Restless

As I sit down to write this blog entry, I am feeling really restless. I'm not sure what that is about. It kept me awake last night for a couple of hours as my mind raced about all manor of things. I get this way sometimes and there is not much I can do about it but to try to figure out what seems to be stirring within me. It often starts like this. I can't really name it. It's a feeling I get I have to really wrestle with myself to try to understand it. Sometimes I figure it out. Other times I don't. Sometimes it's a restlessness about something really big: a lifestyle change or a close look at my life's priorities. Sometimes it's not something so dramatic. Sometimes it means doing something that I haven't done for a while or calling someone I haven't talked to for a while. Sometimes it just seems to go away and I never quite figure out what it's about. It's weird I know, but that's me: weird. I don't always get myself. I have learned that I just have to try to listen and act when I feel I need to act and follow my heart and my God towards something different or new. This is both an exciting time and an exhausting time. It will not let me go until I have walked beside it, carried it, and felt it. I just wish I knew what "it" is.
I hope and pray for God's wisdom to reveal it to me. I pray that I will trust God and to know that God is the God of "it" as well. I pray for rest in the midst of restlessness. I pray for patience with myself as I allow myself to feel to think to wrestle and to listen. In the end, I know God can work through this restlessness to make me more like Jesus.
Thanks for being a part of my journey!