Two New Families

Today I had the great honor of telling two families that they have been approved as Habitat Partner Families. I love making these calls. The emotions are always so varied. Some people get really excited and whoop and yell. Other people start crying. Others are just quietly grateful.
I have the honor to be the person who first gets to tell them the good news. I congratulate them and then tell them that now the hard work of partnership begins. They will have to complete 500 sweat equity hours. They will have to attend required classes. They will fill out tons of forms. They will have to recruit others to help them build their homes.
This is really the fun part of my job. It's so wonderful to hear the varied reactions and to be able to offer hope to people who have been rejected and denied so many times before. It's the beginning of a whole new part of their lives. Habitat will walk with them and support them, but they still have to do all of the hard work themselves.
I ask for your prayers for these two new Habitat Partner Families. They have a challenging road ahead of them. It will test their patience. Hopefully, the process will also cause them to change old patterns of behavior and thinking. Most of all, I hope that God will work in their hearts as they work along side volunteers and staff who want to see them succeed. This is a day of new beginnings. It's a day that will launch their path towards becoming home owners of safe, decent, affordable homes.
Thank you for your prayers and for being a part of my journey!

News Blackout

Yesterday was another quiet day for me. It was probably too quiet. I ended up taking a long nap and then had trouble getting to sleep last night. I finally fell asleep around 1:30 AM. This was a huge problem for me when my alarm went off at 5:30 this morning so that I could meet my friend Karen to walk. I was a real zombie this morning.
I decided yesterday that I was not going to sit in front of the television yesterday watching all all of the ten year anniversary September 11 coverage. I watched little bit when I first got up in the morning and then listened to coverage on NPR on my drive to and from church. But besides that, I didn't watch much of it at all. I decided to put myself under a news blackout. It's not because I didn't think it was important to remember that horrible day in American history. It was more a way for me to say, as I did in my post yesterday, that life goes on.
I remember I was glued to the television back in 2001. I saw the image of the planes flying into the World Trade Center towers so many times, I felt numb. I heard all of the stories of survivors and all of the stories of family members of victims. I read everything I could in the news and online. Along with this, I was given the extra responsibility of trying to preach sermons in response to the terrorist attacks.
When I look back on those days and weeks following September 11, 2001, I realize that it was only by the grace of God that I was able to move through days. And this is also how I wanted to focus my heart on the tenth anniversary. I wanted to pause and give thanks for God's amazing grace in my life and along my journey since that time.
My pastor said it this way in his sermon on Sunday:

I like the way Julian of Norwich put it. Julian of Norwich lived in the fourteenth century during the Black Plague. Every day was 9/11 for her. But she had great hope that grew out of her faith as she faced the depths of the trials of her day. She wrote these lines: But all shall be well, And all shall be well, And all manner of things shall be well…He did not say, “You shall know no storms, no travails, no disease,” He said, “You shall not be overcome.”

Wow. What power. God did not say, “You shall have no storms.” God did not say, “You shall have no terrorists, you shall have no fires, you shall have no death.” God said, “You shall not be overcome.” All shall be well.
On this day, are the promises and protection of God enough for us? Are we able to say “All shall be well?” We may have to say it with a tear in our eyes. We may have to say it with a lump in our throats. We may have say to it with clenched fists. But in that whisper is eternity itself.
God’s faithful promises are our armor. Hope is in the enduring memory of God’s protection.
When the final 9/11 television special signs off for the evening, the last analysis has been offered, the last commentary spoken, and the last editorial written, I can think of no more beautiful eulogy than to say: But all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well…He did not say, “You shall know no storms, no travails, no disease,” He said, “You shall not be overcome.”

So, yesterday I napped and rested trusting that all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

A Tree Planted by the Water

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I saw this video as I was surfing the web today thinking about what I wanted to blog about on the tenth anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks. The video struck a powerful chord with me. Even in the midst of the horror that scarred our nation on that day ten years ago, life goes on. Though we felt mangled and helpless and vulnerable, God gave us the grace to experience the only thing that really matters - God's love. God was and is with us calling us to new life, forgiveness, and healing so that we might be like trees that never fail to bear fruit.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
- Jeremiah 17:7-8, NIV
 
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Answered Prayers

I have previously asked for your prayers for our family recruitment efforts at TriState Habitat for Humanity. We have done several mailings and had an insert in the utility bills in Hamilton, Ohio. Since we did these things, we have received a steady stream of requests for applications for home ownership. We also have been receiving more applications - especially from the city of Hamilton. In looking back at our application statistics for the past month, I was pleasantly surprised. In the past month we have received 120 requests for applications and 18 applications came back to the office.
I feel like this is a real answer to prayer. I feel like we are reaching out to our target group more effectively. I have known that there are families out there who qualify our program. I finally feel like we are making progress.
I also realize that in order to increase our capacity to serve more families, we need to keep up these kinds of focused recruitment efforts. There is a lot of work yet to do. We have really only begun to reach families who need a safe, decent, affordable place in which to live. I am excited by this challenge and I look forward to offering a hand up to families living in poverty.
I ask for your continued prayers for our family recruitment efforts. I also ask for your prayers for families who are struggling from day to day in poverty in the Cincinnati region. Hopefully, some of them will step out in faith and submit applications to become home owners.
Thanks for your prayers and for being a part of my journey!

Matt

I received word today that a man who was a part of the last congregation that I pastored in Indiana had passed away today. When I received the news, I started to cry. I received the news at the end of a particularly hard day and so I think the tears flowed more freely than they might have on another. Yet, even as I cried, I also felt a kind of deep assurance that even though this was the end of Matt's life in this life, it was not the end of Matt's eternal life.
When I first met Matt, I'm not sure he wanted much to do with me. At least that's how it seemed to me as a pastor who visited his hospital room. I was asked by a friend of Matt's wife to visit Matt in the hospital. I was always a bit uncomfortable doing this. Being the introvert that I am, I always felt weird barging into a stranger's hospital room. I was never sure if I would be welcomed or not. Some people would enjoy having me visit. Some people didn't want to have me anywhere near them. Some people would politely tolerate me. Still others would get very agitated or upset when they saw me. I guess they thought that if the pastor was coming, they were going to get bad news about their medical condition.
Matt suffered from diabetes. It was the kind of diabetes that caused Matt to eventually lose both of his legs. At the time that I first visited him, I think he had just had a surgery and was recovering in the hospital from that. Our conversation was brief and consisted of only few words.
I don't remember if I prayed with Matt at that time. This was often a confusing thing for some people to know how to respond when I asked if I could pray with them. Matt was not really a church person, so I'm certain if he did invite me to pray with him, it was not the most natural thing for him to experience. I remember thinking that if I was in Matt's position of having my body parts amputated that I'm not sure I would want to talk to God. In fact, my guess is that Matt was pretty mad at God at that time. At least that was my perception.
I remember that I visited Matt again several months later when he was in the hospital for another surgery or procedure. While he was still kind of gruff around the edges, he seemed to tolerate my visit better than the first time. I remember that our conversation was a bit longer and he seemed more cordial. I was also probably more at ease because I had met him before.
While I believe that God was at work in Matt's heart and life through all of his health problems, I'm not sure that Matt realized this and I'm not sure I really could see it happening. I think I was going to visit Matt out of a sense of obligation to Matt's wife's friend who was one of my congregation members. I still felt uncomfortable doing it and I think Matt was uncomfortable having me visit.
Several more months later, I visited Matt again in the hospital. He had fallen and broken a bone in his leg. This was not good. I think the doctors were trying to figure out a way to save his leg. During this visit Matt seemed both discouraged and more open to my visit. We talked more and I remember praying with him and he seemed to really appreciate it.
After this, Matt went to stay in a rehab facility for an extended period. They tried to build up his strength and help him to keep his leg. One day during this period, I had a craving for Chinese food. One of my favorite Chinese buffets was over near the rehab center where Matt was staying. After eating some wonderful Chinese food, I felt like God was nudging me to stop in and see Matt.
On this day Matt seemed really glad to see me. He smiled as we talked. His spirit seemed really light. He had a real look of peace about him. He shared that he had been attending a Bible study at the rehab center and that he was learning a lot. He had a lot of questions about the Bible and wanted to learn more. He then shared with me that he felt he was ready to accept Jesus into his heart. He asked if I would pray with him as he did that.
I was both humbled and filled with joy as I joined him in this most holy of moments in his life. When we were done praying, he said he felt a peace like he had never felt before in his life. He looked as if a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Whatever was happening with his physical body didn't seem to matter as much any more. He was truly a new creation in Christ.
After that, I got some men from the church to go with me and we would hold Bible studies in Matt's room at the rehab center. We would talk and discuss life and the Scriptures and I learned and grew as did the others who joined us. Matt always seemed eager to learn and grow in his new found faith in Christ.
When Matt got to finally go home, we moved the Bible study to his house. I remember that he lived on the other side of county from where I lived and it was quite a trek to get to his house. I would sometimes grumble about the time and energy it took to do this Bible study. However, I always felt renewed after I attended these Bible studies. Matt's willingness to learn and grow always reminded me of why we were doing what we were doing.
I realize now that those were times when I really felt like the church was at its best. We were being the church to Matt but he was also a vital part of the Body of Christ as we talked and joked and studied together. He was in ministry to and with us. This was exactly the way the church began. Those first Christians met in people's homes for study, worship, support, and fellowship. In fact, I often got more out of these home Bible studies at Matt's house than I did leading Sunday morning worship for a congregation made up of many people who were more focused on preserving irrelevant traditions than truly living as disciples of Jesus Christ. Matt was definitely Jesus to me in some deep and abiding ways that I don't think I will fully understand until I see him in heaven.
When I received the email telling me about Matt's death from my friend Mari, she quoted our friend Kathy who said about Matt's passing, “We all know where Matt is now because Kevin led him to Lord.” When I read those words, I used about three tissues as I broke down and cried some more.
I don't know how much leading I really did, but I do feel that God allowed me to get a craving for Chinese food and then led me to stop in on that most important of days in Matt's journey in this world. I do feel God was able to use me in some way to reach out to Matt and offer him the unconditional love of Jesus Christ. It was a day that forever changed Matt's heart and life. It was a day on which all the company of heaven was cheering him on and celebrating his new faith in Jesus.
As I write this blog entry, I am filled with a sense of gratitude for Matt and his life that helped to change my heart and life. It was truly an honor to journey with him for the short time that I did. I know there is a big celebration going on in heaven today as Matt is welcomed into the presence of God. I can just see him running on new legs into the loving arms of Jesus as he hears the words "Well done, Matt! My good and faithful servant!"
Thank you Matt for showing me the power of God's life-changing grace! I look forward to the day when we meet again at the feet of Jesus.
I invite you to join me in praying for Matt's family as they journey through this time of grief.
Thank you for your prayers and for being a part of my journey!

A Wild and Busy Day

Today was my first day back at work after being off for an extended weekend. The best thing I can say about my day is that I am glad it's over. I guess that's not really true. There were some really cool moments. One really great thing happened this morning. I traveled to Oxford, Ohio to orient a new Family Advocate. Advocates journey with our Partner Families from the time they are accepted as Partner Families until a year after they close on their homes. It's one of the most rewarding and can be one of most challenging volunteer positions within our Habitat affiliate. I really enjoyed spending time with this new Advocate this morning. I am always filled with gratitude when new people step forward to serve in this way.
The hard work started when I got back to the office. My desk was piled with a stack of papers. My inbox was filled to the brim. My voicemail box had several messages to which I needed to respond. As I sat down at my desk, I began to feel overwhelmed by it all. We have two wall raisings and a house dedication coming up this month and I am wondering how I'm going to get everything done. I felt like should stay until midnight to try to get caught up. However, I only stayed until about six because my brain was fried.
The good thing is that tomorrow is a new day. I know there are at least two new applications waiting for me to process. These always hold great hope for me when I get to read over them and come alongside families who dream of owning a safe, decent, affordable home.
I also realize that I don't have to do all of my work alone. I am a part of a wonderful team of staff members who support me and help me to deal with the challenges that I face. I also know that there are volunteers like the Family Advocate I met with today who are dedicated and who want to see families succeed as home owners. I also realize that I believe in a God Who goes before me and loves me and lifts me up when it feels like I can't go on.
When I think about all of these signs of grace in my life, that stack of papers on my desk doesn't seem so high or scary.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

A Wonderful Ministry

I attended a meeting today with the Director of Living Waters Ministry in Hamilton, Ohio. We met to talk about ways in which TriState Habitat for Humanity and Living Waters Ministry might collaborate to serve the people of Hamilton. I left the meeting feeling excited by the work that was already being done by Living Waters and how Habitat might come along side them and serve some of their current clients through our home ownership program and possibly through the new Neighborhood Revitalization Initiative that Habitat is helping to launch.
While the task before us seemed a bit daunting, I also felt much hope as I learned more about what Living Waters Ministry is already doing to make a huge different in the lives of the poor in Hamilton. I felt proud of my denomination to know that Living Waters was founded in 1999 by United Methodist Churches. Living Waters offers free programs for children such as recreation, academic enrichment, mentoring, nutrition, fitness, field trips, and service opportunities. They also help refer clients who need medical care, food, clothing, housing, utilities assistance, legal advice, translation services, job training, and transportation. Living Waters coordinates a community garden and teaches children and youth about gardening, food preparation, and nutrition. They sponsor a Christmas store, health fairs, and summer block parties.
Living Waters has also recently renovated a former public school building and they preparing to expand their work to that site. By the time I was done hearing about what they do and what they plan to do, I felt like I needed a nap. I could sense the great passion for serving as many people as they could all in the name of Jesus. They are doing much and realize that this is just the tip of iceberg.
I am grateful for what God is doing through Living Waters Ministry. I am grateful for my time of learning and listening today. I am grateful for people who had a vision to begin this ministry and their willingness to follow through to make that vision a reality. I am grateful that all of this is being done in the name of Jesus to help heal a broken world.
If you want to learn more about this amazing ministry, you can check out their website http://www.hamilton-living-water-ministry.org/
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Bringing Good News

I got to be the bearer of good news to two families today in my work with Habitat for Humanity. Our Board of Directors approved two new Partner Families and I had the honor and privilege of calling both families and giving them the good news.
This is one of my favorite things I get to do as the Family Services Coordinator. I get to tell families that they can now move forward with realizing their dream of becoming home owners. I get to share the good news that, if they meet all of the requirements and expectations of Habitat Partnership, then they will one day move from sub-standard conditions into a new home that is safe, decent, and affordable. I get to offer them hope in the midst of some very challenging life circumstances.
I also tell each family when I call that if they thought the application process tested their patience, they are now in for a whole new season of being patient. They will have to complete 500 sweat equity hours, pay a down payment, attend classes, fill out forms, and jump through a whole bunch of other hoops before they can close on their home. There will most likely be weather delays and sub-contractors and volunteers may not work work as fast as they want them to work. There can be set-backs with inspections and materials supplies. Yet, in the end, if they are patient and keep up their end of their partnership agreement, then we will help them to become home owners.
Whenever I make these calls, families have many different reactions. Some of them whoop and holler into the phone. Many of them start to cry. Today, one family gave God thanks and praise for this blessing in their life. The reaction is always different but there always seems to be a deep sense of gratitude from each family. That attitude of gratitude is powerful. It often humbles me to silence and prayer. There is no better feeling than to offer hope to people and feel that hope spilling over into my own heart.
It's been another long day but I end this day with a heart full of gratitude. I am thankful that God has led me to serve the poor in this way. I am grateful for the honor and privilege of bringing good news to families in need. I am grateful for the way in which God works in my heart and teaches me through our Partner Families. I could not ask for a better place in which to be in ministry. I continue to drink in big gulps of God's grace in my life and I am forever grateful for this opportunity.
Thank you for being a part of my journey!

I Feel Like Quitting

I feel like quitting. No, I'm not talking about quitting my job. I feel like resigning from normal, everyday life. For it is normal, everyday life that seems to sweep in and catch me off guard and really bring me down. I was telling my friend Karen that I have had the strength to stand at someone's bedside who is dying in the hospital and offer hope and comfort and feel a sense of peace.  I seem to have the faith to endure major crises and shepherd people through very dark times in their lives; however, I can hardly stand the small inconveniences of life.
When I took the chaplain's class in Knoxville, I worked in the trauma unit in which I saw all kinds of blood, broken bones, and injuries and I was somehow able to remain fairly calm and collected. However, whenever I got lost in the hospital (which was very often) I nearly had a melt down. When I served in the local church, I felt I did some of my best ministry when there was a death and I was called to offer comfort to the family. I always seemed to have the words to say and knew when to sit and be quiet with people in their grief. However, one time I forgot my Bible at home and didn't realize it until I arrived at the funeral home. The funeral director couldn't scrounge up a Bible and I nearly had a panic attack. I hopped in the car for a high speed trip back to the parsonage. Thankfully one of the funeral home employees drove me in one of the funeral home cars. I think he drove most of the way above 80 miles per hour which only added to my anxiety.
Today was no exception. I took my car in to have a latch mechanism replaced. The sensor on the hatch door of my car kept going off and it would set my alarm off. One night it went off at about 11:30 PM. I'm sure my neighbors all loved this. So, for the past few weeks, I haven't been locking my car. Anyway, I picked my car up today from the repair shop, drove back to the office and pressed the remote lock button and nothing happened. I went into a panic. I couldn't believe that it did not work. I didn't have the time to take my car back today. I called the repair shop and the guy told me he couldn't tell me what was wrong without looking at it. I couldn't believe that he couldn't just figure it out from my description which was "It's not working." Hmm. I felt like I paid a whole bunch of money for nothing because I still couldn't lock my car. It drove home my basic belief that cars are a necessary evil and money pits. If I could live without a car I would.
Later in the day, I had another dentist appointment. I had to have a filling redone. It took only a few minutes and involved no pain because I've had a root canal on that tooth. I was under the impression that this procedure would not cost me anything because it was covered under my dental insurance. However, when I went to the check out counter, they told me I owed them money. I said that I thought that it was all covered under my insurance. They basically said that this was not routine preventative treatment and I would have to pay them money today. Uggg! I was mad at the dentist for not telling me this before I had the procedure. I was mad at the insurance company for a policies that benefit insurance company share holders and executives. I was most of all mad at myself for not reading my insurance benefits policy more closely.
After paying a bunch of money to have my car fixed and more money to have my tooth fixed, I wanted to yell out to everyone in the dentist office waiting room "Would anyone else like any money from me today? Here, just take my debit card and drain my account! Why do I need any money anyway? Take it all!" Thankfully, I kept my wits and didn't do this but it sure would have felt good to vent a bit. So, I guess it's helping to vent all of this to you through this blog.
It's the normal stuff of life that puts me over the edge. I don't know why. It doesn't make sense. It's the way I'm wired. I hate this about myself. It exhausts me. I have made some slight changes and I feel like I'm not as bad as I once was but it feels like I haven't made much progress at all. I pray for God's help with this and I still live with anxiety about stupid stuff. I remember Jesus' words to consider the lilies of the field and the birds and trust in God in all things. However, most days I fail miserably at this. Today was no exception.
I'm tired from the day's events and I am not long from bed. I feel like quitting but I guess I'll rest tonight and give it another try tomorrow. The good news is that tomorrow is a new day and another chance to be faithful to the God Who loves me and sustains me and will never let me go.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

The Best Medicine

I love to laugh. I believe that laughter is a sign of God's grace in my life. If it were not for laughing, I'm not sure I could have made it this far in life. All I have to do is look in the mirror and I know for a fact that God has a sense of humor.
Tonight I laughed really hard. I attended writing class and it was just what I needed in my life right now. I had a really hard week and didn't get all of my homework done. I thought about not going to class because I just wanted to go home and sleep. I have been really stressed out and it all seemed to come to a head this afternoon.
I am so glad that I decided to attend class. This is such a wonderful group of people. We really seemed to gel tonight. We got to laughing and it was contagious. It was wonderful. I was laughing so hard I was in tears. It was a healing time for me. It was by God's grace that I was led to this class at this place at this time.
God is so good to me. Through the gift of laughter God raised me up and allowed me to experience joy and peace. Thanks be to God!
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

An Evening of Celebration and Thanksgiving

Tonight was a wonderful evening of celebration and thanksgiving. We held our annual Volunteer Appreciation Dinner for TriState Habitat for Humanity. It was awesome! We got to hear some wonderful testimonies and celebrate what God is doing in our midst.
We heard the personal story of a teenage girl whose mother is a Habitat home owner. The girl talked about how having a safe, decent, affordable home has made all the difference in her life. She later sang a song and brought those gathered to our feet with applause.
I then got to introduce the Habitat Partner Family for whom we are building TriState Habitat for Humanity's 200th home in Trenton, Ohio. It was great to be able to tell her story and tell people about what she is looking forward to as her house is constructed.
We then thanked volunteers and gave small gifts to them according to the number of years they have volunteered.
We also got to witness the symbolic passing of the hammer from our current Executive Director to our new Executive Director.
I come away from this evening inspired and thankful for all that God has done and is doing in the life of TriState Habitat for Humanity. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to serve those in need. I am grateful for the wonderfully gifted volunteers with whom I work. I am thankful that God has led me to this place at this time. I am blessed and filled with hope when I think about all that God is doing in my life.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

New Year, New Start

I believe in a God Who offers us to the chance to begin again at any time in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. We can repent and turn around from our current path and go in a new direction. So, while I don't think there is anything magical or necessarily special about changing the calendar from 2010 to 2011, for me it is another point along the journey of my life at which I can pause and think about where I've been, where I am, and where I'm going.
So, I thought I would share with you some of the things I'm hoping that will take place in my heart and life in the new year.

• I want to take better care of myself physically. I need to lose weight and be a better steward of the body with which God has blessed me. One thing that is going to help me in this endeavor is that I have signed up to walk in a half marathon in Cincinnati in May. My sister Stacey walked in the half-marathon, called the Flying Pig, last year and invited me to join her this year. I have never walked 13.1 miles all at once. I have a training schedule that will help me achieve this goal. I'd ask for your prayers as I begin preparing for this event. I'm anxious about it but I know that I will feel a great sense of accomplishment if I finish the walk.
• I want to be a better steward of my money. I have been focusing on paying down debt over the past few years. 2011 is going to be key for my debt reduction plan. I will be able to pay off some of my debts and then hope to be completely debt free in another year. Of course, there's a lot of life to live in the next year. My car will turn 10 years old in 2011. It's held up so far but I worry about having to put a lot of money into it to keep it running. I also know that there will be other unexpected expenses. I pray that I will make wise use of the resources with which God has blessed me.
• I want to continue to develop my passion for writing. I will continue writing on this blog. I also want to take the next two creative writing courses as a follow-up to the class I took this fall. I also have an idea for a longer piece that I've started to work on. I don't know exactly where it's headed but I'm really enjoying it. Writing really feeds my soul.
• I want to reach out to more families living in need through my work with Habitat for Humanity. We are getting ready to launch some new programs. I am also going to attend some training regarding these programs. I also want to work harder at recruiting new families with whom to partner. I know that there are many families living in poverty housing who may not even realize that Habitat can help them achieve their dreams of home ownership.
• I want to become more involved in my church. I want to get to know more people and offer my gifts as a way of advancing the mission and ministry of the church. I am really looking forward to seeing where God leads as I move forward in ministry and faith.

There are a lot of other things in my life on which I should probably focus, but this is where I plan to start. I know there will be times when I fail. I am notorious for procrastinating and not following through on things. I don't know if this year will be any different. However, the one thing that I can always count on is that God will be with me no matter what. Even if I don't end up accomplishing any of these goals, God will continue to love me and call me and fill my life with grace.
I hope that you have a wonderful new year full of blessings. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Missing Advent

This season of Advent has been a strange one for me. There has not been much of a rhythm to the season for me this year. In many ways, I felt like I missed the season entirely.
I started out on the first Sunday in Advent in St. Louis. I was on vacation and staying with my friends' Sheri and Ian. I am always grateful for Ian and Sheri's hospitality when I visit and I always enjoy attending worship with them. While they did light the first Advent candle during the service at Sheri and Ian's church, we didn't sing any Advent hymns. It happened to be the last Sunday for their church's Director of Christian Education. The sermon and service was good but the focus really wasn't Advent it was more on giving the DCE a chance to say "goodbye". I could tell that there was a real sense of grief in the air as the congregation said "farewell" to a beloved staff member who had a wonderful ministry at this church.
On the second Sunday of Advent, I had planned to go to my church and get into the spirit of the season a bit more. I knew they would be celebrating Advent in a big way with special music and a sermon about waiting and preparing. However, I ended up going to church with my friend Karen at her church. Again, the service and music were wonderful but this church really doesn't do Advent at all. It's a church that really tries hard to reach out to the unchurched and I guess Advent is not cool with the unchurched. I never really quite got that in all of the church growth books I read but I guess this is what reaches people. How can you argue with a church with five services filled to capacity attracting thousands of people each week?
On the third Sunday of Advent, I was in South Bend for my friend Ian's dad's funeral. It was good to be back in my home town of Mishawaka and I even got to make a visit to my home church for the funeral dinner. On this weekend, I attended church with my friend Mari at her church. I have been to this church many times and I really like it. You can always hear great preaching and good music. This particular Sunday was no different. It was all great. We even got to hear a drum solo accompanying the Hallelujah Chorus. There was also a jazz singer who did some wonderful renditions of Christmas carols. However, this church does not really do Advent either. Again, it's hard to argue with multiple services that attract thousands of people. I really enjoyed it but there was nothing to really mark the season of waiting and expectation that I have come to know and love.
On the fourth Sunday of Advent, I was finally able to attend my church in Cincinnati. It was a wonderful service. The choir sang some amazing pieces. The hand bells played. The congregational singing was great and we got to sing some wonderful Christmas carols from the hymnal. However, there were no Advent hymns sung during the service. No Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus (my favorite Advent hymn) no O Come, O Come Emmanuel no People Look East Like most churches that do celebrate Advent, by the fourth Sunday of Advent my church was in full Christmas mode. While they did take the time to light the Advent Candles, we sang Joy to the World and O Come All Ye Faithful as congregational hymns. It was a wonderful service. I was grateful that the pastor did focus on the theme of waiting during Advent in his sermon. However, I also found myself feeling just slightly disappointed because I felt rushed into celebrating Christmas when I was not ready for it.
However, it hit me today that in the midst of this wonderful season, I somehow missed it. I know it's not about lighting Advent candles. I know it's not about my traditions. I know it's not about my agenda. I guess I missed it because I wasn't really paying attention to the signs all around me of God's presence and love. I did not feel a sense of hope and expectation because I chose not to embrace the hope and expectation of the season wherever I found myself.
On the first Sunday of Advent in St. Louis, I kept thinking that it was poor timing for this to be the farewell sermon and service for the Christian Education Director at Sheri and Ian's church. I thought Advent should start off on a high note that is full of expectation. However, what I failed to remember is that Jesus came into the world in God's perfect timing and that had little to do with the world's timing or plans. Jesus was born to a poor couple who couldn't even get a decent room at an inn. He came at a very inconvenient time and while some, like the shepherds rejoiced, others like King Herod were threatened by Jesus because he challenged the status quo and power structure of his day. There was even a foreshadowing of grief at his miraculous birth as the Magi brought spices used to prepare bodies for burial. Even then, his death and sacrifice seemed to be looming ahead of him.
On the second Sunday of Advent, I should have been more grateful for being able to worship with my friend Karen rather than worried about seeing people light Advent candles. Reconnecting with Karen has been a huge blessing in my life this year. It is by God's grace that our paths have been allowed to cross again. To worship with my sister in Christ was a joy and I should have really let God know that in my praise that morning. Instead, I kept hoping we would at least sing a Christmas carol.
On the third Sunday of Advent, I should have been more grateful just to worship God with my friend Mari. She is a wonderful blessing in my life and did not hesitate when I asked her at the last minute if I could stay with her in order to attend Ian's dad's funeral. While Mary and Joseph couldn't get a room, I have a friend who always has a room ready for me. I have a friend who allows me to invade her home and who offers me gracious hospitality and who loves me in spite of my weirdness. During a very busy season, Mari made time for me. It reminds me of how much I need to make time for Jesus in my life and journey. I get busy doing and I don't take the time simply to be in God's presence.
On the fourth Sunday of Advent, I felt like even the church was rushing me along to the manger. I was dragging my heals and trying to make up for what I saw as three lost weeks of Advent. However, what I also need to remember is that Christ comes into the world whether I am ready for Him or not. Jesus came, is coming, and will come into the world and my job is simply to prepare my heart as best I can. I do not know the time or the place. I am commanded to be ready at all times, in all circumstances.
So, as I reflect upon this Advent season, I am really glad it unfolded as it did. I have learned some things about myself and about my expectations of church, of worship, and of God. As much as I would like to think it's all about me, I know that it is not. I just forget that most days. I have also been reminded through this season of waiting and hope that God has surrounded me with good friends in my life who make this journey grace-filled for me. They love me and put up with me and they sometimes even put me up. They listen to me whine and help me to laugh. They feed me and play games with me and watch movies with me. They are signs of God's loving presence in my life. I don't deserve it, but in their friendship and support, I continue to experience the love and grace of Jesus. They remind me that God is real and present with me along my journey. And in the end, that's what Advent is really all about. Whether it's in a worship service, in singing a Christmas carol, or talking over a good meal with friends, Advent is a season to once again be reminded that Jesus is Emmanuel - God with us.
Thank you for being a part of my journey!

The Gift of Laughter

One of the things I love most about the people with whom I work at TriState Habitat for Humanity is that they love to laugh. While we take our work very seriously, we do not take ourselves too seriously. We laugh at the silliness of the situations we find ourselves in. We laugh at the absurdity of construction code requirements and grant application documentation. We laugh at the strange things we sometimes find ourselves doing like making weird Christmas videos for our website or trying to decipher "interesting" handwriting on an application for home ownership.
Today I found myself laughing a whole bunch. We were in the midst of trying to solve a problem that called for input from three different areas. We each had our say from our perspectives and then were trying diligently to work the problem. None of this seems funny on the surface, but if you get different people with different backgrounds and different ways of communicating together, there's bound to be miscommunication, confusion, and a few sarcastic comments thrown in for good measure.
Well, as they often do, one thing led to another and we found ourselves in stitches over what should have been a very simple discussion. We almost couldn't stop laughing. I was in tears from laughing so hard at one point. Some of my co-workers on the other side of the hallway heard us laughing and thought we were having some kind of very loud party without them.
I continue to believe that it is my sense of humor that keeps me grounded in life. Sometimes you just have to laugh at the craziness that is life. Sometimes all you can do is laugh because if you didn't laugh you would cry. Laughter for me reminds me that I am alive and brings a sense of hope to situations that threaten to overwhelm me.
So, tonight I'm giving God thanks for the gift of laughter. I am also thanking God for the privilege of serving on a team that loves to laugh. I think that most of the time they are laughing with me but I also know that there are probably times when they are laughing at me. They don't do this out of any sense of malice but because I tend to find myself in laughable situations and they join me in recognizing the silliness of it all. Also, I'm just plain weird and that is definitely cause for laughter.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Waiting Room

The senior pastor at my church preached a wonderful Advent sermon today. He talked about how even as the culture is rushing towards Christmas, Christians are still in a waiting mode during the season of Advent and in our spiritual journeys. Advent is the season of waiting and preparing for the celebration of Christ's birth. It is also the time to remember that we await Christ's Second Coming when Christ shall return and transform the world as we know it.
My pastor talked about his experiences in waiting rooms and how journeying through Advent can be just like that. Like most pastors, he has spent many hours in hospital waiting rooms. He talked about how waiting rooms are places in which you can get your hopes only to have them dashed. There is great anticipation when a doctor or nurse enters the waiting room and looks for a family. Whenever the name is called and it's not your family's name, there is real disappointment.
Waiting rooms are also places where you meet people and talk with people whom you might not normally meet or talk with. There's something about the waiting period that can cause people to share things about their lives and families that they wouldn't otherwise share. People journey together in waiting rooms with hopes and fears. They share stories. They cry. They find both peace and anxiety. You just never know what may happen or what news you may hear.
Waiting rooms are also places that most of us don't want to be. I can't imagine that too many people ever just hang out in the waiting room of a doctor's office or hospital just for the fun of it. Even for chaplains who feel called to minister to people who find themselves in waiting rooms, they understand that this is not a place that the family and friends of the person in the hospital are not there because they had nothing better to do. They are there because they are waiting for news.
I remember when I was taking a class chaplaincy class at the University of Tennessee Medical Center, most often I was called to the waiting room of the hospital because the doctor had to give a family bad news that their loved one had died. Waiting rooms were not usually a place to which I wanted to be summoned. They were often places where tears were shed and grief was expressed.
I guess that's why so many of us like to skip right to Christmas rather than live through Advent. We like the happy story of the cute baby in the manger. We don't really have time to listen to prophets tell us things we don't want to hear or think about the Second Coming at which we will be judged. That just doesn't sound pleasant to me. I'd rather sing Christmas carols and give gifts. I don't really have time to wait. Life seems too short.
This is precisely the reason that I needed to hear this sermon about waiting today. I need to realize that I am in this waiting room of life and I need to make the best of my time here. I need to learn what I can from others who are waiting. I need to prepare and get ready for whatever news will be shared. I need to remember that God moves in God's time and that has nothing to do with my schedule or agenda.
So, as we journey through this last week of Advent, I invite you to join me in the waiting room. I could certainly use the company. Hopefully we can learn something together as we wait and hope for the Good News of Christ's birth.
Thanks for waiting with me and for being a part of my journey!

Daydreaming - Please Knock!

My sister Stacey posted this photo on her Facebook page on Thursday. Due to the "snow storm" here in the Cincinnati area, most school systems canceled school. Cameron's school system was no exception. I talked to Stacey today and she said that she walked upstairs in their home and saw this sign posted on on Cameron's bedroom door.
I love it!!!!! I first of all love it because this is so Cameron. He likes to make signs and write. He is also very creative and it does not surprise me that he would take time to daydream on his snow day. Of course, he also wants his family to know what he's up to.
I used to daydream a lot. It used to be a regular part of my life. I remember lying on my bed covered with a red corduroy bedspread and just looking up at the textured ceiling and dreaming. I would dream about what I might be when I grew up. I would dream about what my future life was going to be like. I would dream about what kind of car I would drive when I was old enough to drive. I would dream about where I might live when I grew up.
I also did a lot of daydreaming in the living room of the house in which I grew up in Mishawaka. I would sit on the couch and read the World Book Encyclopedia and look at maps of places that I hoped that I would visit one day. I read about people who had changed the course of history. I especially loved to read the articles about the Presidents of the United States. Many of them had full page color pictures of the Presidents and photos of their homes. As I read these articles, I daydreamed about having conversations with the Presidents and asking them questions about their lives and times.
I also would daydream in the living room of that house on Linden Avenue in Mishawaka when I listened to the stereo. I would put on Carpenters records or listen to John Denver on 8-track tape and lie on the green shag carpeted floor. Those were times to just get lost in the music and let it take me to a new place in my life and soul.
I think that I can learn something from Cameron's sign. I need to spend more time daydreaming. My writing class has helped me to see this also. I too often go through life with the television as my background noise and I don't ever take the time just to sit and think and even dream. I too often don't allow myself time to be creative and express what's really on my heart and mind. I somehow ended up being much more of a doer than a dreamer.
I know the church stifled a lot daydreaming time in my life. The institution in many ways hates dreamers. It rewards doers but not dreamers. It talks a lot about dreaming and having a vision but really doesn't want pastors or others wasting time dreaming. There are hospital visits to make, statistical forms to complete, and meetings to attend. In a mainline denomination that is losing thousands of members every year, there's no time to dream.
Sadly, most of the people in the churches that I served had stopped dreaming in their lives also. Many of them stopped dreaming in the 1950's and by the time I met them they didn't even know how to dream. They also didn't want to dream for fear of where those dreams might lead. It might mean that they might have to give up their favorite pew or let go of a tradition. It might mean that they would actually follow God's radical path into the future rather than worry about the aging boiler system in the church building.
I think that if I were to make a New Year's resolution for 2011 it would be to daydream more. I want to dream God-sized dreams for my life. I want to remember and renew that part of myself that is still a daydreamer. I want to look to the future and see my life as it could be in the light of God's love. I want to help others realize their dreams also. This might be the dream of home ownership through my work with Habitat for Humanity or it might be helping people to dream of using their gifts to serve God in new ways in the church I attend.
I guess the first step might be for me to make a sign like Cameron did. This doesn't have to be a literal sign but instead the intentional carving out of time on my calendar to daydream. It would serve to let people know that I am in daydream mode. This would be time to allow myself to shut the noise of the world out and just dream. I wish I could find a piece of green shag carpeting to lie on. I think this could really enhance my dreams. :)
I hope you are having a great weekend and have some time to daydream. Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Family Recruitment Event

I ask for your prayers for a family recruitment event that TriState Habitat for Humanity is sponsoring tomorrow evening. I will be facilitating the event in Bethel, Ohio. It's an opportunity for families interested in TriState Habitat for Humanity's home ownership program to ask questions, receive an application, and get a start on completing an application. We don't usually have a huge turnout at these events but it does give us a chance to connect to a few families and spend some time with people who may need some extra encouragement to apply for our program.
I really enjoy these public meetings because it gives me the opportunity to talk about the mission and ministry of Habitat for Humanity and meet potential applicants. I also enjoy being able to encourage people to take the next step in their journey towards realizing their dreams of home ownership. I get really inspired when I see people talk about the possibility that they one day might be home owners.
I am hoping and praying that those who need to be at this meeting will show up.
Thanks for your prayers and for being a part of my journey!

House Dedication

Today I participated in a house dedication for one of our TriState Habitat for Humanity Partner Families in Florence, Kentucky. It was a wonderful experience. The house was sponsored by Thrivent Financial for Lutherans who provided many of the volunteers as well as financial support.
No matter how many times I participate in house dedications, I still get goose bumps whenever I see families receive the keys to their new home. For me, this is payday. This is a transformational moment of hope and grace. It's the moment when the dreams of a family living in poverty housing meet the reality of love in action made possible through the mission and ministry of Habitat for Humanity.
There are prayers and blessings and the presentation of a Bible to every family. There are thank yous and well wishes and often times food. It's a time to pause and recognize what God has accomplished through the time, gifts, and talents of the people of God.
I absolutely love this work. I feel that all that has come before was preparation for what I do now. This for me is life-changing ministry. Working with the poor fills me up and challenges me to reflect God's heart for the least of these in our world. I thank God every day that God has led me to this place for such a time as this.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Wonderful Story

Here's a cool story that went out in TriState Habitat for Humanity's e-newsletter. It's a wonderful story of one of our home owners who paid off her mortgage. I'm in awe of this woman's story and journey and I thought I would share it with you.

On September 10, 2010, TriState Habitat for Humanity homeowner Ernestine Givens made her last payment on a 20 year mortgage after only 15 years. “I felt so happy! I said: ‘Thank God!’ Hard work, prayer, and focusing on what was really important paid off”.

What is important to Ernestine is obvious when you look around her home and talk to her - family. Family is the reason why she first became a Habitat homeowner and family is why she made the sacrifices and choices she did.
High Street Baptist Church, Pastor Ron Stuart, Cindy and Bernie Showman, Diane McClain, Craig Ledford, and Pat Wilkerson were just a few of the people who encouraged Ernestine, a former Sunday School teacher at High Street Baptist Church to apply for a Habitat home. They witnessed first hand the servant in her when she gained custody of her two nephews and changed her life to suit theirs and all the other children and family members that followed.
In July of 1994 on a lot where Monroe Elementary School once stood, a groundbreaking ceremony was held. Through her own sweat equity, dedicated volunteers, former Mayor Chuck Furman, and fellow church members, 1248 Lane Street was built. Hers was the first house on the block. Now, 16 years later, a mortgage has been paid off in advance. When we asked Ernestine how she was able to accomplish this when foreclosures are at an all-time high, she said “I would pay a little more each time.” Her philosophy was “why spend money on something you don’t need when something so much more important is at stake? Owning my own home and having a place to share with family and friends is a blessing. I did what I had to do to fight through the challenges, and here I am!”
A scrapbook Ernestine has kept over the years tells the story of her Habitat journey and serves as a precious reminder of the many people who have crossed her path and whose lives she has touched. It is a symbol of pride of ownership, hard work and determination. There will undoubtedly be a few more pages, pictures, cards, and letters added to that book, along with that final mortgage payment receipt.
This Thanksgiving the home she shares with granddaughters Deontara, Daja, and nephew Cedrick will be filled with family from Virginia, friends, and neighbors celebrating and giving thanks. “Dinner will be the usual, unless someone asks for something special; if they do, I’ll make it”. Family and Faith is everything to Ernestine, and doing for others is what she does best.
 
It's stories like this that inspire me move me forward in the service of our Partner Families. Knowing that tonight families will go to sleep in substandard housing all across the TriState region, I am compelled to give my best to these families as they seek to move from poverty housing to safe, decent, affordable housing. This is some of the most gratifying work that I have ever done.
Well, I'd better be off to bed. It's been a long day and tomorrow will also be long. Things are moving at lightening speed at TriState Habitat for Humanity. We are getting ready to dedicate three houses over the next three weekends - two in Florence, Kentucky and one in Lebanon, Ohio. It's an exciting and bit overwhelming time as I prepare everything for the house dedications and the closings for these three families.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Introduction to a New Church Home

I am very excited as I sit down to write this blog entry. I returned a few hours ago from an orientation session for the church that I have been attending for the last few months. It was a wonderful experience for me. I was able to meet three of the pastors and two of the program staff members. There were about 20 people who were in attendance to learn more about the church and its ministries. This is a part of their membership class series. While I can't join the church (United Methodist pastors belong to Annual Conferences rather than local churches), they did allow me to attend this series of classes so that I could learn more about the church and discern how I might best use my gifts to serve in the life of the church.
As I listened to the pastors and staff speak, I was filled with a sense of confirmation from God that this is the right place at the right time for me in my journey. It's hard to put into words but I felt as if I had found a church in which I could participate and my gifts would be put to good use and I would find a community of Christians who would support and challenge me in my journey.
One of the things that I have been wrestling with about attending this church is that it's a bit of a drive for me. It's 25 miles one way and I was worried about how I would really be able to participate in ministry other than on Sunday mornings. Driving 30-45 minutes (depending on traffic) to church is something that I have never really done before. I know that sounds like an excuse, but I guess I was worried I would be seen by those living in the church's neighborhood as some outsider who simply commutes in for worship and then leaves never to be seen again until the next Sunday. However, as I began to meet the people who were attending the class, I found out that it is truly a regional church. People drive from all over the Cincinnati area to attend this church. I met people from Northern Kentucky, the northern suburbs of Cincinnati, and all parts of Hamilton County in which Cincinnati is located. I spoke with one of the pastors who told me that it takes her about 25 minutes to get to church from where she lives. When I heard this, I knew that I couldn't use travel distance as an excuse any more.
I am most impressed by the church's mission and context for ministry. They have a true heart for the city and are involved in a number of inner city missions throughout Cincinnati. About ten years ago, the church purchased a former Catholic monastery down the street and have developed it into a educational and retreat center. The church also has a global emphasis and have helped to launch new churches in different parts of the world. The church is located in a rather affluent neighborhood in Cincinnati, but they seem to attract people of all backgrounds and socio-economic groups.
The church seems to be in the midst of transition and God is moving in a powerful way in the life of the congregation. A new senior pastor arrived a little over a year ago who is helping them to put into place new systems that will help them to be more effective in all areas of ministry. We heard some about this today at the orientation session.
What surprises me most about my sense of God's leading me to this congregation is that it has very traditional worship services. The church looks like a Gothic cathedral from the outside and on the inside. It is a beautiful building complete with a gigantic pipe organ. They use the full liturgy from the United Methodist Hymnal whenever they celebrate the Sacraments. It's about as high church as you can get in the United Methodist Church. Why this is so ironic is that in my last church in Knoxville, they were far from traditional in worship style. They had a traditional worship but it was not what I would consider high church. I most often attended one of the contemporary services. When I helped to launch the new campus of the church, this service was totally contemporary. So, I find it strange that I am attracted to this very traditional worship service. However, I think the difference is that this is traditional worship done well. I enjoy all kinds of worship styles and the difference for me is the quality of worship. Most churches that I served and have attended in my opinion don't do worship well. This has nothing to do with the vocal range of the choir or how many electric guitars they have in the band. It has everything to do with a pursuit of excellence to honor God in all that they do. In too many churches the preachers, organists, song leaders, ushers, band members, liturgists, and people in the pews do not take worship seriously. They bring a half-hearted attempt at praise to a God Who give us everything. When I left parish ministry, I vowed that I would find a church home that knows what it means to sincerely honor and worship the living God of all creation. I will not settle for okay. I expect the best because God deserves the best.
Most of all, finding this new church home is an answer to prayer for me. I have been hoping that God would lead me to a community in which I can connect with Christians in order to serve the world. I feel like I have found that place. I need people who will pray for me and with me and hold me accountable to the teachings of my Christian faith. I am grateful for this opportunity to connect with this congregation in this way.
So, here I am at this point in my journey not at all where I thought I would be. I'm doing a job that I deeply love. I am living in a wonderful metropolitan region with much to do and enjoy. I have connected with friends from my past who help me to get out and have some fun. I'm about to start a new adventure through the creative writing course I'm taking beginning on Monday evening. I'm blessed to be a part of my nephew Cameron's life. Now, I'm on the verge of settling on a church home. It is truly an amazing crossroads moment for me. God continues to bless me and bring me healing and hope. God is leading me on an amazing journey that fills me with anticipation and expectation for what may be just around the corner. God is so good to me.
If you would like to learn more about my new church home, you can check them out on the church's website: http://www.hydeparkchurch.com/ It's a great church with a great mission.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!