Feeling Lonely

I'm feeling kind of lonely tonight. I'm not sure what's going on with me. Sometimes it just hits me. I wonder if it's a bit of depression setting in. I got to thinking about friends who live far away. I also was thinking about fun times I had with those friends in the past. I miss being with those friends. I also miss having friends who will spontaneously jump in the car and meet me for ice cream late at night. I haven't developed those kinds of friendships yet.
It's always hard for me to make new friends when I move to a new community. I think it's one of the curses of being an introvert. It just takes longer for me to build friendships than it does for extroverts. I know it will happen but I get impatient. I know getting involved in a small group at my church will help. I also know that just being in the community longer will help me to connect with people. Right now, it's just hard.
The good news is that I know God has some wonderful people out there whose paths I have yet to cross. So, I use times like this evening when I'm feeling kind of lonely to pray for those friends whom I haven't met yet. I pray that God will connect us soon. I also pray that God will allow us to be blessed by one another's companionship in wonderful and lasting ways. I also give God thanks for friends past, present, and future. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

A Walking Advertisement

I stopped a local restaurant this evening on my way home from work to get some dinner. As I sat down at my table, a woman sitting at a table nearby said, "There's someone from Habitat." I wondered how she knew I was with Habitat for Humanity and then I realized I was wearing a shirt with the TriState Habitat for Humanity logo on it. Duh!
Anyway, I went over to the table and the woman introduced herself and her husband who was sitting with her to me. I introduced myself. We then talked for several minutes and I discovered that this couple volunteers with the Cincinnati Habitat for Humanity affiliate. They are very active construction volunteers and have been volunteering with Habitat for a number of years. In fact, they met for the first time as a single people on a Habitat job site and are now married.
After our conversation, I went back to my table and said a prayer of thanksgiving for running into these two dedicated Habitat volunteers. I was so glad that I was wearing my shirt. I am proud to be a walking advertisement for Habitat. I am passionate about our mission and the work that we do. I want the world to know the difference that Habitat is making in the TriState region, the United States, and around the world. I am so proud to be able to represent Habitat and to be able to connect with others who share my passion for bringing an end to poverty housing in the world.
I also got to thinking about how I am not always the best walking advertisement for my faith. I don't always represent Christ to the world in the most positive manner. I only need to look to my morning commute to recognize this. I am too often filled with road rage and certainly don't offer much grace to the drivers around me who I am convinced are all on the road driving stupidly just to make me mad.
I also am not the best ambassador for Christ when I remain silent in the face of the injustice I see in life. I often times would rather just not make any waves rather than stand up for what I know to be right in God's eyes. I take the easy way out by often people are led to believe that I accept the injustice that is taking place because I am silent.
So, tonight I'm giving God thanks for the opportunity I had to be a witness for the mission of Habitat. I am also praying that God will give me the courage and peace to be a more faithful witness for Jesus in the world.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

A Wonderful Evening of Writing

I just got back home from the gathering of writers. It was a reunion of folks who were in my writing class and I also invited my former boss from Habitat to join us. We had the most wonderful evening. One of the people in the group hosted us in his home. His wife treated us to a delicious dinner. I felt like I was in heaven - good food, laughter, and writing. It really doesn't get much better than that for me.
It looks like we are going to try to get together once a month. We are going to share what we've written and get feedback. I am glad to have this as a part of life. I think it will really help me to be more disciplined in my writing. Tonight really got me excited again about my novel. Hopefully I will get back in the groove.
Well, it's an early day for me tomorow so I think I'm headed to bed. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

P.S. - Thanks for your continued prayers for our family recruitment efforts at Habitat. In the past two days, we received seven more new applications. I am so excited!

A Gathering of Writers

I am really excited about tomorrow evening. Some folks from my writing class are getting together for a little reunion. Before our last class ended, we had talked about getting together once a month for mutual support and to share our writing with one another. It's taken us this long to finally do it but tomorrow night we are getting together to do some writing exercises, catch up, and share what's happening with our individual writing projects.
One of our group members is going to host the meeting at his home. He and his wife are treating us all to dinner. I have invited our former Executive Director at Habitat to join us for the gathering as well. She has been working on a book and I am anxious to hear about her progress.
I wish I could say that I have written more than I have. I have been working on my novel but have not been very disciplined. I hope that this group will help spark something within me and motivate me to write more.
It will be wonderful see these folks that I have not seen for quite some time. I know there will be a lot of laughter in the house as we meet and catch up with one another and talk about the thing that we all enjoy doing so much.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

The Daily Grind

I have felt this week like I'm living a bit in a rut. I'm not sure why. I have done some different things. On Monday evening I went with my brother-in-law Rob to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I really enjoyed it. I have had some meetings in and out of the office that are different from my regular routine. Yesterday I got to have lunch with two of my co-workers. We approved a new Habitat Partner Family on Tuesday. I have received some new applications for Habitat home ownership. Yet, with all of this I have felt like I'm in a rut.
I think the rut is not so much my daily routine with work but more in my spiritual life. I am feeling a bit distant from God. I recognize that God hasn't moved so it must be me. I am working on getting involved in a small group at my church. I think this will help. However, I wonder if there isn't something else I need to doing to nurture my spirit and relationship with God. I wish I had an answer.
The good thing is that usually when I'm feeling like this, God has lessons for me to learn if I pay attention. It feels like something is just around the bend and I need to prepare myself for whatever might be coming. While I don't know what's going to happen, I trust that God does know. It's that sense of trust that will sustain me through this time of feeling like I'm caught in the daily grind in life.
I am ever grateful for God's presence and love in my life. I am also grateful for your willingness to be a part of my journey!

Strategic Planning

I spent the afternoon in a strategic planning session for TriState Habitat for Humanity. Participants were the staff and Board members. It turned out to be a really fun session. I enjoyed our time together and I feel like God is doing some great things through the process.
The session was held at a Proctor and Gamble training facility. It was a really cool place. It's decorated in really cool colors and filled with lots of Ikea furniture. There were a lot of snacks and other refreshments. The working space includes lots of flat screen televisions, dry erase boards, tables for small group discussions, and nice office chairs. There is also a main space that includes the food area and lots of fun things to spur creativity. There was an arcade type basketball game, a Pac Man video game, computers, and colorful kites hanging from the ceiling.
I'm sure a lot of big companies have facilities like this but I had never visited one before. I'm sure this is key to developing new products and marketing ideas. I kept thinking that the church really needs to do more things like this. I think it would grant us permission to think outside the box and develop new and creative ways in which to share the love of Jesus with the world.
We did a fun activity in this area. We divided into two teams and we did a relay race. We had to make three baskets with the basketballs. Then we had to hop on over sized tricycles and ride the length of the room and back. Finally, we had to hula hoop for at least five seconds. Our team lost but it was really close.
I'm grateful to one of our Board members who facilitated the session and who works for this facility and was able to get us in to use these facilities. What a wonderful resource to be able to use. I am also grateful for the wonderfully gifted people who took time out of their busy schedules and gave up a Sunday afternoon for the mission and ministry of TriState Habitat for Humanity.
I am truly blessed to be able to serve this wonderful organization. I am grateful to God for leading me to this place at this time in my life.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

An Answer to Prayers

I am really excited this evening. I just got off the phone with someone from my church who works with the small group program. I shared earlier on this blog that I have been wanting to get more involved and have felt called to be a part of a small group. The man from my church invited me to help launch and lead a new small group.
This sounds like just the kind of ministry that I love. I also am grateful for the opportunity to get to know more people in my church. Being the introvert that I am, I have really not branched out much beyond attending worship for the past year. So, connecting to a small group will really be good for me.
I ask for your prayers as I go through the training and orientation. I also ask for your prayers for those who I have yet to meet who will be a part of my small group. I look forward to growing faith with them.
I know God is up to something good in all of this. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

An Answer to Prayer

I wrote earlier this month that I have been feeling nudged. One of the specific things that I have been praying about is my need to be involved in some kind of small group through my church. I wasn't sure I wanted to join a Sunday School class right now. I also wasn't feeling led to participate in a Disciple Bible Study at this time. I really felt like I wanted to be a part of a Christian accountability or discipleship group.
Well, on Sunday, there was an insert in my church's bulletin about all of the new classes and groups the church plans to start this fall. They listed about 25 new classes on various topics. Last on the list was a line about discipleship groups that they hope to launch. These groups would meet together for prayer, support, accountability, study, and service. This is exactly what I had been praying about. I was so grateful to see this listed and to learn that my church was going to launch these new discipleship groups this fall. It was a true answer to prayer. I signed up on the card and dropped it in the offering plate when it came around.
I am really looking forward to learning more about these new discipleship groups. I look forward to meeting the people that will be in my discipleship group. I know there are some amazing people who also feel called to be a part of a discipleship group. God will allow our paths to cross and in doing so allow us to grow and be nurtured in life and faith.
This was just another reminder of how God answers prayers. God allowed me to sense this nudging and then put the opportunity to be a part of a small group right in my path. While God gave me the free will to decide whether or not to fill out that card and drop it in the offering plate, God also paved the way for me to link up with other Christians in a safe environment that I know is going to be a wonderful next step in my journey. I am already praying for the people that God will bring together in my small group. I can't wait to meet them.
So, today I'm giving God thanks and praise for answered prayers.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Matt

I received word today that a man who was a part of the last congregation that I pastored in Indiana had passed away today. When I received the news, I started to cry. I received the news at the end of a particularly hard day and so I think the tears flowed more freely than they might have on another. Yet, even as I cried, I also felt a kind of deep assurance that even though this was the end of Matt's life in this life, it was not the end of Matt's eternal life.
When I first met Matt, I'm not sure he wanted much to do with me. At least that's how it seemed to me as a pastor who visited his hospital room. I was asked by a friend of Matt's wife to visit Matt in the hospital. I was always a bit uncomfortable doing this. Being the introvert that I am, I always felt weird barging into a stranger's hospital room. I was never sure if I would be welcomed or not. Some people would enjoy having me visit. Some people didn't want to have me anywhere near them. Some people would politely tolerate me. Still others would get very agitated or upset when they saw me. I guess they thought that if the pastor was coming, they were going to get bad news about their medical condition.
Matt suffered from diabetes. It was the kind of diabetes that caused Matt to eventually lose both of his legs. At the time that I first visited him, I think he had just had a surgery and was recovering in the hospital from that. Our conversation was brief and consisted of only few words.
I don't remember if I prayed with Matt at that time. This was often a confusing thing for some people to know how to respond when I asked if I could pray with them. Matt was not really a church person, so I'm certain if he did invite me to pray with him, it was not the most natural thing for him to experience. I remember thinking that if I was in Matt's position of having my body parts amputated that I'm not sure I would want to talk to God. In fact, my guess is that Matt was pretty mad at God at that time. At least that was my perception.
I remember that I visited Matt again several months later when he was in the hospital for another surgery or procedure. While he was still kind of gruff around the edges, he seemed to tolerate my visit better than the first time. I remember that our conversation was a bit longer and he seemed more cordial. I was also probably more at ease because I had met him before.
While I believe that God was at work in Matt's heart and life through all of his health problems, I'm not sure that Matt realized this and I'm not sure I really could see it happening. I think I was going to visit Matt out of a sense of obligation to Matt's wife's friend who was one of my congregation members. I still felt uncomfortable doing it and I think Matt was uncomfortable having me visit.
Several more months later, I visited Matt again in the hospital. He had fallen and broken a bone in his leg. This was not good. I think the doctors were trying to figure out a way to save his leg. During this visit Matt seemed both discouraged and more open to my visit. We talked more and I remember praying with him and he seemed to really appreciate it.
After this, Matt went to stay in a rehab facility for an extended period. They tried to build up his strength and help him to keep his leg. One day during this period, I had a craving for Chinese food. One of my favorite Chinese buffets was over near the rehab center where Matt was staying. After eating some wonderful Chinese food, I felt like God was nudging me to stop in and see Matt.
On this day Matt seemed really glad to see me. He smiled as we talked. His spirit seemed really light. He had a real look of peace about him. He shared that he had been attending a Bible study at the rehab center and that he was learning a lot. He had a lot of questions about the Bible and wanted to learn more. He then shared with me that he felt he was ready to accept Jesus into his heart. He asked if I would pray with him as he did that.
I was both humbled and filled with joy as I joined him in this most holy of moments in his life. When we were done praying, he said he felt a peace like he had never felt before in his life. He looked as if a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Whatever was happening with his physical body didn't seem to matter as much any more. He was truly a new creation in Christ.
After that, I got some men from the church to go with me and we would hold Bible studies in Matt's room at the rehab center. We would talk and discuss life and the Scriptures and I learned and grew as did the others who joined us. Matt always seemed eager to learn and grow in his new found faith in Christ.
When Matt got to finally go home, we moved the Bible study to his house. I remember that he lived on the other side of county from where I lived and it was quite a trek to get to his house. I would sometimes grumble about the time and energy it took to do this Bible study. However, I always felt renewed after I attended these Bible studies. Matt's willingness to learn and grow always reminded me of why we were doing what we were doing.
I realize now that those were times when I really felt like the church was at its best. We were being the church to Matt but he was also a vital part of the Body of Christ as we talked and joked and studied together. He was in ministry to and with us. This was exactly the way the church began. Those first Christians met in people's homes for study, worship, support, and fellowship. In fact, I often got more out of these home Bible studies at Matt's house than I did leading Sunday morning worship for a congregation made up of many people who were more focused on preserving irrelevant traditions than truly living as disciples of Jesus Christ. Matt was definitely Jesus to me in some deep and abiding ways that I don't think I will fully understand until I see him in heaven.
When I received the email telling me about Matt's death from my friend Mari, she quoted our friend Kathy who said about Matt's passing, “We all know where Matt is now because Kevin led him to Lord.” When I read those words, I used about three tissues as I broke down and cried some more.
I don't know how much leading I really did, but I do feel that God allowed me to get a craving for Chinese food and then led me to stop in on that most important of days in Matt's journey in this world. I do feel God was able to use me in some way to reach out to Matt and offer him the unconditional love of Jesus Christ. It was a day that forever changed Matt's heart and life. It was a day on which all the company of heaven was cheering him on and celebrating his new faith in Jesus.
As I write this blog entry, I am filled with a sense of gratitude for Matt and his life that helped to change my heart and life. It was truly an honor to journey with him for the short time that I did. I know there is a big celebration going on in heaven today as Matt is welcomed into the presence of God. I can just see him running on new legs into the loving arms of Jesus as he hears the words "Well done, Matt! My good and faithful servant!"
Thank you Matt for showing me the power of God's life-changing grace! I look forward to the day when we meet again at the feet of Jesus.
I invite you to join me in praying for Matt's family as they journey through this time of grief.
Thank you for your prayers and for being a part of my journey!

A Great Day with Friends

Yesterday I had a great time with my friends Patty and Vickie. I drove over to Brown County, Indiana where they are staying for the weekend. We had lunch together. Caught up with one another. Walked around the shops in Nashville, Indiana and then had supper together before I came back home.
It was so great to spend time with them. While I am grateful to be in Cincinnati and doing the work that I am doing with Habitat for Humanity, yesterday also made me a bit homesick for Northern Indiana and the friends that I left behind there. I feel like I need to be more intentional about getting up to Northern Indiana more often.
Yesterday also reminded me of friendships that I have allowed to grow distant in my life. There are some people who have been very important in my journey and I have not spoken to them or spent time with them in a very long time. That makes me sad. I know that's a part of life, but it's still hard for me to accept. I also think that could be better as trying to reconnect with friends whom I haven't talked to in a while.
So tonight, I'm thanking God for the gift of friends and the blessing of their presence in my life. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

A Nice Lunch

I had a nice lunch today. Several of us from the office got together with our former Executive Director. It was great to catch up with her. It was also great just to spend some informal social time with my co-workers. We laughed a lot and really had a good time.
I thank God for the wonderfully gifted people whom God has brought together for a common purpose. I am grateful for the honor of being a part of this team. I continue to feel that God has led me to this place at this time for such a time as this.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!