News Blackout

Yesterday was another quiet day for me. It was probably too quiet. I ended up taking a long nap and then had trouble getting to sleep last night. I finally fell asleep around 1:30 AM. This was a huge problem for me when my alarm went off at 5:30 this morning so that I could meet my friend Karen to walk. I was a real zombie this morning.
I decided yesterday that I was not going to sit in front of the television yesterday watching all all of the ten year anniversary September 11 coverage. I watched little bit when I first got up in the morning and then listened to coverage on NPR on my drive to and from church. But besides that, I didn't watch much of it at all. I decided to put myself under a news blackout. It's not because I didn't think it was important to remember that horrible day in American history. It was more a way for me to say, as I did in my post yesterday, that life goes on.
I remember I was glued to the television back in 2001. I saw the image of the planes flying into the World Trade Center towers so many times, I felt numb. I heard all of the stories of survivors and all of the stories of family members of victims. I read everything I could in the news and online. Along with this, I was given the extra responsibility of trying to preach sermons in response to the terrorist attacks.
When I look back on those days and weeks following September 11, 2001, I realize that it was only by the grace of God that I was able to move through days. And this is also how I wanted to focus my heart on the tenth anniversary. I wanted to pause and give thanks for God's amazing grace in my life and along my journey since that time.
My pastor said it this way in his sermon on Sunday:

I like the way Julian of Norwich put it. Julian of Norwich lived in the fourteenth century during the Black Plague. Every day was 9/11 for her. But she had great hope that grew out of her faith as she faced the depths of the trials of her day. She wrote these lines: But all shall be well, And all shall be well, And all manner of things shall be well…He did not say, “You shall know no storms, no travails, no disease,” He said, “You shall not be overcome.”

Wow. What power. God did not say, “You shall have no storms.” God did not say, “You shall have no terrorists, you shall have no fires, you shall have no death.” God said, “You shall not be overcome.” All shall be well.
On this day, are the promises and protection of God enough for us? Are we able to say “All shall be well?” We may have to say it with a tear in our eyes. We may have to say it with a lump in our throats. We may have say to it with clenched fists. But in that whisper is eternity itself.
God’s faithful promises are our armor. Hope is in the enduring memory of God’s protection.
When the final 9/11 television special signs off for the evening, the last analysis has been offered, the last commentary spoken, and the last editorial written, I can think of no more beautiful eulogy than to say: But all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well…He did not say, “You shall know no storms, no travails, no disease,” He said, “You shall not be overcome.”

So, yesterday I napped and rested trusting that all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

A Tree Planted by the Water

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I saw this video as I was surfing the web today thinking about what I wanted to blog about on the tenth anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks. The video struck a powerful chord with me. Even in the midst of the horror that scarred our nation on that day ten years ago, life goes on. Though we felt mangled and helpless and vulnerable, God gave us the grace to experience the only thing that really matters - God's love. God was and is with us calling us to new life, forgiveness, and healing so that we might be like trees that never fail to bear fruit.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
- Jeremiah 17:7-8, NIV
 
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

More Like You

More like you, Jesus, more like you
Fill my heart with your desire
to make me more like you.

- More Like You, Scott Wesley Brown

We sang this song today in worship. We have sung it before. It's just a simple praise chorus but for some reason it really hit my heart today. I felt as if God was trying to speak to me on a deeper level through this song. As I sang the words, I found myself in a very focused prayerful state of being. I almost didn't want it to end because I felt like I was connecting with God in a very intimate way as I sang my praise to my Creator.
Now that I think about it, this is really a scary prayer to pray. Because if I'm really serious about becoming more like Jesus then I've got to really get rid of a bunch of baggage. I need to be able to love more deeply and forgive more readily. I need to be willing to do what God wants in my life and not what I want. I need to be willing to walk difficult paths and trust in God to guide me.
I'm definitely not there yet. I've made some progress but for every step forward it seems that I take about three steps backward. I ask God to make me more loving and then God always seems to put people in my path who I find it difficult to love. I ask God to give me more peace and then God seems to allow the storms of my life to flare up and I become consumed by stress and worry. I desire to be more holy so that others may look upon my life as an example and then I say or do something that is far from holy. The truth is, I mess up because I am messed up by the human condition of sin.
While it would be tempting to just throw up my hands and forget it all and wallow in my sin. I know that is not the life God wants for me. So, I boldly and humbling continue to pray "More like you, Jesus, more like you." And each time I pray this prayer, God works in some new way in my heart. God moves me to do something I wouldn't normally do. God reveals to me something that I had not seen before. God shows me again the path of holy living and promises to walk with me.
So, tonight I'm giving God thanks for this moment of prayer, song, and praise to the One Who calls me by name. I'm giving thanks to Jesus who leads me and sometimes carries me when I don't have the strength to make the journey on my own. I'm filled with gratitude for my loving God Who molds me and shapes me into a new creation. I'm blessed by a Savior who calls me to follow him and be more like him every day.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

One of Those Days

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

-John 13:34-35, NRSV

Today was one of those days. I kind of wish I would have stayed in bed. I think I would have done less damage to the world.
It started off when I got several phone calls at the office and they were all challenging in their own way. With each phone call, I found myself becoming more and more agitated. I felt myself becoming defensive and had a hard time holding my tongue. At one point, I let my sarcastic nature get the best of me and I said things I should not have said.
After one particularly difficult phone call, I began venting to my co-workers about the bad morning I was having and how much some of the people on the other end of the phone were irritating me. Then one of my co-workers reminded me that we are called to love all people including our enemies and those who frustrate us. Then another one of my co-workers said that her observation of me is that I love people whom I feel are being oppressed but not I have little use for those who are the oppressors. While I had to to agree with this statement, I really didn't want to hear this.
However, if I am really honest with myself, I simply stink at truly loving people - especially those whom I find challenging or difficult. I find it very easy to agree with the bumper sticker that I've seen several times: "Mean people suck." I don't have much use for mean people and my experience has been that most mean people don't even know that they are mean. If they do know, they don't really care.
I know that hurt people hurt people and that many of the people with whom I work make it difficult for anyone to love them. Yet, I am called to do just that. I don't want to do it but I am commanded to do it. Today I had several opportunities to show love and I failed miserably. I hate to admit this, but it's true.
Of course, the good news is that God is a God of unlimited mercy and grace. God forgives me and allows me to move forward in life in faith and hope. In many ways, I was a mean person today and failed to even try to love my enemies yet God loves me anyway.
It's this Good News that will sustain me as I put my head down on the pillow tonight. I will rest in the arms of love and forgiveness. And, if God sees fit to allow me to do so, I will awaken in the morning and begin a new day with the opportunity to love both the people I like and the people I don't like. Hopefully, I will not repeat the same mistakes tomorrow.
I hope you have a good night. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

My Life Feels So Disorganized

My life feels so disorganized, Holy Spirit. It seems as if everything around me is piling up. It’s not just the drawers that need reorganizing, the kitchen that needs cleaning, or the heap of stuff in the garage that needs sorting—it’s everything:



my daily schedule crammed full of tasks,


my house crying out for a major cleaning


my office with the overflowing in box and stacks of junk—


even my relationships are disorganized.


I feel disjointed, out of control, out of touch.


Bring order into my life. Help me sort through all the things around me.


Help me see what needs to be kept,


what needs to be thrown away,


and what needs to be changed. . . .


O Holy Spirit, even as I say this, I feel fear. I know that things need to change. I know, deep in my heart, that my life’s disorganization is symptomatic of a deeper disorganization.
I need your gentle breeze to blow through my spiritual life. I need your strong wind to sort through the stacks of issues I don’t want to face. I need your quiet presence as I deal with the unspoken prayers, the unfulfilled desires, the unrecognized emotions I have hidden away.
Holy Spirit, come now, in this moment, and in the recesses of my heart, begin the process of organization. Begin to sweep out the dark corners, sift through the crammed closets, and blow through all my dark places. May you blow through my life every day. Through your power, bring order into all the chaos around me. Amen.

- Patricia Wilson, Quiet Spaces

The prayer above was a part of my e-devotional this morning. It was the perfect prayer for me to pray at the start of my day. While I don't have a garage that is full of stuff, everything else pretty much hits the mark. While I have learned some tips along the way to help myself make better use of my time, I still am not an organized person in so many ways.
This disorganization carries over into my relationships. Too often I feel like I am not a very faithful friend, son, brother, uncle, co-worker, or church member. I coast a lot and allow others to carry my relationships too much. I tell myself I don't have the time or resources or some other lame excuse. The truth is, I get lazy and I don't want to make the kinds of accommodations that being in relationship means for me.
There is no relationship that this is more true than in my relationship with God. I am pretty much a weasel when it comes to my relationship with God. I don't want to be inconvenienced or have to go out of my way to live out my faith. I want to always take the easy path. Heaven forbid that I should really take up my cross and follow Jesus. That certainly wouldn't work into my schedule.
The good news in all of this is that God is a God of unending patience and grace. God is always a faithful Father and Friend. God is always ready to listen. God is always calling my name. God continues to call me to a kind of perfect order in my life that is centered around Jesus. In spite of my disorganization and selfish behavior and foolishness, God still loves me with a love that will never let me go. Into my chaos, God blows fresh winds of forgiveness and mercy.
Thanks be to God!
Thank you for being a part of my journey!

UMCOR

I was reading tonight on the United Methodist Committee on Relief (UMCOR) website http://www.umc.org/site/c.lwL4KnN1LtH/b.3212391/k.7769/United_Methodist_Committee_on_Relief/apps/s/link.asp
about how United Methodists are responding to the various natural disasters in our nation and around the world. It seems wherever there is need, The United Methodist Church is there making a difference in the name of Christ.
There are a lot of things for which I could criticize The United Methodist Church, but UMCOR is not one of them. When the earthquakes hit, United Methodists are there. When the flood waters rise, United Methodists are there. When tornadoes create huge paths of destruction, United Methodists are there. We feed the hungry, bring healing to the wounded, shelter the homeless, and offer comfort to the downhearted.
For all these reasons, I am grateful for The United Methodist Church. I am grateful for those of us who continue to live out the legacy of John Wesley's vision and ministry. I am grateful to be a part of a movement that has the power to transform the world in the name of Christ.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Giving and Forgiving

In worship this morning at my church we sang one of my favorite hymns: Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee. I love the words and Beethoven's music is without equal. As we were singing, we came to one of my favorite lines Thou art giving and forgiving.
I think that when I was growing up I liked this line because it seemed like a clever use of words. However, now I embrace their deep truth. God is indeed giving and forgiving. In this brief phrase is revealed much about Who God is.
God gives. Jesus tells us that God loved the world that God gave God's only Son. God's first instinct is to give. In creating all that is, God gave us all that we need. When Adam was alone, God gave him Eve. When the Hebrew people cried out under the yoke of slavery in Egypt, God gave them their freedom and a land of their own. Over and over again, God gives not because people deserve it but because giving is God's nature.
God also forgives. When the people rebelled against God and grumbled as they wandered in the desert, God forgave. When the Israelites broke God's laws and forgot who they were as God's chosen people, God sent prophets to call them back into covenant relationship. When Jesus hung on the cross, he cried out to his Father for mercy asking God to forgive his executors because they did not know what they were doing. Forgiveness is a part of God's essence.
It was good to once again be reminded again today in worship that God gives and forgives. Without what God has given me, I would have nothing. I have accomplished nothing without God's grace. I have a home, a car, a job, clothes, and this computer that I blog on because God has given them all to me.
In the same way, I would be nothing without the power of God's forgiveness. My sin is a weight that would forever sink me into death and destruction. I am broken and selfish and foolish and arrogant and judgmental and rude and gluttonous and self-centered and on and on. However, all that is forgiven in Christ Jesus. His death and resurrection have it all covered. God forgives and breathes mercy and grace into my life each and every day.
So, tonight I'm giving thanks to my God Who gives and forgives. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

O Taste and See

O taste and see that the Lord is good; happy are those who take refuge in him.

- Psalm 34:8, NRSV

I have a confession to make. I did not really feel like attending worship this morning. I overslept and then was rushing around trying to get ready to leave. I knew that I probably was going to be late and I hate being late for worship. It's ironic that for fifteen years I was usually the first one at the church and the last one to leave the building. Now, I usually fly in at the last minute. So, when I thought I was going to be late, I wanted to just go back to bed and forget the whole thing.
However, thankfully I decided to head to worship. I made it there just in time. The organist was playing the prelude as I walked in.
The sermon was great and spoke to my heart and life. The choir was awesome again today. The most powerful part of the service for me was the celebration of Holy Communion. I heard the words of the Great Thanksgiving again and with new ears. The liturgy made the reference to Psalm 34:8 - "O taste and see that the Lord is good." Then we sang the song Taste and See from The Faith We Sing hymnal supplement. It was a holy moment for me.
I am so grateful for God's grace that gave me the nudge to join my brothers and sisters in worship today. I felt renewed and empowered and ready for another week of work and ministry. Communion was truly a time for me to communion with the living God. Once again Jesus invited me to His table of love and forgiveness. It was a welcome means of grace for me to experience in my life.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Images of God

It's important to keep adding to our storehouse of names, aspects, and images of God. We tend to stick with the familiar images such as Father, Shepherd, Comforter, Christ. But what if we’re looking for the divine Comforter while the divine Challenger actually is on our case? Or we’re thinking we need the Fire of the Spirit to buck up our faltering spirits when God is trying to make the Water of grace available through our own tears? What if we’re looking for divine Light and illumination when what’s available is the divine Darkness in a “cloud of unknowing”?


- Robert Corin Morris, Wrestling with Grace: A Spirituality for the Rough Edges of Daily Life

The above quote was a part of my e-devotional today. I must say I really kind of struggled with it when I first read it. The author really challenges me to think outside the box that I like to keep God in. I often do only want God to be my Shepherd and Comforter. I don't what to hear the words of the prophets that challenge me. I don't want to be reminded of my sinful nature. I don't want God want a mysterious cloud of unknowing when I am in crisis or pain.
The Good News is that God is so much more than I can begin to wrap my brain around. God is Love, Comforter, Giver, Shepherd, Challenger, Accuser, Mystery, Light, Darkness, Truth and so much more. The real lesson for me in this devotional was to be reminded again that God is God and I am not.
I hope you are having a great weekend. I can't believe my vacation time went by so fast. It's been good but all too short. Thanks for being a part of my journey!