Missing Advent

This season of Advent has been a strange one for me. There has not been much of a rhythm to the season for me this year. In many ways, I felt like I missed the season entirely.
I started out on the first Sunday in Advent in St. Louis. I was on vacation and staying with my friends' Sheri and Ian. I am always grateful for Ian and Sheri's hospitality when I visit and I always enjoy attending worship with them. While they did light the first Advent candle during the service at Sheri and Ian's church, we didn't sing any Advent hymns. It happened to be the last Sunday for their church's Director of Christian Education. The sermon and service was good but the focus really wasn't Advent it was more on giving the DCE a chance to say "goodbye". I could tell that there was a real sense of grief in the air as the congregation said "farewell" to a beloved staff member who had a wonderful ministry at this church.
On the second Sunday of Advent, I had planned to go to my church and get into the spirit of the season a bit more. I knew they would be celebrating Advent in a big way with special music and a sermon about waiting and preparing. However, I ended up going to church with my friend Karen at her church. Again, the service and music were wonderful but this church really doesn't do Advent at all. It's a church that really tries hard to reach out to the unchurched and I guess Advent is not cool with the unchurched. I never really quite got that in all of the church growth books I read but I guess this is what reaches people. How can you argue with a church with five services filled to capacity attracting thousands of people each week?
On the third Sunday of Advent, I was in South Bend for my friend Ian's dad's funeral. It was good to be back in my home town of Mishawaka and I even got to make a visit to my home church for the funeral dinner. On this weekend, I attended church with my friend Mari at her church. I have been to this church many times and I really like it. You can always hear great preaching and good music. This particular Sunday was no different. It was all great. We even got to hear a drum solo accompanying the Hallelujah Chorus. There was also a jazz singer who did some wonderful renditions of Christmas carols. However, this church does not really do Advent either. Again, it's hard to argue with multiple services that attract thousands of people. I really enjoyed it but there was nothing to really mark the season of waiting and expectation that I have come to know and love.
On the fourth Sunday of Advent, I was finally able to attend my church in Cincinnati. It was a wonderful service. The choir sang some amazing pieces. The hand bells played. The congregational singing was great and we got to sing some wonderful Christmas carols from the hymnal. However, there were no Advent hymns sung during the service. No Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus (my favorite Advent hymn) no O Come, O Come Emmanuel no People Look East Like most churches that do celebrate Advent, by the fourth Sunday of Advent my church was in full Christmas mode. While they did take the time to light the Advent Candles, we sang Joy to the World and O Come All Ye Faithful as congregational hymns. It was a wonderful service. I was grateful that the pastor did focus on the theme of waiting during Advent in his sermon. However, I also found myself feeling just slightly disappointed because I felt rushed into celebrating Christmas when I was not ready for it.
However, it hit me today that in the midst of this wonderful season, I somehow missed it. I know it's not about lighting Advent candles. I know it's not about my traditions. I know it's not about my agenda. I guess I missed it because I wasn't really paying attention to the signs all around me of God's presence and love. I did not feel a sense of hope and expectation because I chose not to embrace the hope and expectation of the season wherever I found myself.
On the first Sunday of Advent in St. Louis, I kept thinking that it was poor timing for this to be the farewell sermon and service for the Christian Education Director at Sheri and Ian's church. I thought Advent should start off on a high note that is full of expectation. However, what I failed to remember is that Jesus came into the world in God's perfect timing and that had little to do with the world's timing or plans. Jesus was born to a poor couple who couldn't even get a decent room at an inn. He came at a very inconvenient time and while some, like the shepherds rejoiced, others like King Herod were threatened by Jesus because he challenged the status quo and power structure of his day. There was even a foreshadowing of grief at his miraculous birth as the Magi brought spices used to prepare bodies for burial. Even then, his death and sacrifice seemed to be looming ahead of him.
On the second Sunday of Advent, I should have been more grateful for being able to worship with my friend Karen rather than worried about seeing people light Advent candles. Reconnecting with Karen has been a huge blessing in my life this year. It is by God's grace that our paths have been allowed to cross again. To worship with my sister in Christ was a joy and I should have really let God know that in my praise that morning. Instead, I kept hoping we would at least sing a Christmas carol.
On the third Sunday of Advent, I should have been more grateful just to worship God with my friend Mari. She is a wonderful blessing in my life and did not hesitate when I asked her at the last minute if I could stay with her in order to attend Ian's dad's funeral. While Mary and Joseph couldn't get a room, I have a friend who always has a room ready for me. I have a friend who allows me to invade her home and who offers me gracious hospitality and who loves me in spite of my weirdness. During a very busy season, Mari made time for me. It reminds me of how much I need to make time for Jesus in my life and journey. I get busy doing and I don't take the time simply to be in God's presence.
On the fourth Sunday of Advent, I felt like even the church was rushing me along to the manger. I was dragging my heals and trying to make up for what I saw as three lost weeks of Advent. However, what I also need to remember is that Christ comes into the world whether I am ready for Him or not. Jesus came, is coming, and will come into the world and my job is simply to prepare my heart as best I can. I do not know the time or the place. I am commanded to be ready at all times, in all circumstances.
So, as I reflect upon this Advent season, I am really glad it unfolded as it did. I have learned some things about myself and about my expectations of church, of worship, and of God. As much as I would like to think it's all about me, I know that it is not. I just forget that most days. I have also been reminded through this season of waiting and hope that God has surrounded me with good friends in my life who make this journey grace-filled for me. They love me and put up with me and they sometimes even put me up. They listen to me whine and help me to laugh. They feed me and play games with me and watch movies with me. They are signs of God's loving presence in my life. I don't deserve it, but in their friendship and support, I continue to experience the love and grace of Jesus. They remind me that God is real and present with me along my journey. And in the end, that's what Advent is really all about. Whether it's in a worship service, in singing a Christmas carol, or talking over a good meal with friends, Advent is a season to once again be reminded that Jesus is Emmanuel - God with us.
Thank you for being a part of my journey!

Waiting Room

The senior pastor at my church preached a wonderful Advent sermon today. He talked about how even as the culture is rushing towards Christmas, Christians are still in a waiting mode during the season of Advent and in our spiritual journeys. Advent is the season of waiting and preparing for the celebration of Christ's birth. It is also the time to remember that we await Christ's Second Coming when Christ shall return and transform the world as we know it.
My pastor talked about his experiences in waiting rooms and how journeying through Advent can be just like that. Like most pastors, he has spent many hours in hospital waiting rooms. He talked about how waiting rooms are places in which you can get your hopes only to have them dashed. There is great anticipation when a doctor or nurse enters the waiting room and looks for a family. Whenever the name is called and it's not your family's name, there is real disappointment.
Waiting rooms are also places where you meet people and talk with people whom you might not normally meet or talk with. There's something about the waiting period that can cause people to share things about their lives and families that they wouldn't otherwise share. People journey together in waiting rooms with hopes and fears. They share stories. They cry. They find both peace and anxiety. You just never know what may happen or what news you may hear.
Waiting rooms are also places that most of us don't want to be. I can't imagine that too many people ever just hang out in the waiting room of a doctor's office or hospital just for the fun of it. Even for chaplains who feel called to minister to people who find themselves in waiting rooms, they understand that this is not a place that the family and friends of the person in the hospital are not there because they had nothing better to do. They are there because they are waiting for news.
I remember when I was taking a class chaplaincy class at the University of Tennessee Medical Center, most often I was called to the waiting room of the hospital because the doctor had to give a family bad news that their loved one had died. Waiting rooms were not usually a place to which I wanted to be summoned. They were often places where tears were shed and grief was expressed.
I guess that's why so many of us like to skip right to Christmas rather than live through Advent. We like the happy story of the cute baby in the manger. We don't really have time to listen to prophets tell us things we don't want to hear or think about the Second Coming at which we will be judged. That just doesn't sound pleasant to me. I'd rather sing Christmas carols and give gifts. I don't really have time to wait. Life seems too short.
This is precisely the reason that I needed to hear this sermon about waiting today. I need to realize that I am in this waiting room of life and I need to make the best of my time here. I need to learn what I can from others who are waiting. I need to prepare and get ready for whatever news will be shared. I need to remember that God moves in God's time and that has nothing to do with my schedule or agenda.
So, as we journey through this last week of Advent, I invite you to join me in the waiting room. I could certainly use the company. Hopefully we can learn something together as we wait and hope for the Good News of Christ's birth.
Thanks for waiting with me and for being a part of my journey!