TGIF

Thank you God for Friday. Thank you for the end of a work week. Thank you for the privilege of having a job when so many people in America are unemployed. Thank you for having a job that brings me joy and that brings honor to your name. Thank you for work that makes a difference in people's lives.
I know that there are some days, even some days this past week, when I felt like I was just spinning my wheels. I wondered if I was really making a difference. It feels like there is so much more need out there than I or Habitat are able to address. There are so many people in TriState Habitat for Humanity's service area who will sleep tonight in some deplorable conditions. It honestly overwhelms me at times God.
Remind me that I am not Superman and my job is not to rescue everyone. You already sent a Savior to the world. My job is to trust in Him and in your unending grace. My job is to use the gifts that you have given me to serve families living in poverty in the best way that I can.
Thank you also God for a week that marked a milestone in my parents' marriage. It's hard to believe that they have been married for 47 years. When half of all marriages end in divorce, their love and relationship has endured. I'm grateful for the example of the love that my parents have displayed and lived out in their lives.
God, help me to find rest and renewal this weekend. I feel like I need to recharge my batteries. I want enjoy Sabbath time and also some play time. I hope to enjoy this wonderful region to which you have led me in some way. I don't know exactly what that means yet, but I trust that you will guide me.
God, most of all, thank you for your love that remains steadfast. You have led me to this place at this time and it has blessed me beyond anything I could have imagined. I am enjoying my work. I'm a part of one of the most gifted teams with which I've ever worked. I attend a church that inspires me and serves the city in some truly amazing ways. I have a family and friends who love me. I am filled with humble gratitude for your faithfulness in the midst of my life.
Thank you God for Friday and every day that are all gifts from you. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Pay Day

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.

- Isaiah 61:1, NIV

 
I had the privilege of participating in a house dedication in Oxford, Ohio this morning. I am always honored and humbled to be a part of these services. They are true celebrations and remind me of why I do what I do.
During the service I shared with those gathered for the dedication that while the TriState Habitat for Humanity have regular pay days every two weeks in which we get salaries for our work, witnessing a family realizing their dream of home ownership was really our pay day. Every time we get to present the keys to a soon-to-be home owner, it's worth more than any money that we might earn. Every time we get to help a family move from sub-standard housing into a safe, decent, affordable home, we are richly blessed. Every time we have the chance to see the results of the time and efforts of volunteers, donors, and staff, we are witnessing the kingdom of God becoming a reality.
So, today for me was a pay day. I got to be a witness to God at work in Oxford, Ohio. I got to see first hand the Holy Spirit moving in the life a family living in sub-standard conditions. I got to experience the joy of bringing Good News to the poor. I got to see a dream come true for a family.
For all of this and more, I am grateful to God for this work and ministry. I cannot imagine myself doing anything else. I am truly blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I am grateful for the honor of being in this place for such a time as this.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

My Life Feels So Disorganized

My life feels so disorganized, Holy Spirit. It seems as if everything around me is piling up. It’s not just the drawers that need reorganizing, the kitchen that needs cleaning, or the heap of stuff in the garage that needs sorting—it’s everything:



my daily schedule crammed full of tasks,


my house crying out for a major cleaning


my office with the overflowing in box and stacks of junk—


even my relationships are disorganized.


I feel disjointed, out of control, out of touch.


Bring order into my life. Help me sort through all the things around me.


Help me see what needs to be kept,


what needs to be thrown away,


and what needs to be changed. . . .


O Holy Spirit, even as I say this, I feel fear. I know that things need to change. I know, deep in my heart, that my life’s disorganization is symptomatic of a deeper disorganization.
I need your gentle breeze to blow through my spiritual life. I need your strong wind to sort through the stacks of issues I don’t want to face. I need your quiet presence as I deal with the unspoken prayers, the unfulfilled desires, the unrecognized emotions I have hidden away.
Holy Spirit, come now, in this moment, and in the recesses of my heart, begin the process of organization. Begin to sweep out the dark corners, sift through the crammed closets, and blow through all my dark places. May you blow through my life every day. Through your power, bring order into all the chaos around me. Amen.

- Patricia Wilson, Quiet Spaces

The prayer above was a part of my e-devotional this morning. It was the perfect prayer for me to pray at the start of my day. While I don't have a garage that is full of stuff, everything else pretty much hits the mark. While I have learned some tips along the way to help myself make better use of my time, I still am not an organized person in so many ways.
This disorganization carries over into my relationships. Too often I feel like I am not a very faithful friend, son, brother, uncle, co-worker, or church member. I coast a lot and allow others to carry my relationships too much. I tell myself I don't have the time or resources or some other lame excuse. The truth is, I get lazy and I don't want to make the kinds of accommodations that being in relationship means for me.
There is no relationship that this is more true than in my relationship with God. I am pretty much a weasel when it comes to my relationship with God. I don't want to be inconvenienced or have to go out of my way to live out my faith. I want to always take the easy path. Heaven forbid that I should really take up my cross and follow Jesus. That certainly wouldn't work into my schedule.
The good news in all of this is that God is a God of unending patience and grace. God is always a faithful Father and Friend. God is always ready to listen. God is always calling my name. God continues to call me to a kind of perfect order in my life that is centered around Jesus. In spite of my disorganization and selfish behavior and foolishness, God still loves me with a love that will never let me go. Into my chaos, God blows fresh winds of forgiveness and mercy.
Thanks be to God!
Thank you for being a part of my journey!

Busy

We are busy, each of us, and together we all of us are doing various things in our various congregations, but all that holy activity, church busyness and business, may carry and keep us far from the Holy One. If we are not careful we will be like Martha in the kitchen — doing so many things for Jesus, so we suppose, that we do not have time to be with Jesus. We will not be alert to what Jesus is already at work doing for, in, and among us — and we may wind up estranged from our brothers and sisters.

- Thomas Steagald, Shadows, Darkness, and Dawn

This e-devotional really resonated with me when I read it. I was there. I was all about church busyness and church business and I felt on many days very far from the Holy One. I don't believe that God was far from me but I feel as if I was working so hard in the name of Jesus that I didn't really have time for Jesus.
During this time I did everything I was "supposed to" do. I prayed. I read and studied the Scriptures. I had an active worship life. I fasted. I tithed. I went on spiritual retreats. I participated in a Christian accountability group. I filled my schedule with all of this stuff, yet on so many days, I felt alone and weary.
While there were a whole lot of other things going on with me during that time, one of the things that I think I didn't do enough was just spend time being with Jesus. Ironically, it was only by stepping away from all of that church work that caused me to really understand what was going on in my relationship with Jesus.
I'm still learning about what it means to just be present to Jesus. What I have come to know is that I could only have learned some of the lessons I have learned by being busy with church work. If I didn't have those experiences, I would not be able to learn about what it means to live without all of that busyness and business. I also know that in all of this, God has allowed me to grow as a person and as a Christian in some truly amazing and grace-filled ways. As challenging and confusing and frustrating as it sometimes is, I give God thanks for this path.
Thanks for being a part my journey!

Dirty Shoes

As I shared with you in a previous post, I had the honor on Saturday of participating in a wall raising service in Oxford, Ohio. This is the first house that TriState Habitat for Humanity is building in what will be a twenty home subdivision. The subdivision is called Reckford Woods named in honor of the current CEO of Habitat for Humanity Jonathan Reckford. There will be two cul-de-sacs in the subdivision: Carter Court (named after President Jimmy Carter) and Fuller Way (named after Millard Fuller, founder of Habitat for Humanity).
As a part of the wall raising service, I gave a devotional. In my devotional, I talked about the shoes I was wearing. I shared with those gathered that for the wall raising that these shoes were my wall raising service shoes. They are my old tennis shoes. I don't care if they get dirty or muddy. In fact, when I put them on last Saturday morning, there was still mud on these shoes from the last wall raising service in Northern Kentucky. I also probably had mud from an earlier wall raising service in Clermont County, Ohio.
I told the volunteers and Habitat Partner Family that they would most likely leave with mud or dirt on their shoes and that was okay. They would be taking a little bit of that site with them to where they live and work and learn and play. This is a good thing because at that moment they were standing on holy ground. Before time began, God knew that a miracle would take place on that land. God knew that people from different backgrounds and faith communities would come together for a common purpose. God knew that a family would one day have a safe, decent, affordable home in which to live on that land. By taking that dirt with them on their shoes, the volunteers, staff, and Partner Family were spreading God's holiness and grace out into the world. They were going to also carry their excitement and acts of service with them as well. That mud and dirt is a sign and symbol of God's amazing grace.
When I came home, I noticed that I had some new mud on my shoes. When I saw that mud, I gave God thanks for the miracle that I am a part of that is Habitat for Humanity. I thanked God for the chance I have every day to serve the least of these in our world. I thanked God for the lessons that our Partner Families teach me. I thanked God for the volunteers and staff who work so hard to make the dream of home ownership possible for families living in poverty. I thanked God for the nineteen other families who I have not even met yet who will one day take a step of faith to apply for our home ownership program.
I am truly blessed beyond my wildest dreams. For me, ministry does not get much better than this. I love this work - mud and all!
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

You Always Have the Poor with You

You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.

- John 12:8, NRSV

Jesus told us we would always have the poor with us (John 12:8). He didn’t eradicate poverty or heal all suffering. He could have taken care of these things, but he didn’t. God did not send Jesus to solve all our problems; Jesus came to teach us how to live with our problems. This human life is difficult, full of hardships and disappointments interlaced with occasional joys and successes. Jesus’ life and public ministry reveal how he responded to these problems: with compassion and charity.

- Christopher Maricle, The Jesus Priorities

This quote was a part of my e-devotional today. I think a lot about Jesus' words that the poor would always be with us. That thought sometimes overwhelms me and discourages me. This just doesn't seem fair. This is especially true when I think that Habitat for Humanity's mission is to eliminate poverty housing from the face of earth.
I sometimes fool myself into thinking that if I could just help the poor I work with find a decent affordable house, all of their problems will be solved. However, this is indeed foolish thinking. I know that on the day that our Partner Families sign their closing documents they are still living in poverty. They will still have many struggles ahead of them. Hopefully Habitat has given them some tools that can help them face some of those challenges as new home owners but in the end they are still living in poverty.
Some would say that what Habitat does is foolishness. We give interest-free loans to people who cannot get loans from any other organization or business. We take chances on people who everyone else has given up on. Indeed, some of them fail. There are people who do not make it. Yet, Habitat has one of the lowest foreclosure rates in the country. Even in the midst of the largest housing crisis in the history of the country, Habitat continued to build houses and take risks and make a difference in a growing number of families' lives.
I cannot begin to put into words how humble that makes me feel. I am a part of an ongoing miracle. I am a part of a movement that is transforming lives and has generational impact on families. Every day I get to go to an office to help the least of these in our society. I get to enter their lives and offer them encouragement. I walk with them as they seek to make their dream of home ownership a reality.
This is often very hard work. It can drain me emotionally. I sometimes really have a hard time when I have to send a denial letter to an applicant who does not qualify for our program. However, I keep going because I know that my work has meaning in life. I know that I am about my Father's work and will and it is this knowledge that gives me the assurance to risk serving the poor with my life.
I give God thanks and praise for this ministry to which I can give my life and with which I can share my gifts. I cannot imagine doing anything else with my life. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Breath Prayers

Breath prayers are a modern adaptation of the ancient prayer of the heart. We create them to express our deepest needs. They help us keep God in the foreground amidst our daily living and clarify our relationship with the holy. most breath prayers are six to eight syllables and fit easily into one inhale and exhale. Some examples are “Help me rest; give me peace,” “Make clear my way, O Holy One,” “Out of darkness, into light,” or “Fill me, Spirit, with your love.”

- Jane E. Vennard, The Breath Prayer

The above quote was a part of one of my e-devotionals this past week. I was first introduced to the practice of breath prayers when I was in college at the Wesley Foundation campus ministry at Ball State. I remember when the Campus Minister shared this practice with us, I thought it was a little weird at first. It was certainly outside my very traditional understanding of prayer. Prayer for me had always been something I did in worship and before bedtime. I prayed in a certain way and often used the same words.
While I thought it was strange, I gave it a try and found it a power tool in my own spiritual growth. I love the simplicity of it. I love the idea of breathing in and out my prayers to God. It was freeing for me as a college student and for one who was just beginning to really take seriously my own sense of calling to ministry.
I often use the breath prayer now to focus me. It helps me to center my heart and to listen. With each breath I feel more connected to the One who created the air that I breathe and the lungs that fill my body with life-giving oxygen. The practice also reminds me of Jesus breathing the Holy Spirit upon the disciples after his resurrection. Breath prayers have been a wonderful gift to me during times of stress and anxiety when I did not know what to pray. I find renewal and peace with each breath.
If you've never tried it, I encourage you to give breath prayers a try. It may just open a whole new door in your relationship with the One Who loves you.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

The Blessings of New Homes

I participated in two house dedication services today for Habitat Partner Families. One was in Lebanon, Ohio and the other in Florence, Kentucky. Both had similar elements and structures and yet each service also had some very distinct differences. As I drove home from Florence, Kentucky after the second service, I began to reflect on these two services and how thankful I was for the diversity of human spiritual expressions and experiences.
At the first house dedication service in Lebanon, Ohio, an Episcopal priest was on had to bless the house. When I walked in one of the bedrooms before the service, he was just putting on his liturgical robes over his long black cassock. At first I thought he was a Catholic priest until I saw the program.
During the service, the priest did a multi-part blessing of the house. He opened with a prayer of blessing. Then he invited us all to follow him outside where we all gathered on the driveway. He had incense burning and he swung it around as he began to lead us in a procession down the driveway and then up the sidewalk back inside the house. Before the procession he invited everyone to touch the doorpost of the home as they re-entered the house and at the same time say a prayer of blessing for the house and for the family who will reside there.
For me, this was a different and wonderful experience. I have never experienced a house blessing with incense or a procession. Usually most house blessings are an informal or printed prayer. However, this simple liturgical act had great meaning for me. I found myself experiencing blessing as I sought to pray for blessing upon the home and the Partner Family.
As I touched the doorpost, I remembered other doorposts that I have touched and passed through. I thought about the house on Linden Avenue in Mishawaka, Indiana in which I grew up and how many times I must have touched those doorposts. My guess is that there would be a way to still lift some of my DNA from the walls or doorposts of that home. I also thought of the various places that I have lived since I left my boyhood home. From my first dorm room at Ball State to the parsonages that I lived in during my ministry. All were places where I lived and grew in my knowledge of God. All were places that offered me shelter and blessed me even when I didn't feel very blessed. All were places in which I found rest and renewal in life. These were places in which I slept and stayed up talking late into the night with friends.
So, while both house dedications services were great in their own way. I really am grateful for the first one this morning. It renewed me and caused me to reflect. In this simple act of passing through a doorway, I found myself being blessed by the God Who walks with me and continues to prepare a home for me for all eternity.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Images of God

It's important to keep adding to our storehouse of names, aspects, and images of God. We tend to stick with the familiar images such as Father, Shepherd, Comforter, Christ. But what if we’re looking for the divine Comforter while the divine Challenger actually is on our case? Or we’re thinking we need the Fire of the Spirit to buck up our faltering spirits when God is trying to make the Water of grace available through our own tears? What if we’re looking for divine Light and illumination when what’s available is the divine Darkness in a “cloud of unknowing”?


- Robert Corin Morris, Wrestling with Grace: A Spirituality for the Rough Edges of Daily Life

The above quote was a part of my e-devotional today. I must say I really kind of struggled with it when I first read it. The author really challenges me to think outside the box that I like to keep God in. I often do only want God to be my Shepherd and Comforter. I don't what to hear the words of the prophets that challenge me. I don't want to be reminded of my sinful nature. I don't want God want a mysterious cloud of unknowing when I am in crisis or pain.
The Good News is that God is so much more than I can begin to wrap my brain around. God is Love, Comforter, Giver, Shepherd, Challenger, Accuser, Mystery, Light, Darkness, Truth and so much more. The real lesson for me in this devotional was to be reminded again that God is God and I am not.
I hope you are having a great weekend. I can't believe my vacation time went by so fast. It's been good but all too short. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

God of the Autumn

Autumn God, the planet turns
and the earth signals a change.
Open me to the transitions I need to face in my own life.
Be with me in the letting go,
the saying good-bye
to habits, relationships, and plans
that stand in your way of growing.
Deepen my trust that as I let go,
like the falling leaves,
I will always fall into your embrace. Amen.

- Larry Peacock, Openings

I love fall. I noticed yesterday when I was visiting my sister and brother-in-law's home that the leaves around their home were really starting to turn colors. One tree is already a brilliant gold color. I am looking forward to the coming weeks as the glorious colors reveal themselves and God's handiwork is on display.
I really like the prayer above that was a part of my e-devotional today. It seems to really speak to my current circumstances. I am trying to be open to the transitions going on in my life. I am trying to listen and to understand where it is that God is leading me.
I also need to let go of things. I think most difficult is the letting go of relationships that may inhibit my growth that this prayer mentions. That's a hard one for me. As an introvert I don't have huge amounts of friends and after being a pastor in local churches, I continue to keep my guard up and don't trust a whole lot of people. It's hard for me to make friends and I make it harder on myself to make friends. I certainly need to pray about letting relationships go. I've been grieving the separation from some folks who have been so dear to me in life in the past. However, maybe part of truly loving them is releasing these relationships to God. I need to trust God's guidance and movement in the midst of these relationships.
I absolutely love the image of falling into God's embrace. I want to be there. I want to experience to the depths of my soul the power and love and grace of God. It's only then will my true colors, like the brilliant beauty of fall leaves, be revealed.
I hope you are enjoying this fall season. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

As If We Had Never Done It Before

It is good to renew ourselves from time to time by closely examining the state of our souls, as if we had never done it before. For nothing tends more to the full assurance of faith than to keep ourselves by this means in humility and the exercise of all good works.

–John Wesley

 

The above quote from John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, reminds me again of what I hold so dear about the Methodist movement. Wesley was an amazing man and in so many ways a kindred spirit and fellow companion on my journey of life and faith.

Wesley was always seeking new ways to grow deeper in his love for God and for people. When most people would rather not take a good long hard look in the mirror at the state of their lives and souls, Wesley did this regularly. His covenant prayer and service called people to pause on their current path of faith and life, examine their relationships with God, renew their commitments to Christ, and seek to live more deeply for Christ in humility and service to him and the world.

For me, this is what I've been going through these past several days. It is a time for me to pause and really examine the state of my own heart and soul. It is not a crisis of faith or a time filled with doubt about God's existence or reality in my life. It is a time to shed those things that have become routine and comfortable and remind myself that I am called to take up my cross and follow Christ. It is a time to recommit myself to the work that is ahead. It is a time to remember who I am and Whose I am. It is a time to step out in faith even though I am really, really scared to do so.

So, that's where I am right now in my journey of faith and life. I am at a crossroads. I have been here before but it's never been this same crossroads. I am in a different place on my journey. This is a different time. As Wesley suggests, it is important for me to struggle in this through this time as if I ". . . had never done it before." While some of my fears and feelings of anxiety hang around me like old clothes that are too tight and I need to give away to the Goodwill, I still cling to them with a kind of nostalgic death grip. This exhausts me and causes my soul to feel weary, but it's so hard to let go.

So, while I'm still restless, I know that this restlessness is a gift. It causes me to examine myself and renew my devotion to the God of my creation. I hope and pray that on the other side of this restlessness lie "the full assurance of faith".

Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Listening

Listening is an art, a spiritual practice. … Listening speaks to one of our deepest needs, to be understood or feel understood. Yes, we might like people to agree with us, take our side, but it is a great gift when we feel that the person understands us, even if the person does not agree with us. … Listening acknowledges and honor’s the other’s uniqueness with his or her own stories and truths. We each need to tell our story, and we each need to hear the other’s story. Being listened to provides the opening we need to tell our stories, to express feelings and ideas we would otherwise be afraid to voice.

- Thomas Porter, The Spirit and Art of Conflict Transformation

The above quote was a part of my e-devotional today. One of the things that I am trying to do is be a better listener in my life. I can often hear what people are saying just fine, but I don't always listen very well. I need to worry less about how I am going to respond to what people are saying and simply listen and be present for others. I want to listen like Jesus listened. While he knew what was really on the heart of those with whom he talked, he let them say the words. He didn't say the words for them. He listened and in the listening he built relationships and was able to be fully present in that moment to whomever was speaking. I want to be that kind of listener.
I'm headed to the Smoky Mountains tomorrow for a weekend with my family. We have rented a cabin in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. I don't think I will have Internet access for the weekend. I will catch you up on Monday when I return home. I am grateful for the long weekend and some time away.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Thanks for being a part of my journey!