September 2004 was a exciting time in my life but also a sad time in my life. 6 years ago on Sept. 24th my daughter was born a month early and was in NICU for 2 weeks. I remember that week so vividly. I was sent home Sept 27th baby less since she had to stay since she couldn't breathe on her own. She was hooked up to so many machines I couldn't even hold her. She had tubes to help her breathe. Tubes to feed her. IVs, heating machines, jaundice lights, heart monitors anything you could think of on this tiny little baby.
Me, Niece Kristina, and James
I went home and spent the first night at home without my baby with me worried the whole time. I remember going to bed around 10 that night and wake up around 3 in the morning like I was being choked. My heart was racing, I couldn't breathe and I had a overwhelming bad feeling over me all I wanted to do was cry. I knew something was wrong. I immediately thought it was my baby girl but couldn't go see her until 9 the next morning. I remember dropping the kids off at my Mother in laws and her telling me my mom called saying my sister called saying they rushed my Nephew James to the hospital. He wasn't breathing, was unconscious, and had a light pulse. I began to cry but I still wanted to make sure my baby girl was ok. So off to the hospital we went. We got there and the nurse said since 6 am she was doing remarkably better. She went off the CPAP and was just using Oxygen tubes so she was breathing on her own she also began eating from a bottle well about 1/2 a oz but from the day before it was a remarkable change. I was so happy she was doing so much better.
I then felt a feeling over me knowing she was going to be fine someone was helping her taking care of her. I know that sounds crazy but I believe in Guardian angel whole heartily. I remember getting back to my Mils house to get the kids and she saw me and started bawling. I knew immediately. She said My nephew James didn't make it. They said when they got him to the hospital he was already dead. They took him off the breathing tubes and that was the end. They believe in the middle of the night he stopped breathing and his girlfriend noticed it in the morning when she tried to wake him. So he was rushed to the Hospital. I don't still know all the detail nor do I care to but he was in pain and took some different pills to help with the pain and to help him sleep along with alcohol and all of it interacted and caused his death.
James and me
No matter what I know my nephew was a awesome kid, and great young man. He was so smart and funny. He was the light of the family. He could make anyone smile. He was so caring and loving. He was my best friend. Yes he wasn't perfect and did something he shouldn't have but we all do things as a teenager we should but unfortunately he paid with his life for it. I miss him so much it hurts. I cant even think of him without tearing up. I know he is in a better place and no more pain and sadness. He is with our creator or God. In the most beautiful place watching over us.
I know because of him watching over my little girl when she was in trouble is the reason she is still here with us. Because she was in NICU I could fly to AZ to go to the funeral which was very hard for me. Between my daughter being in the hospital , Post partum depression and losing my nephew I was in a very bad place for a few weeks. All I did was cry day and night. But when I brought my daughter home I knew he was there with her. She has never met him but at a year old you show her a picture she has never seen before and she smiled and when she could talk she knew his name. That to me told me it was true. He is her Guardian Angel!
James and my oldest Megan (only pic of them together)
My oldest two got to meet him and all but they were kind of young to remember. I wish all my kids got to meet him. He was a great person and he was a great cousin to them. HE loved them and all his family so much. He would of made a Awesome father and husband. Yet he didn't get the chance. He was my friend and I miss him so much it hurts. I feel incomplete without him in my life. I miss his smile and laugh. We grew up together being 3 years apart we were close. We stayed up late to play Nintendo. We made scary houses and bars. We made club houses. We were always together! Even when I was married and had kids he spent so much time at my house hanging out and going boating together. We were inseparable! I still cant believe its been 6 years. It still hurts like it was yesterday! This time a year is hard because Thanksgiving and Christmas were his favorite holidays because of all the food ha ha. He loved it oh and all the present for him ha ha.
I love you James! We miss you every single day of our lives!
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