TGIF

Thank you God for Friday. Thank you for the end of a work week. Thank you for the privilege of having a job when so many people in America are unemployed. Thank you for having a job that brings me joy and that brings honor to your name. Thank you for work that makes a difference in people's lives.
I know that there are some days, even some days this past week, when I felt like I was just spinning my wheels. I wondered if I was really making a difference. It feels like there is so much more need out there than I or Habitat are able to address. There are so many people in TriState Habitat for Humanity's service area who will sleep tonight in some deplorable conditions. It honestly overwhelms me at times God.
Remind me that I am not Superman and my job is not to rescue everyone. You already sent a Savior to the world. My job is to trust in Him and in your unending grace. My job is to use the gifts that you have given me to serve families living in poverty in the best way that I can.
Thank you also God for a week that marked a milestone in my parents' marriage. It's hard to believe that they have been married for 47 years. When half of all marriages end in divorce, their love and relationship has endured. I'm grateful for the example of the love that my parents have displayed and lived out in their lives.
God, help me to find rest and renewal this weekend. I feel like I need to recharge my batteries. I want enjoy Sabbath time and also some play time. I hope to enjoy this wonderful region to which you have led me in some way. I don't know exactly what that means yet, but I trust that you will guide me.
God, most of all, thank you for your love that remains steadfast. You have led me to this place at this time and it has blessed me beyond anything I could have imagined. I am enjoying my work. I'm a part of one of the most gifted teams with which I've ever worked. I attend a church that inspires me and serves the city in some truly amazing ways. I have a family and friends who love me. I am filled with humble gratitude for your faithfulness in the midst of my life.
Thank you God for Friday and every day that are all gifts from you. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Happy Anniversay Mom and Dad!

I want to wish my Mom and Dad a very happy anniversary. They have been married for 47 years. We had a nice dinner together tonight. I'm grateful for their love for one another that has been an example of steadfast love in my life.
Happy anniversary Mom and Dad! I love you!

News Blackout

Yesterday was another quiet day for me. It was probably too quiet. I ended up taking a long nap and then had trouble getting to sleep last night. I finally fell asleep around 1:30 AM. This was a huge problem for me when my alarm went off at 5:30 this morning so that I could meet my friend Karen to walk. I was a real zombie this morning.
I decided yesterday that I was not going to sit in front of the television yesterday watching all all of the ten year anniversary September 11 coverage. I watched little bit when I first got up in the morning and then listened to coverage on NPR on my drive to and from church. But besides that, I didn't watch much of it at all. I decided to put myself under a news blackout. It's not because I didn't think it was important to remember that horrible day in American history. It was more a way for me to say, as I did in my post yesterday, that life goes on.
I remember I was glued to the television back in 2001. I saw the image of the planes flying into the World Trade Center towers so many times, I felt numb. I heard all of the stories of survivors and all of the stories of family members of victims. I read everything I could in the news and online. Along with this, I was given the extra responsibility of trying to preach sermons in response to the terrorist attacks.
When I look back on those days and weeks following September 11, 2001, I realize that it was only by the grace of God that I was able to move through days. And this is also how I wanted to focus my heart on the tenth anniversary. I wanted to pause and give thanks for God's amazing grace in my life and along my journey since that time.
My pastor said it this way in his sermon on Sunday:

I like the way Julian of Norwich put it. Julian of Norwich lived in the fourteenth century during the Black Plague. Every day was 9/11 for her. But she had great hope that grew out of her faith as she faced the depths of the trials of her day. She wrote these lines: But all shall be well, And all shall be well, And all manner of things shall be well…He did not say, “You shall know no storms, no travails, no disease,” He said, “You shall not be overcome.”

Wow. What power. God did not say, “You shall have no storms.” God did not say, “You shall have no terrorists, you shall have no fires, you shall have no death.” God said, “You shall not be overcome.” All shall be well.
On this day, are the promises and protection of God enough for us? Are we able to say “All shall be well?” We may have to say it with a tear in our eyes. We may have to say it with a lump in our throats. We may have say to it with clenched fists. But in that whisper is eternity itself.
God’s faithful promises are our armor. Hope is in the enduring memory of God’s protection.
When the final 9/11 television special signs off for the evening, the last analysis has been offered, the last commentary spoken, and the last editorial written, I can think of no more beautiful eulogy than to say: But all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well…He did not say, “You shall know no storms, no travails, no disease,” He said, “You shall not be overcome.”

So, yesterday I napped and rested trusting that all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

House Dedication

This evening I traveled to Batavia, Ohio in Clermont County for the house dedication for one of our Habitat Partner Families. It was a huge blessing for me to be there as it always is. This is a family of eight people that includes a mom, a dad, and six boys. I am always impressed whenever I am with this family. The boys are extremely well-mannered and a joy to be around.
What impresses me most about this family is the love and support shown by their church family. There were several of their church members in attendance at the dedication along with their pastor who led the devotion. One of their fellow church members gave a testimony about the kindness that our Habitat Partner Family had shown him when he was in need. Throughout the entire Partnership process, even when it didn't seem like it was ever going to happen, this family faced adversity with joy and great faith. They knew that God had wonderful plans for them and their new house is a living testimony to their faith and perseverance.
Everyone who participated in the house dedication did a great job and God used them to share God's love and give witness to the work of God that had been accomplished in the building of this house. It was a time to thank God for the all of the time and energy of the volunteers and gifts of the donors. It was also a time to offer prayers and praise to the God who calls us to kingdom work. I found myself tearing up several times during the service. As always, I felt honored to be a part of the miracle that is Habitat for Humanity.
I ask for your prayers for this family. We are so close to being done with their house but there are several hoops that we still need to jump through before we will be able to close. There are some construction things that still need to be done. There are also some grant applications that need to be completed. We will have to make sure all the bills are paid and the final sale cost is established. We also need to work with the attorneys so that they can prepare the closing documents.
In the meantime, this family is still living in substandard conditions in a house that too small for them. Also, the boys will be starting school in the coming weeks and in the midst of all of that transition, the family will have to think about packing and moving. So, this is certainly going to be a stressful time and one that will test their patience. Soon, though, they will be able to realize their dream.
Another family is about to move from horrible living conditions to a safe, decent, affordable home. They will sign their closing documents, receive the keys to their new home, and God will be honored. Then we will move on to give the next Partner Family a hand up out of poverty housing and the mission and ministry will continue.
Thank you for your prayers and for being a part of my journey!

Wall Blessing

This morning I attended a wall blessing service in Lebanon, Ohio for a new Habitat home that we are just starting. We normally do a wall raising service but due to weather and other circumstances with the construction process, we were not able to raise the walls today and so we decided to do a wall blessing.
Volunteers began constructing the wall this morning at 8:30 AM. At 10:00 AM, the volunteers paused their work and others gathered for the wall blessing service. There were prayers of blessing and introduction of the Partner Family. After this, everyone was invited to write something with a marker on the walls. Some people wrote prayers. Some people wrote Scripture verses. Others wrote messages to the family.
It was a neat experience that I found meaningful. To know that my words of blessing will be written on the walls of this new house for as long as it stands was a humbling thing to realize. Even though the writing will be covered up with drywall, I hope and pray that God will allow these words to be a sign and symbol of a hedge of protection and blessing for this Partner Family.
I wrote: May all who live within these walls experience the love and peace of God. May it be so.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Matt

I received word today that a man who was a part of the last congregation that I pastored in Indiana had passed away today. When I received the news, I started to cry. I received the news at the end of a particularly hard day and so I think the tears flowed more freely than they might have on another. Yet, even as I cried, I also felt a kind of deep assurance that even though this was the end of Matt's life in this life, it was not the end of Matt's eternal life.
When I first met Matt, I'm not sure he wanted much to do with me. At least that's how it seemed to me as a pastor who visited his hospital room. I was asked by a friend of Matt's wife to visit Matt in the hospital. I was always a bit uncomfortable doing this. Being the introvert that I am, I always felt weird barging into a stranger's hospital room. I was never sure if I would be welcomed or not. Some people would enjoy having me visit. Some people didn't want to have me anywhere near them. Some people would politely tolerate me. Still others would get very agitated or upset when they saw me. I guess they thought that if the pastor was coming, they were going to get bad news about their medical condition.
Matt suffered from diabetes. It was the kind of diabetes that caused Matt to eventually lose both of his legs. At the time that I first visited him, I think he had just had a surgery and was recovering in the hospital from that. Our conversation was brief and consisted of only few words.
I don't remember if I prayed with Matt at that time. This was often a confusing thing for some people to know how to respond when I asked if I could pray with them. Matt was not really a church person, so I'm certain if he did invite me to pray with him, it was not the most natural thing for him to experience. I remember thinking that if I was in Matt's position of having my body parts amputated that I'm not sure I would want to talk to God. In fact, my guess is that Matt was pretty mad at God at that time. At least that was my perception.
I remember that I visited Matt again several months later when he was in the hospital for another surgery or procedure. While he was still kind of gruff around the edges, he seemed to tolerate my visit better than the first time. I remember that our conversation was a bit longer and he seemed more cordial. I was also probably more at ease because I had met him before.
While I believe that God was at work in Matt's heart and life through all of his health problems, I'm not sure that Matt realized this and I'm not sure I really could see it happening. I think I was going to visit Matt out of a sense of obligation to Matt's wife's friend who was one of my congregation members. I still felt uncomfortable doing it and I think Matt was uncomfortable having me visit.
Several more months later, I visited Matt again in the hospital. He had fallen and broken a bone in his leg. This was not good. I think the doctors were trying to figure out a way to save his leg. During this visit Matt seemed both discouraged and more open to my visit. We talked more and I remember praying with him and he seemed to really appreciate it.
After this, Matt went to stay in a rehab facility for an extended period. They tried to build up his strength and help him to keep his leg. One day during this period, I had a craving for Chinese food. One of my favorite Chinese buffets was over near the rehab center where Matt was staying. After eating some wonderful Chinese food, I felt like God was nudging me to stop in and see Matt.
On this day Matt seemed really glad to see me. He smiled as we talked. His spirit seemed really light. He had a real look of peace about him. He shared that he had been attending a Bible study at the rehab center and that he was learning a lot. He had a lot of questions about the Bible and wanted to learn more. He then shared with me that he felt he was ready to accept Jesus into his heart. He asked if I would pray with him as he did that.
I was both humbled and filled with joy as I joined him in this most holy of moments in his life. When we were done praying, he said he felt a peace like he had never felt before in his life. He looked as if a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Whatever was happening with his physical body didn't seem to matter as much any more. He was truly a new creation in Christ.
After that, I got some men from the church to go with me and we would hold Bible studies in Matt's room at the rehab center. We would talk and discuss life and the Scriptures and I learned and grew as did the others who joined us. Matt always seemed eager to learn and grow in his new found faith in Christ.
When Matt got to finally go home, we moved the Bible study to his house. I remember that he lived on the other side of county from where I lived and it was quite a trek to get to his house. I would sometimes grumble about the time and energy it took to do this Bible study. However, I always felt renewed after I attended these Bible studies. Matt's willingness to learn and grow always reminded me of why we were doing what we were doing.
I realize now that those were times when I really felt like the church was at its best. We were being the church to Matt but he was also a vital part of the Body of Christ as we talked and joked and studied together. He was in ministry to and with us. This was exactly the way the church began. Those first Christians met in people's homes for study, worship, support, and fellowship. In fact, I often got more out of these home Bible studies at Matt's house than I did leading Sunday morning worship for a congregation made up of many people who were more focused on preserving irrelevant traditions than truly living as disciples of Jesus Christ. Matt was definitely Jesus to me in some deep and abiding ways that I don't think I will fully understand until I see him in heaven.
When I received the email telling me about Matt's death from my friend Mari, she quoted our friend Kathy who said about Matt's passing, “We all know where Matt is now because Kevin led him to Lord.” When I read those words, I used about three tissues as I broke down and cried some more.
I don't know how much leading I really did, but I do feel that God allowed me to get a craving for Chinese food and then led me to stop in on that most important of days in Matt's journey in this world. I do feel God was able to use me in some way to reach out to Matt and offer him the unconditional love of Jesus Christ. It was a day that forever changed Matt's heart and life. It was a day on which all the company of heaven was cheering him on and celebrating his new faith in Jesus.
As I write this blog entry, I am filled with a sense of gratitude for Matt and his life that helped to change my heart and life. It was truly an honor to journey with him for the short time that I did. I know there is a big celebration going on in heaven today as Matt is welcomed into the presence of God. I can just see him running on new legs into the loving arms of Jesus as he hears the words "Well done, Matt! My good and faithful servant!"
Thank you Matt for showing me the power of God's life-changing grace! I look forward to the day when we meet again at the feet of Jesus.
I invite you to join me in praying for Matt's family as they journey through this time of grief.
Thank you for your prayers and for being a part of my journey!

Happy Father's Day!

I want to wish my Dad a very Happy Father's Day. We all went out for dinner tonight to celebrate Dad's special day.
As I drove home from the restaurant, I said a prayer of thanksgiving for my Dad. He has been a constant presence of love and support in my life. Even when I have made it difficult for others to love me, Dad never stopped doing just that. He probably has wondered along the way what the heck I was doing with my life, but he never judged and always did whatever he could to help me live out my dreams. I always knew that no matter what, I could always count on my Dad to help me.
He worked hard for many years to provide a home and a life for my family. He often worked tirelessly at odd jobs so that we could make ends meet as a family. He always seems interested in what is going on in his kid's lives. He is a good grandpa to his grandsons. He is always ready to listen and give advice when called upon to give it. He did his best to be a positive role model in my life when I was growing up.
So, today on this Father's Day, I'm full of gratitude for my Dad. I love you Dad! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Almost Finished

So the poor have hope, and injustice shuts its mouth.

- Job 5:16, NRSV

I had a meeting today in Middletown, Ohio and on my way home I stopped by Trenton, Ohio where TriState Habitat for Humanity is just finishing up a house. There was a lone volunteer working at the house and I got to talk with him for a few minutes and thank him for all of his work. I told him that I just wanted to take a peek at the house.
I then got to walk through the house. It's been a long time since I was at the house and it was amazing at how far the house has come. I walked in the front door and was just overwhelmed with the miracle that was before my eyes. While not everything is done, it's very close. The walls are all painted. The kitchen cabinets and counter tops are installed. The vinyl is installed and we are not far from installing the carpeting. I walked into every room and said a prayer of thanksgiving for all of the time, donations, and talent that had gone into this house.
This almost finished house is a sign and symbol of God's presence and movement in the world. It is a sign of the kingdom of God in our midst. It is one tangible way that God is busy turning the world upside down. Soon a family will be living in this house. They will move from substandard conditions to a safe, decent, affordable home in which to live. They will also begin to pay it forward with each mortgage payment they make. That money will be used to help TriState Habitat for Humanity build new homes for other families.
As I got back in my car to head home, I paused to thank God for the gift to the world that is Habitat for Humanity. I thank God for the honor and privilege of working with families in need. I thank God for being able to serve and live out the love of God every day at work.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

My Life Feels So Disorganized

My life feels so disorganized, Holy Spirit. It seems as if everything around me is piling up. It’s not just the drawers that need reorganizing, the kitchen that needs cleaning, or the heap of stuff in the garage that needs sorting—it’s everything:



my daily schedule crammed full of tasks,


my house crying out for a major cleaning


my office with the overflowing in box and stacks of junk—


even my relationships are disorganized.


I feel disjointed, out of control, out of touch.


Bring order into my life. Help me sort through all the things around me.


Help me see what needs to be kept,


what needs to be thrown away,


and what needs to be changed. . . .


O Holy Spirit, even as I say this, I feel fear. I know that things need to change. I know, deep in my heart, that my life’s disorganization is symptomatic of a deeper disorganization.
I need your gentle breeze to blow through my spiritual life. I need your strong wind to sort through the stacks of issues I don’t want to face. I need your quiet presence as I deal with the unspoken prayers, the unfulfilled desires, the unrecognized emotions I have hidden away.
Holy Spirit, come now, in this moment, and in the recesses of my heart, begin the process of organization. Begin to sweep out the dark corners, sift through the crammed closets, and blow through all my dark places. May you blow through my life every day. Through your power, bring order into all the chaos around me. Amen.

- Patricia Wilson, Quiet Spaces

The prayer above was a part of my e-devotional this morning. It was the perfect prayer for me to pray at the start of my day. While I don't have a garage that is full of stuff, everything else pretty much hits the mark. While I have learned some tips along the way to help myself make better use of my time, I still am not an organized person in so many ways.
This disorganization carries over into my relationships. Too often I feel like I am not a very faithful friend, son, brother, uncle, co-worker, or church member. I coast a lot and allow others to carry my relationships too much. I tell myself I don't have the time or resources or some other lame excuse. The truth is, I get lazy and I don't want to make the kinds of accommodations that being in relationship means for me.
There is no relationship that this is more true than in my relationship with God. I am pretty much a weasel when it comes to my relationship with God. I don't want to be inconvenienced or have to go out of my way to live out my faith. I want to always take the easy path. Heaven forbid that I should really take up my cross and follow Jesus. That certainly wouldn't work into my schedule.
The good news in all of this is that God is a God of unending patience and grace. God is always a faithful Father and Friend. God is always ready to listen. God is always calling my name. God continues to call me to a kind of perfect order in my life that is centered around Jesus. In spite of my disorganization and selfish behavior and foolishness, God still loves me with a love that will never let me go. Into my chaos, God blows fresh winds of forgiveness and mercy.
Thanks be to God!
Thank you for being a part of my journey!

A Wonderful Ministry

I attended a meeting today with the Director of Living Waters Ministry in Hamilton, Ohio. We met to talk about ways in which TriState Habitat for Humanity and Living Waters Ministry might collaborate to serve the people of Hamilton. I left the meeting feeling excited by the work that was already being done by Living Waters and how Habitat might come along side them and serve some of their current clients through our home ownership program and possibly through the new Neighborhood Revitalization Initiative that Habitat is helping to launch.
While the task before us seemed a bit daunting, I also felt much hope as I learned more about what Living Waters Ministry is already doing to make a huge different in the lives of the poor in Hamilton. I felt proud of my denomination to know that Living Waters was founded in 1999 by United Methodist Churches. Living Waters offers free programs for children such as recreation, academic enrichment, mentoring, nutrition, fitness, field trips, and service opportunities. They also help refer clients who need medical care, food, clothing, housing, utilities assistance, legal advice, translation services, job training, and transportation. Living Waters coordinates a community garden and teaches children and youth about gardening, food preparation, and nutrition. They sponsor a Christmas store, health fairs, and summer block parties.
Living Waters has also recently renovated a former public school building and they preparing to expand their work to that site. By the time I was done hearing about what they do and what they plan to do, I felt like I needed a nap. I could sense the great passion for serving as many people as they could all in the name of Jesus. They are doing much and realize that this is just the tip of iceberg.
I am grateful for what God is doing through Living Waters Ministry. I am grateful for my time of learning and listening today. I am grateful for people who had a vision to begin this ministry and their willingness to follow through to make that vision a reality. I am grateful that all of this is being done in the name of Jesus to help heal a broken world.
If you want to learn more about this amazing ministry, you can check out their website http://www.hamilton-living-water-ministry.org/
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Giving and Forgiving

In worship this morning at my church we sang one of my favorite hymns: Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee. I love the words and Beethoven's music is without equal. As we were singing, we came to one of my favorite lines Thou art giving and forgiving.
I think that when I was growing up I liked this line because it seemed like a clever use of words. However, now I embrace their deep truth. God is indeed giving and forgiving. In this brief phrase is revealed much about Who God is.
God gives. Jesus tells us that God loved the world that God gave God's only Son. God's first instinct is to give. In creating all that is, God gave us all that we need. When Adam was alone, God gave him Eve. When the Hebrew people cried out under the yoke of slavery in Egypt, God gave them their freedom and a land of their own. Over and over again, God gives not because people deserve it but because giving is God's nature.
God also forgives. When the people rebelled against God and grumbled as they wandered in the desert, God forgave. When the Israelites broke God's laws and forgot who they were as God's chosen people, God sent prophets to call them back into covenant relationship. When Jesus hung on the cross, he cried out to his Father for mercy asking God to forgive his executors because they did not know what they were doing. Forgiveness is a part of God's essence.
It was good to once again be reminded again today in worship that God gives and forgives. Without what God has given me, I would have nothing. I have accomplished nothing without God's grace. I have a home, a car, a job, clothes, and this computer that I blog on because God has given them all to me.
In the same way, I would be nothing without the power of God's forgiveness. My sin is a weight that would forever sink me into death and destruction. I am broken and selfish and foolish and arrogant and judgmental and rude and gluttonous and self-centered and on and on. However, all that is forgiven in Christ Jesus. His death and resurrection have it all covered. God forgives and breathes mercy and grace into my life each and every day.
So, tonight I'm giving thanks to my God Who gives and forgives. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Mother's Day and Birthday Celebration

I was so glad to be back in worship at my church this morning. I was grateful to hear my pastor preach and grateful for the music. The children's choir sang along with the adult choir and they were both wonderful. We sang Love Divine, All Loves Excelling which is one of my favorite hymns. It was just a good morning to worship with my brothers and sisters in Christ.
In his sermon this morning, the pastor shared the following list of things that you would never hear your mom say:


1. "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"


2. "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"


3. "Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery"


4. "Let me smell that shirt---- Yeah, it's good for another week"


5. "Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"


6. "Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."


7. "The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."


8. "I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve"


9. "Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve"

I definitely never heard my Mom say any of these things and probably never will. Oh well, happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you!

I also want to wish my nephew Cameron a happy eighth birthday.While his birthday party this year was slightly calmer than the year we went to Chuck-E-Cheese's or Pump It Up, it was still pretty loud and very sticky. I hope that he had a great day. Happy birthday Cameron! I love you!
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

The Best Medicine

I love to laugh. I believe that laughter is a sign of God's grace in my life. If it were not for laughing, I'm not sure I could have made it this far in life. All I have to do is look in the mirror and I know for a fact that God has a sense of humor.
Tonight I laughed really hard. I attended writing class and it was just what I needed in my life right now. I had a really hard week and didn't get all of my homework done. I thought about not going to class because I just wanted to go home and sleep. I have been really stressed out and it all seemed to come to a head this afternoon.
I am so glad that I decided to attend class. This is such a wonderful group of people. We really seemed to gel tonight. We got to laughing and it was contagious. It was wonderful. I was laughing so hard I was in tears. It was a healing time for me. It was by God's grace that I was led to this class at this place at this time.
God is so good to me. Through the gift of laughter God raised me up and allowed me to experience joy and peace. Thanks be to God!
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

To Love Is to Lose

To live is to love. To love is to lose. But to lose is to live. If we lose one part of our life, we become open to another part. If we love having young children at home, when they grow up and leave home the empty space created by their leaving opens the door to love something else — like the freedom to travel or to visit with adults without interruption. When something disappears, it opens the space for something else.

Loss opens new space with regard to faith as well. When the way we understood God as a child no longer helps us navigate the swirling waters of adult life, we sometimes give up faith all together. For those who continue to immerse themselves in the stories and rituals of faith, new insights into the character of the Divine can emerge.

- Dan Moseley, Lose, Love, Live

This quote in my e-devotional really spoke to my heart today. It reminded me that what I need to be striving to do is to be a loser. This is not the kind of message that the world embraces. Instead, we are pushed to be winners often times at the expense of others who are branded as losers. However, as the author states, it's only in losing that we can truly learn how to love and live. So, today my prayer has been, "Lord, make me a loser."
I hope you find these words both challenging and comforting in your journey as they were for me. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Breath Prayers

Breath prayers are a modern adaptation of the ancient prayer of the heart. We create them to express our deepest needs. They help us keep God in the foreground amidst our daily living and clarify our relationship with the holy. most breath prayers are six to eight syllables and fit easily into one inhale and exhale. Some examples are “Help me rest; give me peace,” “Make clear my way, O Holy One,” “Out of darkness, into light,” or “Fill me, Spirit, with your love.”

- Jane E. Vennard, The Breath Prayer

The above quote was a part of one of my e-devotionals this past week. I was first introduced to the practice of breath prayers when I was in college at the Wesley Foundation campus ministry at Ball State. I remember when the Campus Minister shared this practice with us, I thought it was a little weird at first. It was certainly outside my very traditional understanding of prayer. Prayer for me had always been something I did in worship and before bedtime. I prayed in a certain way and often used the same words.
While I thought it was strange, I gave it a try and found it a power tool in my own spiritual growth. I love the simplicity of it. I love the idea of breathing in and out my prayers to God. It was freeing for me as a college student and for one who was just beginning to really take seriously my own sense of calling to ministry.
I often use the breath prayer now to focus me. It helps me to center my heart and to listen. With each breath I feel more connected to the One who created the air that I breathe and the lungs that fill my body with life-giving oxygen. The practice also reminds me of Jesus breathing the Holy Spirit upon the disciples after his resurrection. Breath prayers have been a wonderful gift to me during times of stress and anxiety when I did not know what to pray. I find renewal and peace with each breath.
If you've never tried it, I encourage you to give breath prayers a try. It may just open a whole new door in your relationship with the One Who loves you.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

A Glee-ful Valentine Treat

As usual, I really enjoyed tonight's episode of Glee once again. Loved the "Gap Attack" by the Warblers. Maybe the solution to so many dying malls is having people dancing and singing in the stores. Just a suggestion.The other song I loved hearing was P.Y.T. I still have a soft spot for Michael Jackson songs. I always love to hear Artie sing and Mike's dancing mesmorizes me.
The best part of the plot was the back and forth between Puck and Ashley. I love the introduction of Ashely's character into the mix. She is fun and oh-so-self-assured. She really has Puck wrapped around her finger. I am not liking the Finn/Rachel/Quinn/Sam love quadrangle. I wish Finn and Rachel would get back together. I really am not liking Quinn much these days.
Watching Glee was a wonderful escape for me tonight. It was a hard day at work and I was glad to get home and get lost in the music.
We got word from the TriState Habitat for Humanity El Salvador work team. They are doing well. The temperature in El Salvador has been in the 90's. They emailed a photo to us taken at the end of the first day. They look sweaty, tired, and dirty. I'm grateful for their work and committment to Habitat's mission in this way.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Missing Advent

This season of Advent has been a strange one for me. There has not been much of a rhythm to the season for me this year. In many ways, I felt like I missed the season entirely.
I started out on the first Sunday in Advent in St. Louis. I was on vacation and staying with my friends' Sheri and Ian. I am always grateful for Ian and Sheri's hospitality when I visit and I always enjoy attending worship with them. While they did light the first Advent candle during the service at Sheri and Ian's church, we didn't sing any Advent hymns. It happened to be the last Sunday for their church's Director of Christian Education. The sermon and service was good but the focus really wasn't Advent it was more on giving the DCE a chance to say "goodbye". I could tell that there was a real sense of grief in the air as the congregation said "farewell" to a beloved staff member who had a wonderful ministry at this church.
On the second Sunday of Advent, I had planned to go to my church and get into the spirit of the season a bit more. I knew they would be celebrating Advent in a big way with special music and a sermon about waiting and preparing. However, I ended up going to church with my friend Karen at her church. Again, the service and music were wonderful but this church really doesn't do Advent at all. It's a church that really tries hard to reach out to the unchurched and I guess Advent is not cool with the unchurched. I never really quite got that in all of the church growth books I read but I guess this is what reaches people. How can you argue with a church with five services filled to capacity attracting thousands of people each week?
On the third Sunday of Advent, I was in South Bend for my friend Ian's dad's funeral. It was good to be back in my home town of Mishawaka and I even got to make a visit to my home church for the funeral dinner. On this weekend, I attended church with my friend Mari at her church. I have been to this church many times and I really like it. You can always hear great preaching and good music. This particular Sunday was no different. It was all great. We even got to hear a drum solo accompanying the Hallelujah Chorus. There was also a jazz singer who did some wonderful renditions of Christmas carols. However, this church does not really do Advent either. Again, it's hard to argue with multiple services that attract thousands of people. I really enjoyed it but there was nothing to really mark the season of waiting and expectation that I have come to know and love.
On the fourth Sunday of Advent, I was finally able to attend my church in Cincinnati. It was a wonderful service. The choir sang some amazing pieces. The hand bells played. The congregational singing was great and we got to sing some wonderful Christmas carols from the hymnal. However, there were no Advent hymns sung during the service. No Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus (my favorite Advent hymn) no O Come, O Come Emmanuel no People Look East Like most churches that do celebrate Advent, by the fourth Sunday of Advent my church was in full Christmas mode. While they did take the time to light the Advent Candles, we sang Joy to the World and O Come All Ye Faithful as congregational hymns. It was a wonderful service. I was grateful that the pastor did focus on the theme of waiting during Advent in his sermon. However, I also found myself feeling just slightly disappointed because I felt rushed into celebrating Christmas when I was not ready for it.
However, it hit me today that in the midst of this wonderful season, I somehow missed it. I know it's not about lighting Advent candles. I know it's not about my traditions. I know it's not about my agenda. I guess I missed it because I wasn't really paying attention to the signs all around me of God's presence and love. I did not feel a sense of hope and expectation because I chose not to embrace the hope and expectation of the season wherever I found myself.
On the first Sunday of Advent in St. Louis, I kept thinking that it was poor timing for this to be the farewell sermon and service for the Christian Education Director at Sheri and Ian's church. I thought Advent should start off on a high note that is full of expectation. However, what I failed to remember is that Jesus came into the world in God's perfect timing and that had little to do with the world's timing or plans. Jesus was born to a poor couple who couldn't even get a decent room at an inn. He came at a very inconvenient time and while some, like the shepherds rejoiced, others like King Herod were threatened by Jesus because he challenged the status quo and power structure of his day. There was even a foreshadowing of grief at his miraculous birth as the Magi brought spices used to prepare bodies for burial. Even then, his death and sacrifice seemed to be looming ahead of him.
On the second Sunday of Advent, I should have been more grateful for being able to worship with my friend Karen rather than worried about seeing people light Advent candles. Reconnecting with Karen has been a huge blessing in my life this year. It is by God's grace that our paths have been allowed to cross again. To worship with my sister in Christ was a joy and I should have really let God know that in my praise that morning. Instead, I kept hoping we would at least sing a Christmas carol.
On the third Sunday of Advent, I should have been more grateful just to worship God with my friend Mari. She is a wonderful blessing in my life and did not hesitate when I asked her at the last minute if I could stay with her in order to attend Ian's dad's funeral. While Mary and Joseph couldn't get a room, I have a friend who always has a room ready for me. I have a friend who allows me to invade her home and who offers me gracious hospitality and who loves me in spite of my weirdness. During a very busy season, Mari made time for me. It reminds me of how much I need to make time for Jesus in my life and journey. I get busy doing and I don't take the time simply to be in God's presence.
On the fourth Sunday of Advent, I felt like even the church was rushing me along to the manger. I was dragging my heals and trying to make up for what I saw as three lost weeks of Advent. However, what I also need to remember is that Christ comes into the world whether I am ready for Him or not. Jesus came, is coming, and will come into the world and my job is simply to prepare my heart as best I can. I do not know the time or the place. I am commanded to be ready at all times, in all circumstances.
So, as I reflect upon this Advent season, I am really glad it unfolded as it did. I have learned some things about myself and about my expectations of church, of worship, and of God. As much as I would like to think it's all about me, I know that it is not. I just forget that most days. I have also been reminded through this season of waiting and hope that God has surrounded me with good friends in my life who make this journey grace-filled for me. They love me and put up with me and they sometimes even put me up. They listen to me whine and help me to laugh. They feed me and play games with me and watch movies with me. They are signs of God's loving presence in my life. I don't deserve it, but in their friendship and support, I continue to experience the love and grace of Jesus. They remind me that God is real and present with me along my journey. And in the end, that's what Advent is really all about. Whether it's in a worship service, in singing a Christmas carol, or talking over a good meal with friends, Advent is a season to once again be reminded that Jesus is Emmanuel - God with us.
Thank you for being a part of my journey!

Answered Prayers

I have been experiencing in the past several weeks the amazing power of answered prayers. While I know that God hears my prayers and has answered my prayers in the past, I still am deeply humbled when I experience prayers being answered in my life.
I certainly don't deserve to have my prayers answered. I also realize that there are many, many times that God answers my prayers and I don't recognize it. I also know that often times my prayers are answered in God's time which has little to do with my expectations and hopes. While I really like it when God's answer is "yes" to my prayers, I also know that God's answer many times is "no" to my prayers because I don't know what is really best for me or the world.
I must say that after all of these years of experiencing prayer in my life and in the lives of others, it still is a great mystery to me. I have taught classes and preached sermons about prayer. I have also read several books and, of course, been a practitioner of prayer and yet I still don't really get it. I know it's one of the primary ways in which I can stay in touch with God. I know it's vital to my relationship with God. I know that prayer has the power to change me. I know that when I am praying, my will can become more closely aligned with God's will. I also know that prayer fills me up when I am spent. Prayer calms me when I am full of anxiety. I know prayer heals me. Prayer is key to my journey of life and faith.
It's in times like these, when I experience the power of answered prayers, that I experience the depth of God's amazing love for me and the world. For this, I am ever grateful.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Images of God

It's important to keep adding to our storehouse of names, aspects, and images of God. We tend to stick with the familiar images such as Father, Shepherd, Comforter, Christ. But what if we’re looking for the divine Comforter while the divine Challenger actually is on our case? Or we’re thinking we need the Fire of the Spirit to buck up our faltering spirits when God is trying to make the Water of grace available through our own tears? What if we’re looking for divine Light and illumination when what’s available is the divine Darkness in a “cloud of unknowing”?


- Robert Corin Morris, Wrestling with Grace: A Spirituality for the Rough Edges of Daily Life

The above quote was a part of my e-devotional today. I must say I really kind of struggled with it when I first read it. The author really challenges me to think outside the box that I like to keep God in. I often do only want God to be my Shepherd and Comforter. I don't what to hear the words of the prophets that challenge me. I don't want to be reminded of my sinful nature. I don't want God want a mysterious cloud of unknowing when I am in crisis or pain.
The Good News is that God is so much more than I can begin to wrap my brain around. God is Love, Comforter, Giver, Shepherd, Challenger, Accuser, Mystery, Light, Darkness, Truth and so much more. The real lesson for me in this devotional was to be reminded again that God is God and I am not.
I hope you are having a great weekend. I can't believe my vacation time went by so fast. It's been good but all too short. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

God of the Autumn

Autumn God, the planet turns
and the earth signals a change.
Open me to the transitions I need to face in my own life.
Be with me in the letting go,
the saying good-bye
to habits, relationships, and plans
that stand in your way of growing.
Deepen my trust that as I let go,
like the falling leaves,
I will always fall into your embrace. Amen.

- Larry Peacock, Openings

I love fall. I noticed yesterday when I was visiting my sister and brother-in-law's home that the leaves around their home were really starting to turn colors. One tree is already a brilliant gold color. I am looking forward to the coming weeks as the glorious colors reveal themselves and God's handiwork is on display.
I really like the prayer above that was a part of my e-devotional today. It seems to really speak to my current circumstances. I am trying to be open to the transitions going on in my life. I am trying to listen and to understand where it is that God is leading me.
I also need to let go of things. I think most difficult is the letting go of relationships that may inhibit my growth that this prayer mentions. That's a hard one for me. As an introvert I don't have huge amounts of friends and after being a pastor in local churches, I continue to keep my guard up and don't trust a whole lot of people. It's hard for me to make friends and I make it harder on myself to make friends. I certainly need to pray about letting relationships go. I've been grieving the separation from some folks who have been so dear to me in life in the past. However, maybe part of truly loving them is releasing these relationships to God. I need to trust God's guidance and movement in the midst of these relationships.
I absolutely love the image of falling into God's embrace. I want to be there. I want to experience to the depths of my soul the power and love and grace of God. It's only then will my true colors, like the brilliant beauty of fall leaves, be revealed.
I hope you are enjoying this fall season. Thanks for being a part of my journey!