Thursday, August 30, 2007

come and C the damage

despite the fact the flood has been over for a little while sadly life hasn't quite settled to that nice stability i'd been enjoying for a few months. the flood left quite a mess through out dunedin including the botanic garden.

there's some good news and some bad news when i got back home after the flood ended on my birthday (of all times for it to end!).

the bad news was that the dell where i live had been pretty thoroughly soaked and boggified.

the good news was that i don't owe a lot of stuff, and what little i did have stayed nice and dry with me at salmond during the flood.

another bit of bad news i'd totally forgotten about, was one of my directives from the department of conservation:

C. Must report to the Department of Conservation
any change in habitat, territory, or ecosystem
within 24 hours of change

though i hadn't given my conservation directives a second thought there was someone else who had...

my attaché with DOC agent hamilton was very eager to checkup on me. especially in light of the flood...

last time she'd visited i didn't quite manage to get on her good side. not that i got on her bad side either... she is just intimidating to be honest, and i had no idea how to make sure she didn't hate me.

i mean after all i can't have the person whose in charge of my living in this country not like me. that'd make life unfun in a hurry... or so i'd think... with my small brain...

agent hamilton showed up in the middle of the afternoon. not a time i would have expected a visit from DOC... which was kind of the idea i think.

during her last visit agent hamilton had insisted on NOT entering the dell due to fears of disturbing my habitat. even though she hadn't seen it she knew exactly where to look for it.


i became aware of something not quite normal when i caught the scent of someone coming down the path (we t-rexs have pretty dare good senses of smell). it's unusual for people to wander into the dell due to the urban legend of the dell being a maze of doom...

man was i surprised when that person wandering in was agent hamilton!



"ah good," said agent hamilton as she walked up to me. "i'm glad you are home mr. tyrannosaur."

"you can call me traumador," i prompted. nobody ever calls me by my last name.

"i wish to inspect the damage caused by the flood," she ignored me.

"well other then a bit of erosion and swampyness everything is pretty much alright," i reported.

"so there have been changes to your territory as a result of the flood," agent hamilton made a note in her book.

"just a few little ones," i wanted to impress her by pointing them out. "like this new little drain creek here, and the bog mud here."

cutting me off though. "mr. tyrannosaur you are aware that you are currently in violation of article C of your conservation directives?" she was clearly unhappy.

"uh no," my heart sank. i thought i'd been doing really good in everything up till now. suddenly i wasn't...

"i'm going to consider this a warning to you mr. tyrannosaur," her voice was icy. "but in the future i highly suggest you reference your directives at least once a week to ensure that you are in compliance with them."

"okay," i sadly replied. so much for the stability of the before. also so much for getting on agent hamilton's good side. this was so getting on her bad side...

"fortunately this incident was a minor violation of article C. in the future event of a similar natural disaster please contact us to alert us of its effecting you. we can not ensure your survival unless we are given adequate information. now let us consider that topic taken care of," she made another note in her book. "i wish to see your habitat. if you could guide me i'd greatly appreciate it."

well okay i thought. maybe this was a chance to redeem myself!

so off we went on a grand tour of my humble jungle like home. the whole while agent hamilton happily wrote down notes in her book... wonder what it says about me?

after the grand 10 minute tour and returning to where we'd started agent hamilton had a few questions.

"so that constitutes your whole range?" she asked.

"what?" i was confused. "i don't have a range. i'm a close proximity predator. constitution? i'm really not following you agent hamilton?"

she paused for a moment. "sorry mr. tyrannosaur. i forgot about your unique cerebral characteristics," she'd lost me again... "was everything you showed me your current territory?"

"oh," i exclaimed. why didn't she just ask that? still not sure what firing ranges and governments have to do with my home? "yeah that's pretty much it."

"i see," she wrote a longish bit to that one. "are you aware of the specific nature of this particular section of the garden?"

"uh maybe?" i replied unsure. i knew lots of things about it, but not "specific" things.


"as the agent in charge of your conservation mr. tyrannosaur i feel it is my duty to alert you to the hazardous nature of this dell system," agent hamilton said in a serious voice, which coming from her was really serious!

"the ghosts?!?" i interrupted. man that night had scared me.

agent hamilton raised her eyebrow. "ghosts?"

i told her the details of my run in with the eerie light and voices. she made several notes in her book.

"i can't verify or comment on this disruption to your lifestyle. i'll have someone from the department look into it," i had clearly thrown her off track. "however back to the subject i was discussing before this... new detail. are you aware of this area being part of "the maze"?"

"hold up, i thought the maze was just a myth?" i tried not to show the fear in my voice. now i'm not saying i didn't believe ben when he told me that story about the dell being some sort of crazy maze that people get lost in. i was just kinda hoping he was pulling my leg or telling a tall tale...

agent hamilton suddenly went slightly stiff in her composure. "officially mr. tyrannosaur there is no evidence to confirm or deny the existence of such a maze," she suddenly drew in closer and lowered her sun glasses. "unofficially you are living in the gateway to a very dangerous patch of forest mr. tyrannosaur."

i suddenly became somewhat alarmed.

"at the same time," agent hamilton seemed to have had a thought. "now that i think about it, i am quite pleased at this choice of habitat."

what?!? how could living on the edge of a maze of doom be a good thing???

"you'll be safe from poachers and hunters in this section," she went on. "that and predators."

i was going to say something, but agent hamilton looked at me squarely. "i assure you both on and off the record this spot is probably the safest for you in dunedin. however ensure you don't wander past your current range... sorry i mean territory."

"if you say so," i hesitantly agreed.

"i do," she jotted down some notes. "i'm concluding this check up. contact me or the department if you experience any problems, and mr. tyrannosaur make sure you follow your directives from now on!"

with that agent hamilton was gone as suddenly as she had appeared...

man this changed my whole day and out look on things.

not only had i made a mess of things with DOC, but the maze i was living beside was known and feared by more then just ben... even the department of conservation was worried about it... if their scared of it then what hope do i have of not being...

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