Girlfriends.

You know what's hard? Friendships. Maintaining friendships, let alone making new ones. I'm not talking about fair weather friends, that's cake. But a real friendship. Woman to woman.

You hear time and time again that relationships are hard, they take work (as in you and the person you're in love with) but I disagree. My sweetheart and I have never been work. That's ease. That's love. That's joy. Maintaing relationships with other women friends, that's work.

I will always believe I'm a good friend. If I love you, I love you until the end. I listen. I listen, listen, listen. I advise if needed, I sit quietly and support if needed. I hear you out, I'm on your side, I want the best for you.

Maybe I too often establish that I'm only the listener / supporter and end up feeling like I'm not being cared for the same way?

Maybe because as you get older and get married, seeing your friends is too few and far between?

What hurts is when you feel like you give but don't get in return. Maybe those on the other end have no idea.

Maybe I should speak up. Maybe I should make an even bigger effort. Maybe I'm exhausted from that. Maybe I'm now too easily letting things go. I don't know.

Obviously, I'm more content to spend time with my sweetheart, first and foremost. But maybe I just want a little more TLC sometimes.

Maybe what's bothering me is that I'm still confused and broken hearted over a friendship that I've pretty much lost. Recently. And I am still not sure why or what happened. In my mind, I didn't want to be the supporter and the lone pursuer of a quality friendship. I wanted to back off to see if she'd come to me, too. She didn't.

Ouch.

Maybe she didn't care like I did? Maybe she didn't see it like this? Should we hash it out? I don't know if I have the energy. I don't know if my emotions can handle it.

Maybe I'll start to feel better just getting this much out.