Vanilla Flavor Instant Pudding

2-1/2 cups cold milk

1-1/2 cups BAKER'S ANGEL FLAKE Coconut, toasted, divided
  • Directions:
  • RESERVE 24 wafers. Crush remaining wafers; mix with butter. Press onto bottom of 13x9-inch pan. Refrigerate while preparing filling.

  • BEAT cream cheese and sugar with mixer until well blended. Whisk in 1 cup COOL WHIP. Carefully spread over crust. Stand reserved wafers around edges.

  • BEAT pudding mixes and milk with whisk in medium bowl 2 min. Stir in 1 cup COOL WHIP and 3/4 cup coconut; spread over cream cheese layer. Top with remaining COOL WHIP and coconut. Refrigerate 5 hours.

Changing your body.

If you follow me here then you know that the topics of weight, body image and working out comes up every now and then. And you also know that I have been a person my entire life who never worried about what I was ate. I could brag about eating an entire pizza. I also didn't work out. Sure I'd have the occasional walk on the treadmill, but not regularly.

Then I went to a zumba class on October 1, 2010 purely because I was missing something. I was missing moving, physicality. Sure I got it through dance when I was younger and now through the occasional musical. When it's nice out I love to go for walks. But I wanted to be active, for the sake of being active. I wanted to feel useful and not lazy.

This has started me on a path of changes. The way I view my body, what I want for my body and even what I find attractive.

I became addicted to zumba my first class. I went all over, to many instructors and even wanted to teach it for awhile. It was fun. I'd always said I didn't like working out and when I found this I never felt like I was working out. It was just a great and fun hour. I knew if I could find something to get me active, anyone could. After going religiously for the past 8 months I started to cut back a bit. I thought about it. I'm putting in a lot of zumba time. Sure I've come a long way endurance - wise. I can breathe easy through a class. I'm not drenched in sweat after the way I used to be. But did I look different? No. My body did not change. That's when I started realizing if I was going to put in this time, I wanted to see something. And I truly realized then just how much I didn't know.

I didn't know that cardio is the slowest way to lose weight and/or tone up. I also never considered weights or machines at the gym. I mean, those are for guys, right? Wrong. I started to learn about what I'd never considered. If you do want to lose the last 5 or 10 pounds, cardio alone is not going to cut it. You have to add weights and resistance training.

Now, I'm naturally small. But I wouldn't say I've ever been toned. I've never tried to build muscle. I just thought my body wasn't able to tone. But the truth was, I don't know because I've never tried.

I also started to see a new body type popping up. Lean but muscular. With killer arms. I'd never considered wanting to change my body or wanting to tone up like that. Honestly, what I'd always thought was the most attractive was a thin, skinny body (I still do find that attractive and will be the first to tell you many women are naturally that way and it does NOT mean it's a result of an eating disorder). Now I was starting to be intrigued by women with that lean muscle. And how were they doing that to their arms?!

I think what finally pushed me over the other side was the body transformation of Leann Rimes. Now I know a lot of people are going to think she is too thin, or too muscular, or not like her abs, I get that. But you have to be impressed by the work, discipline and time it must have taken to completely transform herself. I mean, look at this:












There you have it in proof that changing your body is possible. Whatever that means to you. To lose weight, to put on weight, to tone certain parts of you, to build certain muscle groups.

I don't need to lose any weight, so don't think I'm saying I need to be skinnier. But I want to learn how to use those machines at the gym and lift those weights to give me the killer arms and tighten me up all over.

I went with a friend, Jenee last week for the first time. She's been training for years and has probably one of the very best bodies I've ever seen. It was so hard for me my first time out, I'd never moved like that. At one point I felt like I was going to be sick. It really surprised me. But it passed and I pushed through.

Today I did my hour of zumba but this time added an hour in the gym. I went through what she'd taught me and even added a little more with weights I'd researched on my own. It was still hard, but even easier to get through today, as in I never got sick and I didn't have to take as long of breaks (don't plan to cut out cardio, but I see now that six days a week is really not what I need). At this point, what I need is to see some changes and results. It's crazy that I've fallen into this whole new thing, I never thought I would. I never thought I'd be in a gym or wanting to see muscle. Now I'm so interested I want to learn everything I could possibly do. This has opened up a whole new world. I want to see myself toned and strong and defined.

I figure in posting this, others who were in the same boat as me will read this and see what is possible too. You just have to do it. Ask someone who looks the way you'd like to look (like I did with Jenee. Everyone will tell you what you should do, but to be blunt, most of these people don't look like they have first hand gotten the results they speak of. As soon as I was put in contact with a female near my age who actually looked the way I wanted to, I jumped on my chance to get her help) what they do and if they can help you learn. Of course you feel awkward the first time you're in the gym learning new things. Even today I felt a little out of place at first. But you look around and see that nobody cares and it's actually very comfortable. I wanted to stay longer and would have but my arms were feeling like jelly by the end. In the best way possible.

I want to write about this publicly, too, so then I'm not tempted to sleep in, or skip a day. You can hold me to it. I want to change my body. One thing seemed to lead to another all starting back in October and I love that my views and interests are expanding. If I want to tone up, then I've got to put in the work. It no longer feels right to sit around wondering why I just don't tone.

It also makes me rethink the "I can eat an entire pizza"! If I'm going to work this hard, I want to feel fueled. I want to eat right, healthier for me. Sure I'm lucky it doesn't pack on the pounds. But it could one day. And I can't help but wonder if I'd have more energy and feel overall better if I tried to limit the pizza and candy diet. I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, Giuliana Rancic (another with amazing arms) has a website with tons of workout, health and beauty tips called Fab Fit Fun. Take a look! http://fabfitfun.com tons of great tips!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Doin' it!



Episode 12 of the "Jack & Coke Lady Show" is here! Can you believe she's been around for over THREE YEARS?! Yeah, me neither. You've met previous guest stars Margarita Mary, Aunt Brandy & Liquored Laurie...now I present to you...Cyrstal Cristal! Enjoy you fabulous bitches.



NBA Playoffs 2011: Miami Zombies, or Night of the Living Heat


Count Erik Spoelstra has risen from the grave, and he wants the fresh blood of virgin Dallas Mavericks.

Now coaching the Transylvania Heat, he knows that only garlic and a wooden stake in the heart can stop his team of zombies from devouring what’s left of the playoff teams.

Spoelstra has taken his game plan from his mentor, Nosferatu Riley, a long-standing bloodsucker from ancient days when Celtic leprechauns roamed the NBA. He may no longer have his old “Magic,” but never underestimate Riley.

Erik the Red Spoelstra believes his team has True Blood, and he can hardly wait for the Twilight of the finals to commence.

The LeBron Monster has run rampant across the NBA countryside.

Helpless Bulls chased the Monster for several games, tossing him a Rose to satisfy his urge for more bloody victories. Not even the famous Big Three of Boston, pitchforks in hand, were enough to stop the creature on his rampage.

Igor Bosh, too, has been playing Resurrection Man for the diabolical Spoelstra, bringing him the bodies of recently buried NBA referees to pick their bones clean.

Perhaps the most frightful part of the Transylvania Heat is Countess Gloria with her insatiable appetite for the blood of young players. Sitting in the front row of the nightly Miami games, no player wants to step out of bounds near her.

If the moon over Miami is full, werewolf D-Wade will howl and claw at the court, looking for more points of blood.

Famous vampire slayer, Dr. Dirk Van Nowitzki of Wurzburg, will be sorely tested. We hope he is up on his Slovenian lore about the night of the living dead, Miami-style. His Mavericks have been armed with garlic and wooden stakes, but it may not be enough.

We could be watching a slaughterhouse in five.

Memorial Day

Executive Mansion,

Washington, Nov. 21, 1864.

Dear Madam,--


I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle.
I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save.
I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.


Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,
A. Lincoln

Happy Memorial Day and Remember to give thanks!


It is the 
VETERAN

not the preacher, 
who has given us freedom of religion


It is 

the VETERAN

not the reporter, 
 who has given us freedom of the press.



It is 

the VETERAN
not the poet, 
who has given us freedom of speech.


It is 
the VETERAN

not the campus organizer, 

who has given us freedom to assemble. 




It is 

the VETERAN
not the lawyer, 
who has given us the right to a fair trial. 


It is 

the VETERAN

not the politician, 
who has given us the right to vote. 



It is 

the VETERAN 
who salutes the Flag, 

It is 

the VETERAN
who serves under the Flag. 



So Remember This Memorial day to give thanks to the Military and Veterans who gave us freedom and gave their lives for us they are true HEROES!! 

Winners

We got 3 lucky winners to announce this great Memorial Day!

The First one is for the 8th continental milk giveaway...

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

15  21 

Timestamp: 2011-05-30 16:13:33 UTC



B.J. said...15




entered the pirates of the caribbean giveaway (chucosbabygirl(at)yahoo(dot)com)



kolpin said...21




vote on pf
kolpin4680 at gmail dot com

_____________________________
The next one is for the Aurora giveaway....

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

5 

Timestamp: 2011-05-30 16:14:12 UTC



Linda Kish said...5




My favorite is the 13" MILLY KITTEN
lkish77123 at gmail dot com

____________________________
The last one is for the He Is We CD giveaway....

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

1 

Timestamp: 2011-05-30 16:15:52 UTC



AmandaSue said...1




The duo first went on the road in 2009.
unforgetable_dreamer_always (at) hotmail (dot) com

_____________________________
Congrats you have all been emailed and have 48 hours to claim have a great Memorial Day and remember to give thanks!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Turning Points

I have been watching today a History Channel series on the American Revolution through my Netflix subscription. I always enjoy learning more about the history of our country and this series is well done. I am learning new things about the events that led up to the start of the Revolution and the Revolution itself.
One of the things that has struck me so far is that how many times the cause of American Independence hung by a thread. If events had unfolded in a slightly different way, the United States might never have come into being.
For example, in the Battle of Long Island, New York, the Continental Army was able to resist capture and defeat because of heavy fog that allowed troops to escape from the British who were charging after them. But for the camouflage of the fog, all might have been lost early on for the Americans. Also, when Washington and his troops made their famous crossing of the Delaware River to attack in Trenton, New Jersey, they might have been overwhelmed by Hessian troops but for the fact that reinforcements had not yet arrived because the commander of these troops stopped in Mount Holly, New Jersey to be entertained by a widow whose affection he wanted to win. Along with this, many Continental soldiers' commissions were up at the end of 1776 and most planned to go back to their homes. However, Washington promised them a $10 raise (the equivalent of one month's pay) and many decided to stay. The interesting thing is that Washington never had Congressional approval for this raise. He made it up on the fly with the hope of enticing soldiers to continue fighting. What if Congress had not gone along with this or what if the majority of soldiers would have not thought $10 extra was enough? Again, history would have been very different.
What this helps me to see is that the decisions we make both small and large and the actions that we take both small and large impact the future in ways that we may never realize. While not all of us are going to be leaders like George Washington, we still have the power to influence people and make a difference in our world. For example, I once read that if every member of the United Methodist Church tithed (gave ten percent of their income to the church), all budgets would be met locally, nationally, and globally and there would be enough money left over to end hunger in the entire world. And that's only United Methodists. Think what could be possible if Lutherans, Episcopalians, Presbyterians, Catholics, and all other Christians would tithe. The entire world might be transformed in the name of Jesus Christ. Now that would really be something.
I invite you to join me in praying about how together we can make a difference in the world with the resources with which God has blessed us. It all starts with us. We have the power to change the world if only we will step out in faith.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Chandler, Stevenson become Mavs' stoppers


http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/
Eleven years ago, Tyson Chandler sat in a high school gym south of Los Angeles and watched DeShawn Stevenson take a couple of dribbles past half-court and launch jumpers from ridiculously far beyond the 3-point line. This was a prelude to jogging back and waiting for his teammates to get the ball back for him.

Afterward, it was Stevenson's turn to watch Chandler, a reed-thin 7-footer take his turn trying to stop the nation's most coveted high school player, Eddie Griffin. What Stevenson saw was a player who preferred to be camped near the 3-point line rather than the basket, a player who at times looked lost against Griffin's refined game.
 
Fast forward, and Chandler and Stevenson, reunited as starters for the Dallas Mavericks, are hardly recognizable — and not just for their tattoos and beards.

They took the leap directly from high school to the NBA, but as the reality of life as pros set in, they have transformed themselves into players who earn their place on the court with defense.

In many ways, the modifications both players made to their games have been mirrored by the Mavericks, who for much of the decade have tried to win by outscoring opponents. It has been a workable formula in the regular season — Dallas has recorded 11 consecutive 50-win seasons — but it has led to a litany of playoff failures.

Now, thanks to Chandler's presence — and, to a lesser degree, Stevenson — the Mavericks have put enough bite in their defense to blow through the rugged Western Conference, including their blitz of the two-time defending champion Lakers, and into the NBA Finals, which begin Tuesday in Miami.

The role of Chandler and Stephenson will be important against the Heat.

Chandler will be the last line of defense against LeBron James' and Dwyane Wade's attacks on the rim, and he might also be charged with defending Chris Bosh.

Stephenson likely will defend Wade but, given his strength, could find himself on James, with whom he once sparred in a Cleveland-Washington playoff series.

The Mavericks' identity still comes from their scorers — Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Terry — but they have been trying to add a defensive element to their game with the hiring of Avery Johnson and then Rick Carlisle as head coach. The problem is when your centers for the past decade have been Erick Dampier, DeSagana Diop and Shawn Bradley, it's hard to be taken seriously.

When Chandler arrived, he thought what most everyone else did about the Mavericks — they were soft.

"People have a misunderstanding about that," Chandler said. "They think if you're soft, you've got to throw punches and throw elbows and do dirty things. That's not what I mean.

"I mean, when it gets tough and it's this time of year and guys get up in you defensively, you've got to set hard screens, you've got to make hard cuts, you've got to execute down the stretch, you've got to not get rattled. You can't let them take you out of your game. You've got to get up in them defensively, (do) all the things people don't want to do basketball wise, all the effort things, all the dirty work. That's the difference."
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As Stevenson noted, the Mavericks now have a number of players who can defend, but Caron Butler was hurt in January and hasn't returned, and Jason Kidd and Shawn Marion are past their primes.

In the playoffs, Chandler — he is a bulked-up forward but still possesses the calves of a giraffe and the waist of a ballerina — has stood up to Oklahoma City's hard-nosed Kendrick Perkins and the Lakers' bullish Andrew Bynum. Stevenson, though his shooting against the Thunder was woeful (6 for 28), gave the Mavericks a physical defender to throw at OKC's Russell Westbrook and LA's Kobe Bryant.

In many ways, Chandler and Stevenson have set the tone on defense.

"Guys bought into what we were trying to bring (because of) the success and the lack of success that a team has had," Chandler said. "They climbed all the way to the mountaintop and didn't get the ring. Then they had some disappointing losses early in the playoffs. So I think this team was definitely looking for something different. They understood, ‘OK, we can't just beat everybody offensively.'

"So when I came along, it was easier to get guys to buy in defensively because it's, ‘OK, we've tried it the other way and we haven't had success.' "

Neither player arrived in Dallas viewed as a difference maker.

Chandler's acquisition from Charlotte, which was eager to dump his $12 million salary, led to some head-scratching. Dallas had recently given its other center, Brendan Haywood, a six-year, $54 million contract.

Stevenson had been acquired with Haywood and Butler at the trade deadline last season. He was, as he admits, a throw-in — he was included only to help balance the salaries of Josh Howard, Drew Gooden, James Singleton and Quinton Ross, who were sent to Washington.

Though he starts, Stevenson plays the minutes of a reserve — the latest adjustment he has made during a career full of them.

"I used to score the ball a lot," said Stevenson, who grew up in Fresno, Calif., and was drafted by Utah at the No. 23 spot in 2000. "I got under (then-Utah coach) Jerry Sloan, and that's all he talked about was playing defense. Being on a veteran team like that, I wasn't getting the ball, so I had to try to do something else different to help. So I did the defensive thing, and it ended up sticking."

Chandler was taken second overall the next year by the Clippers and was immediately shipped to Chicago, where he struggled early in his career. Asked if he envisioned developing into a player like Nowitzki when he left high school, Chandler laughed.
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"I can do nothing that he can do," Chandler said. "I was skilled on the perimeter for a big guy. He's skilled on the perimeter for a basketball player. When I first came into this league, I quickly found out that wasn't going to be my place."

For every Chandler and Stevenson, who have adjusted, there are others — Darius Miles and DerMarr Johnson come to mind — who have not. Basketball follows the principles of Darwin.

"I honestly think that's what separates guys that stick in this league (from) guys who don't," said Chandler, who also grew up in a central California town, Hanford, before moving to the Los Angeles area in middle school. "Some guys don't understand that and they're still stuck in the past and what they can do and this and that.

"In this league, you may come into the right situation, and you may get drafted to the right team to be able to have that kind of success offensively. But if you're not, you've just got to find a way to stick. DeShawn has done an incredible job of adjusting — he's played 11 years — and I feel like I've done the same."

Together, they have helped the Mavericks make an adjustment of their own — putting a little "D" back in Dallas.

Howard the Duck

Credentials: 4.1 out of 10 (imdb.com), 16% Certified Rotten (Rottentomatoes.com)
Plot: A long, long time ago a giant duck was transported from his home, an all-duck planet in a galaxy far, far away, to Earth. Once gets here, he plods around a cliché 80’s movie aimlessly for about 50 minutes until the actual plot gets going. By the time an intergalactic demon shows up to do battle with him/help him occasionally, you just might be asleep. If you’re lucky.
Thoughts: There are so many things I don’t understand about “Howard the Duck.” I can’t fathom why anyone thought it would be a good idea to make a movie about a foul-mouthed… errr… fowl with a script composed almost entirely of duck puns.
                Another thing, why the heck is “Howard the Duck” TWO HOURS LONG!?! There aren’t enough capital letters in the world to properly express how dumbfounded I am by that runtime. Two hours for a movie about a giant duck. Two hours and nothing happens until the 50 minute mark!

                I’m not even sure who the target audience for this movie is. It’s way too stupid to be marketed to anyone over 12, but it’s entirely too creepy to be meant for anyone under it.
                I can say, without the slightest fear of exaggeration, that “Howard the Duck” is one of the 10 creepiest movies ever made.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “How could a movie about a goofy looking space duck be creepy? That day in New York has made you soft you fool!”
I’ve got two words. Duck boobies. And that’s only like 30 seconds into the movie.
Once the real “plot” kicks in, so does the creepy. We’re talking interspecies romance between the space duck and an adorable 80’s rocker chick played by Lea Thompson.
There are all sorts of insane sexual undertones between those two. Undertones so loud they can’t really even be called undertones. More like raging solos.  
                 Watching Lea Thompson hop into bed with a duck and then lovingly caress him… dear god. I like to think I’m an open minded man, but no one should be forced to endure that kind of degenerate craziness.
                So I don’t have a clue who’s supposed to enjoy this movie. As I mentioned, if you took all the duck puns out of the script, you’d be left with about 3 pages.
                In addition to puns, “Howard the Duck” is also jam-packed with 80’s movie clichés.
                There’s an obligatory guitar solo at one point. Jeffrey Jones plays a villain.  You know, the usual.
                The story is an unmitigated disaster and it meanders along at a snail’s pace, but the effects are pretty good. Sound familiar? It should. George Lucas served as the film’s Exec. Producer.
                Any positives? Two.
                Tim Robbins does a delightful Rick Moranis, mad scientist impression. Sadly, he’s not in enough of the movie to make a huge impact.
                The other positive is the painfully lovely Lea Thompson. When she’s not trying to bed a water fowl that is.
                She’s a ball of energy and gives it her all in every scene despite the DOA material she has to work with. If it wasn’t for the bestiality stuff, she might have been good enough to make “Howard the Duck” watchable.
Sadly, it wasn’t meant to be.
Breakdown
:22-
And then I'm going to invent a shrink ray! And then I'm gonna fight ghosts! You just wait!
1:23-
Where have I seen this before?
1:35-
Oh that's right. "Star Wars."
1:45-
Did every 80's movie really HAVE to have a guitar solo in it? Really? 
And now for the Five Creepiest Moments from 'Howard the Duck'!

5.)
Working in a brothel. Awesome setting for a PG movie.
4.)
Duck condum humor... classy?
 3.)
No words... there are simply no words.
2.)


There's no way this movie could get any weirder...

1.)
And it gets weirder! Erection gag! Incredible...

                So there you have it. One of George Lucas’ bigger epic fails. How bad is it? We’re talking Jar-Jar Binks level.
                Bumblebee tuna.

Howard the Duck

Credentials: 4.1 out of 10 (imdb.com), 16% Certified Rotten (Rottentomatoes.com)
Plot: A long, long time ago a giant duck was transported from his home, an all-duck planet in a galaxy far, far away, to Earth. Once gets here, he plods around a cliché 80’s movie aimlessly for about 50 minutes until the actual plot gets going. By the time an intergalactic demon shows up to do battle with him/help him occasionally, you just might be asleep. If you’re lucky.
Thoughts: There are so many things I don’t understand about “Howard the Duck.” I can’t fathom why anyone thought it would be a good idea to make a movie about a foul-mouthed… errr… fowl with a script composed almost entirely of duck puns.
                Another thing, why the heck is “Howard the Duck” TWO HOURS LONG!?! There aren’t enough capital letters in the world to properly express how dumbfounded I am by that runtime. Two hours for a movie about a giant duck. Two hours and nothing happens until the 50 minute mark!

                I’m not even sure who the target audience for this movie is. It’s way too stupid to be marketed to anyone over 12, but it’s entirely too creepy to be meant for anyone under it.
                I can say, without the slightest fear of exaggeration, that “Howard the Duck” is one of the 10 creepiest movies ever made.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “How could a movie about a goofy looking space duck be creepy? That day in New York has made you soft you fool!”
I’ve got two words. Duck boobies. And that’s only like 30 seconds into the movie.
Once the real “plot” kicks in, so does the creepy. We’re talking interspecies romance between the space duck and an adorable 80’s rocker chick played by Lea Thompson.
There are all sorts of insane sexual undertones between those two. Undertones so loud they can’t really even be called undertones. More like raging solos.  
                 Watching Lea Thompson hop into bed with a duck and then lovingly caress him… dear god. I like to think I’m an open minded man, but no one should be forced to endure that kind of degenerate craziness.
                So I don’t have a clue who’s supposed to enjoy this movie. As I mentioned, if you took all the duck puns out of the script, you’d be left with about 3 pages.
                In addition to puns, “Howard the Duck” is also jam-packed with 80’s movie clichés.
                There’s an obligatory guitar solo at one point. Jeffrey Jones plays a villain.  You know, the usual.
                The story is an unmitigated disaster and it meanders along at a snail’s pace, but the effects are pretty good. Sound familiar? It should. George Lucas served as the film’s Exec. Producer.
                Any positives? Two.
                Tim Robbins does a delightful Rick Moranis, mad scientist impression. Sadly, he’s not in enough of the movie to make a huge impact.
                The other positive is the painfully lovely Lea Thompson. When she’s not trying to bed a water fowl that is.
                She’s a ball of energy and gives it her all in every scene despite the DOA material she has to work with. If it wasn’t for the bestiality stuff, she might have been good enough to make “Howard the Duck” watchable.
Sadly, it wasn’t meant to be.
Breakdown
:22-
And then I'm going to invent a shrink ray! And then I'm gonna fight ghosts! You just wait!
1:23-
Where have I seen this before?
1:35-
Oh that's right. "Star Wars."
1:45-
Did every 80's movie really HAVE to have a guitar solo in it? Really? 
And now for the Five Creepiest Moments from 'Howard the Duck'!

5.)
Working in a brothel. Awesome setting for a PG movie.
4.)
Duck condum humor... classy?
 3.)
No words... there are simply no words.
2.)


There's no way this movie could get any weirder...

1.)
And it gets weirder! Erection gag! Incredible...

                So there you have it. One of George Lucas’ bigger epic fails. How bad is it? We’re talking Jar-Jar Binks level.
                Bumblebee tuna.