Another Movie and a Little Bit of History

I wrote yesterday that I had gone to see the movie Drive. Well, the more I thought about the movie, I just felt depressed. As I said in my post yesterday, the acting was good but the depressing story and the violence were a bit overwhelming for me. So, I decided to really splurge and go see another movie today. I don't know if I have ever seen two movies in the theater on one weekend. That's amazing since I really love movies but even at the height of my movie going experiences, I have kept it to one per week. But, I figured there was not law against it so I headed to the theater I really like in West Chester, Ohio.
The contrast in theaters was amazing from Saturday to today. The stadium seating is awesome and I don't know how the world rotated without it. The sound was so much better. Even the bathrooms were much cleaner at the West Chester theater.
I decided to go to the Steven Soderberg movie Contagion. I had heard that it was really good and I always love a Soderberg movie. I did realize that it was about a pandemic disease, but I didn't realize what it all entailed. I knew it was a thriller and it certainly lived up to that. I've always appreciated the movie Outbreak and in many ways Contagion is much better. However, it is also much more dark. I was also reminded of the first part of Stephen King's The Stand in which much of the population is wiped out by a super flu.
The cast of characters is great and almost too numerous to keep track of. Gweneth Paltrow is the first one who gets the disease and dies. Spreading from Gweneth, the virus begins spreading all around the world. We get to see how it impacts her family including her husband Matt Damon who seems to be immune but struggles to exist in a world turned upside down in the wake of the epidemic.
The part I hated about the movie was the part that played on my natural tendency to fear germs of all kinds. I'm the one at my office with a huge bottle of hand sanitizer and I often want to quarantine myself whenever my co-workers start coughing. In fact, when I used the restroom at the theater after the movie, there was a little boy coughing in men's room who I was sure was going to give me some horrid disease because he didn't wash his hands properly. I even cringed when I had to grab the men's room door handle to leave and it was all wet and slimy. Thank heavens I had hand sanitizer in my car.
So I'm not sure my movie choices this weekend were the best for me. Driver was depressing and violent. Contagion didn't do much to lift my spirits with its depiction of a deadly disease and a reminder of how really paranoid I am about germs. I had thought about going to see the Lion King in 3-D but talk about a movie that would have played on my fears of disease and germs. I know the theater would have been full of children with colds and who knows what else. I hope the theater employees are hosing those theaters down with bleach and scraping all the boogers off the arm rests. Yuck!
After the movie, I decided to go for a little drive. After my weekend with my friend Mari in which we saw some historic sites along the Ohio River, I have decided that I am going to get out and explore the region more. I also have been inspired by a blog that I follow in which the blogger is doing a thirty day photo challenge. So, I dusted off my digital camera and hit the road this afternoon.
I had read on the Internet that President William Henry Harrison was buried in North Bend, Ohio along the Ohio River. So, I got directions and decided to go and check in on President Harrison.
I have particular interest in President Harrison because he was the first Governor of the the Indiana Territory. Indiana being my home state, I always like to learn about its history and the people who led it. I also have a huge fascination with learning about the Presidents of the United States. I learn much about the history of our country and about evolving American culture by studying the presidents.
Visiting Harrison's tomb was interesting. I missed one of the signs and got a little lost. My GPS was really confused. I had to back track a little bit but finally found it. When I looked at the map, I thought Harrison's tomb on Mount Nebo was right along the banks of the Ohio River, but that's not quite accurate. There's a nice vista of the River (it would be better if they would remove the power lines and cell phone towers) but it's not right on the river. In fact, it's kind of hidden. There's not really too much to see. A few years ago the state of Ohio put in an interpretive kiosk pavilion. This includes a biography of President Harrison and also information about his times and achievements.
In case you want to know more about President Harrison, here's a brief bio from Wikipedia:

William Henry Harrison (February 9, 1773 – April 4, 1841) was the ninth President of the United States (1841), an American military officer and politician, and the first president to die in office. The oldest president elected until Ronald Reagan in 1980, and last President to be born before the United States Declaration of Independence, Harrison died on his 32nd day in office[1] of complications from pneumonia, serving the shortest tenure in United States presidential history. His death sparked a brief constitutional crisis, but that crisis ultimately resolved many questions about presidential succession left unanswered by the Constitution until passage of the 25th Amendment.

Before election as president, Harrison served as the first territorial congressional delegate from the Northwest Territory, governor of the Indiana Territory and later as a U.S. representative and senator from Ohio. He originally gained national fame for leading U.S. forces against American Indians at the Battle of Tippecanoe in 1811, where he earned the nickname "Tippecanoe" (or "Old Tippecanoe"). As a general in the subsequent War of 1812, his most notable contribution was a victory at the Battle of the Thames in 1813, which brought an end to hostilities in his region.
After the war, Harrison moved to Ohio, where he was elected to the United States Congress, and in 1824 he became a member of the Senate. There he served a truncated term before being appointed as Minister Plenipotentiary to Colombia in May 1828. In Colombia, he spoke with Simon Bolivar about the finer points of democracy before returning to his farm in Ohio, where he lived in relative retirement until he was nominated for the presidency in 1836. Defeated, he retired again to his farm before being elected president in 1840.

The monument over the tomb is a tall tower structure made of limestone. One website described it as an obelisk. I thought obelisks were pointed at the top but maybe this can also be considered an obelisk. I'm not sure about that. The tower or obelisk is carved with biographical information about President Harrison. You can actually walk into the foyer of the tomb and view the actual crypt. This freaked me out a bit because I'm claustrophobic. I couldn't make it inside an Egyptian pyramid because the passage way to the interior was so cramped. Entrance around the actual tomb is made of marble and carved with the name "Harrison" on the lintel. There is even a guest book you can sign. I didn't. I just snapped a few photos and got out of the cramped, low-ceiling tomb.
I think I was most impressed by the entrance limestone carvings at the bottom of the hill that define the beginning of the path that leads up to the tomb. There are two curved limestone benches that look like no one has ever sat on. There are two columns also made of limestone. On top of each column is an eagle. I think they were the most beautiful part of the entire of the tomb complex. I got some good photos of the eagles. I even got some with the big American flag and Ohio flag in the background. (see one below)

It was a beautiful sunny day. The temperature was just perfect for me. The humidity was low. I am glad that I decided to go exploring. It reminded me again of how much I enjoy history and how much I like to explore new places - especially sites that are off the beaten path.
I've included some photos along with this post of President Harrison's tomb. I hope you enjoy them.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Lots of Meetings

Last week and this week have been filled with lots of meetings for me in my work with Habitat for Humanity. Several of these meetings have been really good and exciting for me to attending. I especially enjoy the meetings I have with our Partner Families. I had one of those today and it was a delight to spend time with this Partner Family and to get to know them better. While I do wish that the church where we met for today's meeting would have had air conditioning, I was still grateful for the opportunity to be with this Partner Family.
At the same time, all of these meetings in and out of the office have meant that the stack of paperwork on my desk is a mile high. I have some new applications to process. I also have some other applications to review to see if they will move forward in the process. In addition, I need to work on some family recruitment things that really need to get done. So, I stayed late tonight at the office to try to get some paperwork done but didn't seem to get very far.
I know. I'm whining. I guess I'm just tired and need to go to bed. I am grateful for all of these meetings and all of the applications that are coming in. I am also grateful to have a job that I love that allows me to make a difference in the lives of families living in poverty. So, I guess I am tired and feel overwhelmed but deep down I am know that I am blessed to have this wonderful opportunity to serve God and people.
Thanks for listening to my whining and thanks for being a part of my journey!

My Life Feels So Disorganized

My life feels so disorganized, Holy Spirit. It seems as if everything around me is piling up. It’s not just the drawers that need reorganizing, the kitchen that needs cleaning, or the heap of stuff in the garage that needs sorting—it’s everything:



my daily schedule crammed full of tasks,


my house crying out for a major cleaning


my office with the overflowing in box and stacks of junk—


even my relationships are disorganized.


I feel disjointed, out of control, out of touch.


Bring order into my life. Help me sort through all the things around me.


Help me see what needs to be kept,


what needs to be thrown away,


and what needs to be changed. . . .


O Holy Spirit, even as I say this, I feel fear. I know that things need to change. I know, deep in my heart, that my life’s disorganization is symptomatic of a deeper disorganization.
I need your gentle breeze to blow through my spiritual life. I need your strong wind to sort through the stacks of issues I don’t want to face. I need your quiet presence as I deal with the unspoken prayers, the unfulfilled desires, the unrecognized emotions I have hidden away.
Holy Spirit, come now, in this moment, and in the recesses of my heart, begin the process of organization. Begin to sweep out the dark corners, sift through the crammed closets, and blow through all my dark places. May you blow through my life every day. Through your power, bring order into all the chaos around me. Amen.

- Patricia Wilson, Quiet Spaces

The prayer above was a part of my e-devotional this morning. It was the perfect prayer for me to pray at the start of my day. While I don't have a garage that is full of stuff, everything else pretty much hits the mark. While I have learned some tips along the way to help myself make better use of my time, I still am not an organized person in so many ways.
This disorganization carries over into my relationships. Too often I feel like I am not a very faithful friend, son, brother, uncle, co-worker, or church member. I coast a lot and allow others to carry my relationships too much. I tell myself I don't have the time or resources or some other lame excuse. The truth is, I get lazy and I don't want to make the kinds of accommodations that being in relationship means for me.
There is no relationship that this is more true than in my relationship with God. I am pretty much a weasel when it comes to my relationship with God. I don't want to be inconvenienced or have to go out of my way to live out my faith. I want to always take the easy path. Heaven forbid that I should really take up my cross and follow Jesus. That certainly wouldn't work into my schedule.
The good news in all of this is that God is a God of unending patience and grace. God is always a faithful Father and Friend. God is always ready to listen. God is always calling my name. God continues to call me to a kind of perfect order in my life that is centered around Jesus. In spite of my disorganization and selfish behavior and foolishness, God still loves me with a love that will never let me go. Into my chaos, God blows fresh winds of forgiveness and mercy.
Thanks be to God!
Thank you for being a part of my journey!

Day of Celebrations

Today was a day of celebrations for me. I started out the day by participating in the Wall Raising Service for the first house in our new 20 home sub-division in Oxford, Ohio. It was a wonderful celebration. This has been many years in the making. A lot of people prayed, worked with the City of Oxford, donated resources of time and money, and kept the dream alive. Today was a huge step in the journey for both TriState Habitat for Humanity's work in Oxford and for the Partner Family who helped to raise the first walls of their home.
I am so excited to see more homes built in this subdivision. However, before this happens, we will need to get more families approved as Partner Families. I continue to ask for your prayers regarding this. It is a slow process. I sometimes feel a bit overwhelmed by it all.
This afternoon I attended the wedding and reception of my boss' son. It was a nice wedding. I got to sit with some of my fellow employees and a Habitat volunteer so that made it fun.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Prayers for Tornado Survivors

I've had a really wild and crazy day. I thought I would write about the anxiety-filled chaotic day and then I read this news release from the United Methodist News Service about those communities literally ripped apart by the tornadoes.

http://www.umc.org/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=lwL4KnN1LtH&b=5259669&ct=9371889

So, instead of my usual whining, I thought I would share this article with you and invite you to join me in praying for the people impacted by these terrible storms. My anxiety and personal drama pales in comparison to what so many people across the Southern United States are going through and how we can help.
Thank you for your prayers and for being a part of my journey!

I Feel Like Quitting

I feel like quitting. No, I'm not talking about quitting my job. I feel like resigning from normal, everyday life. For it is normal, everyday life that seems to sweep in and catch me off guard and really bring me down. I was telling my friend Karen that I have had the strength to stand at someone's bedside who is dying in the hospital and offer hope and comfort and feel a sense of peace.  I seem to have the faith to endure major crises and shepherd people through very dark times in their lives; however, I can hardly stand the small inconveniences of life.
When I took the chaplain's class in Knoxville, I worked in the trauma unit in which I saw all kinds of blood, broken bones, and injuries and I was somehow able to remain fairly calm and collected. However, whenever I got lost in the hospital (which was very often) I nearly had a melt down. When I served in the local church, I felt I did some of my best ministry when there was a death and I was called to offer comfort to the family. I always seemed to have the words to say and knew when to sit and be quiet with people in their grief. However, one time I forgot my Bible at home and didn't realize it until I arrived at the funeral home. The funeral director couldn't scrounge up a Bible and I nearly had a panic attack. I hopped in the car for a high speed trip back to the parsonage. Thankfully one of the funeral home employees drove me in one of the funeral home cars. I think he drove most of the way above 80 miles per hour which only added to my anxiety.
Today was no exception. I took my car in to have a latch mechanism replaced. The sensor on the hatch door of my car kept going off and it would set my alarm off. One night it went off at about 11:30 PM. I'm sure my neighbors all loved this. So, for the past few weeks, I haven't been locking my car. Anyway, I picked my car up today from the repair shop, drove back to the office and pressed the remote lock button and nothing happened. I went into a panic. I couldn't believe that it did not work. I didn't have the time to take my car back today. I called the repair shop and the guy told me he couldn't tell me what was wrong without looking at it. I couldn't believe that he couldn't just figure it out from my description which was "It's not working." Hmm. I felt like I paid a whole bunch of money for nothing because I still couldn't lock my car. It drove home my basic belief that cars are a necessary evil and money pits. If I could live without a car I would.
Later in the day, I had another dentist appointment. I had to have a filling redone. It took only a few minutes and involved no pain because I've had a root canal on that tooth. I was under the impression that this procedure would not cost me anything because it was covered under my dental insurance. However, when I went to the check out counter, they told me I owed them money. I said that I thought that it was all covered under my insurance. They basically said that this was not routine preventative treatment and I would have to pay them money today. Uggg! I was mad at the dentist for not telling me this before I had the procedure. I was mad at the insurance company for a policies that benefit insurance company share holders and executives. I was most of all mad at myself for not reading my insurance benefits policy more closely.
After paying a bunch of money to have my car fixed and more money to have my tooth fixed, I wanted to yell out to everyone in the dentist office waiting room "Would anyone else like any money from me today? Here, just take my debit card and drain my account! Why do I need any money anyway? Take it all!" Thankfully, I kept my wits and didn't do this but it sure would have felt good to vent a bit. So, I guess it's helping to vent all of this to you through this blog.
It's the normal stuff of life that puts me over the edge. I don't know why. It doesn't make sense. It's the way I'm wired. I hate this about myself. It exhausts me. I have made some slight changes and I feel like I'm not as bad as I once was but it feels like I haven't made much progress at all. I pray for God's help with this and I still live with anxiety about stupid stuff. I remember Jesus' words to consider the lilies of the field and the birds and trust in God in all things. However, most days I fail miserably at this. Today was no exception.
I'm tired from the day's events and I am not long from bed. I feel like quitting but I guess I'll rest tonight and give it another try tomorrow. The good news is that tomorrow is a new day and another chance to be faithful to the God Who loves me and sustains me and will never let me go.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

The Best Medicine

I love to laugh. I believe that laughter is a sign of God's grace in my life. If it were not for laughing, I'm not sure I could have made it this far in life. All I have to do is look in the mirror and I know for a fact that God has a sense of humor.
Tonight I laughed really hard. I attended writing class and it was just what I needed in my life right now. I had a really hard week and didn't get all of my homework done. I thought about not going to class because I just wanted to go home and sleep. I have been really stressed out and it all seemed to come to a head this afternoon.
I am so glad that I decided to attend class. This is such a wonderful group of people. We really seemed to gel tonight. We got to laughing and it was contagious. It was wonderful. I was laughing so hard I was in tears. It was a healing time for me. It was by God's grace that I was led to this class at this place at this time.
God is so good to me. Through the gift of laughter God raised me up and allowed me to experience joy and peace. Thanks be to God!
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Answered Prayers

Today was a day of answered prayers for me. I had a dentist appointment and I was really nervous about it. I lost a crown about two weeks ago and I was afraid that they were not going to be able to get it back on. It looked like the tooth underneath was really messed up. However, they were able to glue it right back on. The dentist didn't even seem to hesitate. I said that I was worried they were going to have to pull the old tooth out and the hygienist just chuckled at me.
I was also worried about how much all of this was going to cost. However, I have new dental insurance and it was all covered under my insurance plan. So, I didn't have to pay a thing. That was a huge blessing because my budget is really tight this month.
I had a wonderful writing class tonight. I feel like I have really gotten to know some of the people in the class and it have enjoyed seeing how their writing is progressing. We laughed a lot tonight and were able to share ideas and give good feedback to one another.
I am so grateful for this day and for the many ways - seen and unseen - that God blesses me and answers my prayers.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

An Evening with Cameron

I'm sitting for my nephew Cameron this evening. I thought we might be watching episodes of iCarly but instead he has a new game for his XBox called Kinect. It makes it so you can play more active games like the Wii games. However, you don't have to hold a controller in your hand. Somehow it shoots lasers or something at you and senses your movement. Then the avatar on the screen moves as you do. It's really something to see. Of course I felt a bit like I was being checked out in a grocery store scanner. The wildest thing is that it takes photos of you while you are playing the game and then flashes them up on the screen when the game is over. Usually it's a photo of you waving your hands or crouching down in some strange position. I was not very good at it. Cameron yelled at me the whole time and told me that I wasn't really trying very hard.
I was thankful that his friend Sam came over to the house and played with him for most of the evening. If had to play Kinect the whole time I would probably need to be hospitalized. However, I almost did have to be hospitalized when we went to McDonald's for dinner. I knew that's where Cameron and Sam would want to go. I should have realized that on a Saturday night the play area would be filled with screaming children and it was. I just sat there in a daze wondering how many bacteria I was picking up by just being in the room. I also wondered when the last time several of the children had washed their hands. They looked sticky and several of them were coughing.
All in all, it's been a good evening. Cameron is quieting down now since his friend Sam went home. He wants to try to stay up until his parents come home. We'll see how that goes. He does not want to seem to want to take a shower. I guess that's normal for a seven year old boy.
My friend Karen and I got back into our walking groove today. We only walked five miles but it was okay. I was worried about being tired and out of shape. I did fine. I think we will try to walk thirteen miles next Saturday.
I hope you are having a great weekend. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Wild and Crazy Day

Today was my first day back to work after being sick all weekend. I am coughing a lot but feeling better. I'm going to keep up my medication because I certainly don't want to relapse. I've had pneumonia before and it is not fun.
I am really tired and ready for bed. It was a crazy day. I started out the day getting ready for our first session of our budget and finance classes for our Partner Families. This soon spiraled out of control into a saga of confusion and chaos. I called the place where we were having the meetings. It's some sort of civic center. A volunteer reserved the room for us several weeks ago. However, when I called the civic center to confirm the room reservation, they had no record of our reservation and all their rooms were booked by other groups. I needed to be off to a meeting in the city of Hamilton but I called our volunteer in a panic and asked her to make a few calls to see if there was another place we could meet. I stepped out of my meeting a couple of times to see if she had made any progress. Nothing was happening. I had twelve people signed up for the classes and no place to meet. We tried churches, the library, and other places we could think of and nothing was available on such short notice. I nearly had a meltdown.
Well, evidently there was some kind of miscommunication and we did have a room reserved. It's just that the person I talked to isn't in charge of the area where our room was in the building. It was a different person. Also, these two people in charge of reserving rooms in this same building do not communicate with one another in any way. This seems stupid and inefficient to me but I guess it's their system. Anyway, the meeting went fine. I got lost finding the building. My GPS had no idea where it was and sent me down a road the wrong way.
I am really tired and got nothing accomplished today and my work is piling up to the ceiling. I'm so tired of blowing my nose and coughing that I can hardly stand it. I am supposed to meet one-on-one with our new Executive Director tomorrow and I'm afraid I might breakdown in tears. So, I guess I need to head to bed.
Thanks for listening to me whine. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

An Even Better Day of Learning

I am so grateful for the opportunity to attend the national Habitat for Humanity conference. Today was even better than today for me. Yesterday, I picked up a few new things and found affirmation in what we are already doing in our family services program at TriState Habitat for Humanity. Today I learned a whole bunch of new stuff. I found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed as I tried to take it all in. I'm glad that I can go on the Habitat website for staff and volunteers to find all of the information that has been presented.
One of the best workshops was on diversity in family selection. I realize now that this is an area that we really need to work on at TriState Habitat for Humanity. Our diversity has been very limited and we need to reach out to families in communities that we are not reaching. I'm not sure how this is going to happen but I am determined to figure it out. It feels a bit daunting, but I know that there are families who are in need of safe, decent, affordable housing. I know that I am going to have to overcome some of my own prejudices and assumptions in order for this to happen. I am really going to need God's help in this.
We have one more session tomorrow and then we are headed home. I ask for your prayers for safe travel home. I also ask your prayers for wisdom and endurance as I work to implement what I've learned in my work with TriState Habitat for Humanity.
Thanks for your prayers and for being a part of my journey!

Breath Prayers

Breath prayers are a modern adaptation of the ancient prayer of the heart. We create them to express our deepest needs. They help us keep God in the foreground amidst our daily living and clarify our relationship with the holy. most breath prayers are six to eight syllables and fit easily into one inhale and exhale. Some examples are “Help me rest; give me peace,” “Make clear my way, O Holy One,” “Out of darkness, into light,” or “Fill me, Spirit, with your love.”

- Jane E. Vennard, The Breath Prayer

The above quote was a part of one of my e-devotionals this past week. I was first introduced to the practice of breath prayers when I was in college at the Wesley Foundation campus ministry at Ball State. I remember when the Campus Minister shared this practice with us, I thought it was a little weird at first. It was certainly outside my very traditional understanding of prayer. Prayer for me had always been something I did in worship and before bedtime. I prayed in a certain way and often used the same words.
While I thought it was strange, I gave it a try and found it a power tool in my own spiritual growth. I love the simplicity of it. I love the idea of breathing in and out my prayers to God. It was freeing for me as a college student and for one who was just beginning to really take seriously my own sense of calling to ministry.
I often use the breath prayer now to focus me. It helps me to center my heart and to listen. With each breath I feel more connected to the One who created the air that I breathe and the lungs that fill my body with life-giving oxygen. The practice also reminds me of Jesus breathing the Holy Spirit upon the disciples after his resurrection. Breath prayers have been a wonderful gift to me during times of stress and anxiety when I did not know what to pray. I find renewal and peace with each breath.
If you've never tried it, I encourage you to give breath prayers a try. It may just open a whole new door in your relationship with the One Who loves you.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Six Mile Day

Today my friend Karen and I walked six miles in preparation for walking the Flying Pig half-marathon. I must say that I really felt a sense of accomplishment when we were done. I also felt really tired. I don't know that I have walked six miles in quite some time. My body ached a bit. I came home and have not done much except laundry. I took a nice nap this afternoon. This seems to be my regular Saturday routine now.
Each day, I can feel myself getting more and more prepared for walking the half-marathon. I get a little anxious about it. I am wondering if I am going to reach a point at which I get too tired and can't go on.
The good news is that I now know I can walk six miles without too much trouble. This has been a very good discipline for me. My walking seems to be impacting me both physically and spiritually. As I walk, I experience renewal. I also experience wonderful conversation with my friend Karen whenever we are able to walk together. I also like walking by myself. It gives me time to think and reflect and renews my mind and body. This gives me time to talk and listen to God.
I don't know how actually to explain it, but God seems to be doing a new thing in me through all of this. My walking has been a wonderful gift.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Dead Battery

It got really cold here in the Cincinnati area over night. Most of the schools in the area were cancelled for a second day in a row. I didn't pay that much attention to the weather last night before going to bed. They said the temperature was going to drop and I was just glad it wasn't one of my days to walk. Well, when I woke up it was 8 degrees and with the windchill it felt even colder.
I went through my morning routine and bundled up to head out to my car. I got in my car to start it up and it wouldn't start. It kind of groaned and then nothing else happened. I called my Dad to ask him advice on what I should do. When it comes to cars, I am clueless.
I called my friend Karen who graciously came to my apartment and picked me up and took me to work. She was a real blessing to me. She also ran me to the bank at lunch time. (Today was pay day for us.) Then she dropped me off back at home at the end of the day.
After work, my brother-in-law Rob and nephew Cameron came over to my apartment and Rob jumped my car. We got it started and then I drove it to the car repair shop. Thankfully they were able to get my car in to take a look at it right away. Rob waited while they did the repairs and Cameron was very patient while they waited although I think he was bored.
They determined that I needed a new battery. They had one in stock and were able to install it right then. I was on my way in about an hour.
I have been feeling very grateful this evening for all of the ways in which God took care of me today. I really panic when something goes wrong with my car. Without transportation, I feel helpless. However, God made a way and helped me to move beyond my panic.
I was forced to reach out to others and ask for help which I don't like to do. I like to think of myself as self-sufficient. I want to be independent and live life on my own terms. But that is not how God meant for us to live. As much as I like to lead a hermit-like life, I recognized again today that I need community. I need the support of others to make it in life.
I needed the guidance that my Dad gave to me about what I should do about my car. I needed my friend Karen to get me back and forth to work and the bank. I needed my brother-in-law Rob to come and jump my car. I needed the expertise of the mechanics at the repair shop to figure out what the problem was. I needed all of these people just to make it through this one day. I thank God that each one of them were willing to help me and remind me that I don't have to do life alone.
So, on this cold winter's night, I'm thankful for my new battery and a car that runs. I'm thankful for friends and family who love me enough to help me. I'm grateful that there are people who love to work on cars and fix things. I'm grateful for the job that I have that allows me to earn money to pay the bill for the repairs. I'm grateful for the lessons that God taught me through the dead battery.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Training

I'm still in non-official training mode for walking the Flying Pig Half-Marathon in May. While I've been walking three times a week since the beginning of the year, next week will be the official beginning of the 14 week training schedule leading up to the half-marathon.
The first week is not too hard. I start out by walking three miles on two days and then four miles on Saturday. Each week I will walk three or four miles two days a week and then Saturdays are the long days.
In looking at the schedule, the first few weeks look okay. It's when I look at week eight and it says that I have to walk eight miles on Saturday of that week that I feel a bit overwhelmed. I don't think I have ever walked eight miles all at the same time before in my life. It's weird because while I know six miles and seven miles will be hard, eight miles sounds scary to me. I am not sure if I can do it. I wonder what walking that far will feel like. I also think that if eight miles sounds like a lot, how in the world am I ever going to walk 13.1 miles?
I defintely know I can't do it on my own. I know that I need the support of my friend Karen and my sister Stacey. I know I need the encouragement of others around me.
Most of all, I know I will need God's help to do more than just get through the half-marathon. I want to not just survive or endure but to thrive. I want this to be more than just a way to get physical exercise but also I want this to be a spiritual exercise in my life. I know that as I walk, I will have the opportunity to pray and offer praise to God. Having an iPod has already made a huge difference. I have it loaded with several praise and worship songs and I catch myself singing out loud as I walk quite often.
I certainly could use your prayers as I continue in my half-marathon preparation. I know I will need the spiritual support in order to accomplish what seems like an overwhelming goal.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

First Day Back to Work

This was my first back to work after being off for about ten days. It was not as rough as I thought it might be. It did seem to take me much longer than I wanted for me to answer all of my emails and respond to voice mails. I then tried to prioritize what I needed to get done this week. I spent most of the day just trying to play catch-up. Overall it was a pretty good day. I was grateful to be back. While I liked being a sloth for a week, I also realize how much I need the routine and discipline that work brings to my life.
One of the neat things during the day was the my friend Karen made me a calendar that has the training schedule on it in preparation for walking the half-marathon. It' going to be a wonderful tool that will hopefully help me to keep on track and stay focused as I prepare myself for walking 13.1 miles. It scares me a bit when I think about it but I am determined to give it my best. I look upon doing the half-marathon as a kind of spiritual discipline and well as physical exercise. It will be good for me on so many levels.
I hope you had a good Monday. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

New Year, New Start

I believe in a God Who offers us to the chance to begin again at any time in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. We can repent and turn around from our current path and go in a new direction. So, while I don't think there is anything magical or necessarily special about changing the calendar from 2010 to 2011, for me it is another point along the journey of my life at which I can pause and think about where I've been, where I am, and where I'm going.
So, I thought I would share with you some of the things I'm hoping that will take place in my heart and life in the new year.

• I want to take better care of myself physically. I need to lose weight and be a better steward of the body with which God has blessed me. One thing that is going to help me in this endeavor is that I have signed up to walk in a half marathon in Cincinnati in May. My sister Stacey walked in the half-marathon, called the Flying Pig, last year and invited me to join her this year. I have never walked 13.1 miles all at once. I have a training schedule that will help me achieve this goal. I'd ask for your prayers as I begin preparing for this event. I'm anxious about it but I know that I will feel a great sense of accomplishment if I finish the walk.
• I want to be a better steward of my money. I have been focusing on paying down debt over the past few years. 2011 is going to be key for my debt reduction plan. I will be able to pay off some of my debts and then hope to be completely debt free in another year. Of course, there's a lot of life to live in the next year. My car will turn 10 years old in 2011. It's held up so far but I worry about having to put a lot of money into it to keep it running. I also know that there will be other unexpected expenses. I pray that I will make wise use of the resources with which God has blessed me.
• I want to continue to develop my passion for writing. I will continue writing on this blog. I also want to take the next two creative writing courses as a follow-up to the class I took this fall. I also have an idea for a longer piece that I've started to work on. I don't know exactly where it's headed but I'm really enjoying it. Writing really feeds my soul.
• I want to reach out to more families living in need through my work with Habitat for Humanity. We are getting ready to launch some new programs. I am also going to attend some training regarding these programs. I also want to work harder at recruiting new families with whom to partner. I know that there are many families living in poverty housing who may not even realize that Habitat can help them achieve their dreams of home ownership.
• I want to become more involved in my church. I want to get to know more people and offer my gifts as a way of advancing the mission and ministry of the church. I am really looking forward to seeing where God leads as I move forward in ministry and faith.

There are a lot of other things in my life on which I should probably focus, but this is where I plan to start. I know there will be times when I fail. I am notorious for procrastinating and not following through on things. I don't know if this year will be any different. However, the one thing that I can always count on is that God will be with me no matter what. Even if I don't end up accomplishing any of these goals, God will continue to love me and call me and fill my life with grace.
I hope that you have a wonderful new year full of blessings. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Waiting Room

The senior pastor at my church preached a wonderful Advent sermon today. He talked about how even as the culture is rushing towards Christmas, Christians are still in a waiting mode during the season of Advent and in our spiritual journeys. Advent is the season of waiting and preparing for the celebration of Christ's birth. It is also the time to remember that we await Christ's Second Coming when Christ shall return and transform the world as we know it.
My pastor talked about his experiences in waiting rooms and how journeying through Advent can be just like that. Like most pastors, he has spent many hours in hospital waiting rooms. He talked about how waiting rooms are places in which you can get your hopes only to have them dashed. There is great anticipation when a doctor or nurse enters the waiting room and looks for a family. Whenever the name is called and it's not your family's name, there is real disappointment.
Waiting rooms are also places where you meet people and talk with people whom you might not normally meet or talk with. There's something about the waiting period that can cause people to share things about their lives and families that they wouldn't otherwise share. People journey together in waiting rooms with hopes and fears. They share stories. They cry. They find both peace and anxiety. You just never know what may happen or what news you may hear.
Waiting rooms are also places that most of us don't want to be. I can't imagine that too many people ever just hang out in the waiting room of a doctor's office or hospital just for the fun of it. Even for chaplains who feel called to minister to people who find themselves in waiting rooms, they understand that this is not a place that the family and friends of the person in the hospital are not there because they had nothing better to do. They are there because they are waiting for news.
I remember when I was taking a class chaplaincy class at the University of Tennessee Medical Center, most often I was called to the waiting room of the hospital because the doctor had to give a family bad news that their loved one had died. Waiting rooms were not usually a place to which I wanted to be summoned. They were often places where tears were shed and grief was expressed.
I guess that's why so many of us like to skip right to Christmas rather than live through Advent. We like the happy story of the cute baby in the manger. We don't really have time to listen to prophets tell us things we don't want to hear or think about the Second Coming at which we will be judged. That just doesn't sound pleasant to me. I'd rather sing Christmas carols and give gifts. I don't really have time to wait. Life seems too short.
This is precisely the reason that I needed to hear this sermon about waiting today. I need to realize that I am in this waiting room of life and I need to make the best of my time here. I need to learn what I can from others who are waiting. I need to prepare and get ready for whatever news will be shared. I need to remember that God moves in God's time and that has nothing to do with my schedule or agenda.
So, as we journey through this last week of Advent, I invite you to join me in the waiting room. I could certainly use the company. Hopefully we can learn something together as we wait and hope for the Good News of Christ's birth.
Thanks for waiting with me and for being a part of my journey!

Writing Class Wrap-Up

Well, I finished up my creative writing class last night. It was a great evening. Each participant got to go around and read the first page of his or her short story then the class continued to finish the story silently.
I got to go first. It was a bit intimidating but I was grateful for the opportunity to begin our time together by reading the first page of my story. I have been working on this particular story for about a month now and reading it to the class out loud was like meeting an old friend for lunch. I knew the story but saying the words out loud brought it to life in a new way for me.
I received good feedback from the instructor and my classmates. I sometimes wish my classmates would have given me more feedback than they did. I think we were all afraid to be critical. I tried to be open and honest with my opinions about my fellow writers' work but I suppose I did hold back some. I am a very slow reader and I don't always have very good comprehension on the first read. I think I let this get in the way of making comments that might have been helpful to my classmates.
I shared my short story with my friend Mari over the weekend and with the Executive Director at work today. I got some positive feedback from both of them and that felt good. I still feel a bit vulnerable when I share my writing with others. I guess this is part of the process though. If you're interested, I would be glad to have you read my story and get your feedback. Just send me an email and I will send it to you.
I am seriously thinking of taking the second class in this series. It would start later in January so I still have some time to think about it. I think that it is what I need to keep moving forward with my writing. The class keeps me disciplined. It's good for me to have deadlines.
I have already started on another story. I'm not sure if it will develop into a short story or a longer form. Writing a novel overwhelms me when I think about it. There's some comfort in the short story format but I want to be open to wherever my ideas and creativity take me.
I am ever grateful to God for allowing me to take this first writing class. It was the right step at the right time for me. I feel alive in new ways when I am expressing myself through the written word. It helps me to process and reflect up my life. It helps me to share what's on my mind and engage the world through the written world. I guess that's also why I write this blog.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

One Key Chain Found

I am very pleased to say after last night's odyssey that I found a key chain that was appropriate to use for our Habitat house dedication on Saturday morning. Thanks to my friend Mari who suggested I look at a Christian book store. I went to a Christian bookstore near my office today and found several very nice key chains from which to choose.
I ended up selecting a key chain with a passage of Scripture printed on it from Jeremiah 29:11 which reads: ^"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD." I thought this was an appropriate verse and wonderful words of assurance for new home owners to reflect upon. God does indeed know the plans for each family and reaches out to bless them in powerful ways as they move from living in poverty housing to a home of their own.
I invite you to join me in praying for our house dedication tomorrow and for the family who will close next week on their new home. It's always an exciting time for each family and is a wonderful blessing for me as a staff member of Habitat for Humanity. I also know there will be times of stress for the family in the coming days as they move and try to make their new house a home. Of course there is the added stress of preparing for Christmas for this family so soon after they close. I am praying that God's peace will fill this house and this family's hearts.
Thank you for your prayers and for being a part of my journey!